Even though this is still and probably always will be a "work in progress" for me and I'm still struggling with it, I decided to write about it since I think it's something we should all talk about and embrace more - SELF LOVE.
No, I'm not talking about selfish, arrogant, egocentric self love. I'm talking about accepting yourself, always learning, growing and developing as a person, being in piece, learn how to forgive and take care of yourself, enjoying life, appreciate your inner and outer beauty and your body, respect yourself.
Why do I think this is important?
Because I believe that you can truly fulfill your purpose, serve this world and other people, love and accept other as they are when you learn how to love and accept yourself.
If you are full of self doubt, hate, jealousy and other negative, self-destructive feeling, how can you be able to show and give anything else to others? Unfortunately, we live in a world where it's so easy to judge and bring other people down, where bullying in school is "an everyday thing" - in person or online, where the role models are photoshoped, half plastic-half human women and other twisted actions and believes we are served daily.
With all of this, of course it's easy to doubt yourself and develop "I am not ______ enough" mindset. We get trapped in constantly picking out something "wrong" or "bad" about us. It can be very challenging to keep a positive picture about yourself but once we change our perception and mindset, we can turn our lives around.
PHYSICAL APPERIANCE
I'm sure that all of us, at some point in our lives, had or still have something we don't like about the way we look. As the matter of fact, I bet we can all pick a few things. We can make an entire list in seconds! But when we're asked to name the features we do like, it takes a lot longer to point it out. When we look in the mirror, we don't say "Hey beautiful" but we rather start the never ending "If I only had..." list.
MINDSET
To know yourself and your true values is one of the most powerful feelings. To focus on your own life, your own path and growth is hard, but once it's done - it is so liberating. We often compare our life to others - relationships, career, success, weight, hobbies... Pretty much everything. This can cause us a lot of anxiety, jealousy and self doubt. We have to remember that we all have different paths in life and we never know how it's like to walk in someone else's shoes. There is the right time for everything in our life and we will definitely get where we have to be when we are ready.
Here are some tips and tricks that help me on my journey to self love:
1. Accept that we all have bad days
Self love and self confidence doesn't mean that once it's there, it's always going to be there and everything will be perfect. We all have bad days and times when nothing seems to be right. When this happens to me, I ask myself "What makes me feel this way?" - is it something bad that happened, is it because I have a problem that I've been ignoring, is it because someone said something to me that caused negative emotions or is it just PMS... Once you find the root of the negative emotions and where they're coming from, it is so much easier to deal with it.
2. Learn to speak up and say "no"
This might be very hard at the beginning, it might make you feel uncomfortable or even bad, but sometimes it has to be done, especially if you're one of those people who always try to make others happy and put yourself, your wishes and desires last.
3. Treat yourself
Every day do something that will make you feel good - have a cup of tasty coffee, put on your favorite perfume or outfit on, listen to your favorite song... These small joyful moments can boost your mood and make you feel so much better.
4. Learn to like and enjoy your own company
No matter how many people you have in your life, if you can't enjoy your own company, you will most likely feel lonely or unsatisfied. Spending time alone is so important to me. In those moments I can really tune in with my inner self and figure out what is going on in my heart, mind and soul.
5. Learn to give and receive compliments
An amazing way to make someone's day 10 times better, plus it's free! One honest compliment can stay in someone's memory for days, months, even the entire life. I guess words can affect us more than we think, so we should be more careful with the words we choose. Now take a second and give someone a nice compliment! :)
6. Forgive
This is probably the hardest thing for me to do, I always hold onto the words and actions and it's hard for me to let go, or at least it takes me a lot of time to do so. I am still learning to forgive myself and others, to learn my lesson and move on without bitter feelings. One thing that helps me is knowing that each situation and person in our lives is sent to us with a purpose - either it's a blessing or a lesson.
7. Make a list of things you love about yourself
Yes, write it down. Yes, include both physical appearance and characteristics as a person. No matter how big or small it is - write it down. Keep this list at easy access and every now and then read it. You will value yourself so much more when you remind yourself of all the things that make you beautiful (inside and out).
8. Surround yourself with positive people
You can be the most confident, uplifting person in the entire world but if you constantly surround yourself with negative people who never stop complaining, talk bad about themselves and others, gossip and are full of envy, it won't take long until they suck you in into their circle. Be careful who you spend your time with.
9. Don't settle down for anything less than you know you deserve
No matter what it is - job, friendship, romantic relationship... - know your worth and set your standards high but realistic and humble at the same time. Know your potential, how much you're able to give and what you deserve.
10. Be grateful
I would say that I was always someone who was thankful, even for the simple things in life, but it was only the last year when I really focused on gratitude pretty much on daily basis. No matter if I just had grateful thoughts in my head, or I wrote it down in my journal or made a #gratefulvibes post, it changed by mindset and my life for better. So much better! I encourage you to think of or write down at least 3 things you are grateful for each day.
Once we learn to treat ourselves with love and respect, we will be able to give others so much more of the same feelings and emotions. When we feel comfortable in our own skin, we can offer the greatest of ourselves to everything and everyone around us. We can help, inspire and support each other instead of being jealous and bring each other down.
