For years - and really for most of my life - I have encountered a strange energetic exchange between men and women, a seeming difficulty to approach one another and great difficulty to get to a place of shared familiarity despite all the unuttered desires in the air.
I never wondered to much about it in my youth because it seemed to be rather normal to be dissonant with women. Yes, all guys talked about it forever but noone really managed to uphold polarity relationships with women for too long, it always seemed like an unbridgeable divide. But when I came to psy festivals for the first years I was amazed at the patterns that emerged seeing it all so clearly happening in front of me, on altered states of mind and especially LSD. Seeing just how much pain there seems to be that is largely pissing off both male and female human beings.
We want to make peace and complement one anoter, I feel we really do. We just don't know how to do it. And I don't only speak from my own experience here but also fom that of my friends who pretty much struggle with the same kind of issue. It's too important to just throw away so easily as to aim for dissonant partners of the opposite sex. At the same time we miss women greatly, each in our own way. A part of our human existence really is missing, and even with those friends who date a lot of women but feel they can never connect truly.
Relationships quickly turn stale and into a giant mess of expectations, clinginess and obsessive behavior based on fear. No thank you.
The more the years went on the more I realized my social skills were improving massively through all the psy festivals I had visited - particularly with guys. I feel confident to say I have come to a point in recent years where I can confidently approach any dude I meet, regardless of what walk of life he is from, what his background is or what he believes to be true. I have leared to deal with any sort of guy I meet, build a bridge and connect in some nergetic way, no matter how different they might be. We may not all be friends or even like each other but communication without hangups certainly comes easy these days, at least as long as they are not women.
Festivals have taught me how to diffuse the most hairraising situations with groups of drunk dudes, have taught me how to deal with guys who are on a totally different wavelength than me and how to easily build bridges to those men I meet who are in my energetic tribe. It's strange but I guess understandable because I can relate to my own experience and have worked and met a lot of guys. It sort of builds on each other.
But as the years went on I felt weirder and weirder about that one-sided improvement in my social skills because it became more and more apparent that I really am only meeting half of the tribe, half of my tribe. What about the women? Here they all are! What do I do with them?
And HOW?
How do I learn to play by these unwritten rules that seem to be oddly unanimous but often times skewed by the control structure thorugh our upbringing, schooling and culture?
Well I am happy to say I think I am finally getting it, as this year's week at Psy-Fi festival has shown, as well as meeting a new woman in my life that is an immense pleasure to experience in all her ways.
And though I have yet to catch up on a lot of Floor Lessons from past years, I really want to prepone this experience and change in understanding sexual relating to women as I feel many if not everyone has felt this way one time or another, and I feel I am finally getting somewhere...
I wonder whether I can manage to put it into words at all... What the problem was, what the baggage was, what the expectations were and how I think we can move past them. Sounds bold, but I really wanna try. Stay tuned <3
mushroom-magazine.com
cdn-az.allevents.in
truehumanity.eu