One Robbie (it must have been the original!) said to Marian, “Isn’t she lovely?”
She pretended to be horrified. “Not another one Robert!”
All in all, a night I will treasure. It is so rare that we are all so happy and exuberant.
2691
Apart from Lynda, Candy is by now the youngest in appearance. Back in our bedroom she looked at our Robbies. “Robert?”
“Candy? Which one of us?”
“Both. Can I have for one night both of you to love?” There was an idea we all approved of. She sensed our admiration, but did not react to us, her mind was filled with pictures of being held by two Robbies, her dream for that night. She got her promise and went to sleep happy, hardly needing the orgasms she shared in.
We woke up in the morning, our bodies still glowing from the loving. I saw that one of the Robbies held little Lynda on his chest as she slept. His eyes heavy with need for sleep he looked at me.
*She was crying for her mummy. I think I have to bring her back next.*
“She’s happy now, go to sleep.”
We quietly gathered in the kitchen, but Robbie sat by himself, apart from us. This was the first time we’ve seen one part of him awake while the other sleeps. He wanted to stay alone so that our chatter will not wake up his other half.
Noname came out and we gestured for him to join us.
“Why is he sitting alone?” We explained.
“Do you know what he said to me last night? He said he is glad he had not killed me, because I dance beautifully. I find him very difficult to understand. He has such power and yet he is able to paint pictures that speak even to me. He makes a noble gesture and then turns it into a joke. He loses at chess, but beats me at war.”
Tina whispered to him. “Do you remember when you took your form in the void?”
“Yes.”
“Come with me.”
“Tina - are you sure you should?”
“He would stop me Maria, he can hear us.”
She took him to the computer and called up the painting. He stared at the portrait of himself as he reared, his claw only a small part of the power in his form. As we stared at the picture we forgot about the powerful grace of him and saw the pain in his eyes as he stabbed at the ground for the fourth time.
He whispered, “When did he do this? He has barely had time to stop for food.”
“When he needs to think he comes here and paints.”
He looked at Lucy and shook his head. “You are a strange people. How could you allow a child to stay alone in the void with me? How or why would she come to me?”
Lucy answered, “I saw that.” And pointed at his picture, meaning the pain we saw. He understood, I think.
I spoke, still feeling guilty. “It was my fault. I forgot to check all had left before returning home.”
“But you are a child too!”
Aganthi asked, “A child Noname? She is our leader.”
“I heard of that. The Anadir and Sparklers discussed it.”
I asked, curious. “Did they disapprove?”
He stared at me. “They said it is not your time yet, but that you will be a great leader one day.”
2692
Laura put her arms around me, her face defiant. “She already is!” I hugged my little sister gratefully.
“They are right. It is not my time yet. I still have a lot to learn from Robert.”
“If you can see that, then you truly will be a great leader.”
“Thank you Noname. Why do you insist on us still calling you by that ridiculous name?”
“I do not have a world and have no people to call my own. A name is only for being identified when there are others of my kind. I think Robert understood that.”
“Then you are both wrong. A name is for friends to call you by and have a name that sits comfortably in their hearts. Noname is not a name for the heart.”
“Yes, like the name Lucy sits in mine. You will not be able to speak my true name, but you may call me Sharipya. It is the closest I can speak it with this body.”
“Sharipya the Elipian of honour.” Robbie walked in smiling. “I have been curious, but I should have known these females would get your name from you, despite what I said.”
“You speak to me of my honour when it has shamed me?”
Robbie shook hands with Cassie to illustrate what he wanted and then stretched out his hand to Sharipya.
“There is no dishonour to weigh your heart with. The shame is mine. I jumped to conclusions, thinking your alternate had died and taken an important part of my loves with him. As you saw yesterday, it is I who stole those memories so the blame is mine. Sharipya, your alternate died without reason because of me, how do I make amends?”
“If you did not steal the memories they would have died with him! Why do you assume guilt for his death? It is not the result that shames him, but the act itself. If you have managed to outwit him, that does not detract from his guilt.”
“Life has taught you and I many things Sharipya, some of the lessons have been bitter. These, the ones who control my heart, many of them are still children and as all the young do, they see and attach blame easily. I do not want them growing up to be like me. They must learn that guilt is not as obvious as it often appears to be - even if you think you know all the facts. It is for them to ponder this case and decide where the blame lies and how to apportion it.”
Sol, with a naughty grin, turned to us. “I think he spoke thus for all his Cherinians. He saw that we too judged and condemned on the basis of where we saw the guilt lie. The truth is, I agree with Sharipya. His alternate intended the results and if Robert is able to thwart him, even after his death, it does not change anything. It just means we have a leader who never gives up on those he loves. That is the lesson you should have learnt.”
“Your wit, even as Sol, still tends to be dry.” Robbie pretended to admonish. “You forget I am no longer leader. Unless you were describing Samantha?”
“Sam is no leader. Did you truly think to fool her? A leader is chosen by the followers, at least I hope it will be so for us and not as it has been for those of your world?”
“You truly believe there would be any Cherinians who would not want her?”
“I’ll answer you with another question. Where did Sam come from?”
“How can I answer that?”
“You know she came from the future. Nearly two centuries from now you are still leader.” She cocked her head, as if waiting for his counter argument. I saw though that secretly Robbie is upset and I guessed why.
“Sol love, you are wrong. Because he is leader then does not mean he has to stay leader for all that time. I accepted the role and will stay leader unless the Cherinians make it obvious they do not want me. When Robert sees the time has come, he will be leader again.”
*You silly goose - you really must love me.*
2693
I gave him a haughty stare, but then dissolved into giggles. The idiot was painting scenes in his mind of me taking on airs and making speeches, Hitler style, while they all goose-stepped before me and saluted. The other girls caught it too and Sharipya stared at us as if we had gone mad when the room was filled with our sounds of laughter for no apparent reason. We left him to puzzle out our words and try to find what is so funny.
Lynda and Robbie came out from the bedroom, her hand lost in his. From the way she looked up at him as they walked towards us I knew, we all did, that he has lost this game. There was pure adoration and pride in her eyes. Soon as she saw Cherine she ran to her, bursting with her news.
“He said he will be my daddy!” Her eyes were shining and poor little Cherine could only hug her, the emoting from Lynda flooding her. “I never had a daddy before Cher!” With those words Cherine lost any control she still had and we felt her linking little Lynda to us!
Lynda burst out crying and none of us were very far behind her. Aganthi picked her up. “He really is your daddy now.”
It did not take long for Marian to come over. “Alki can’t come but he wants to know what happened.” She stopped and then looked at the two Robbies. “You didn’t!!”
“Not me, or us, Cherine did.”
“I didn’t! You told her you are her daddy.”
Since no one can link in to our family unless we all love them, there were no regrets. It was a day of rejoicing, though I wondered, what will Lynda the adult say?
Gilli looked at me in amazement. “You really did not know Sam?”
“Know what? Oh!” I had not put two and two together, none of the girls had bothered to think about it, so I think only Robbie and I had been ignorant. I spelt it out for him. “Robbie, she has been in love with you for a long time. She thought we could never love her because she fought against us.”
“She did not!” Diana retorted. “She was used by Doris, she did not know.”
“It looks as if we will have to stay as two. They are too many for one of us.”
“No. We finish this job and we become one. We would end up splitting our family if we stay like this.”
The other Robbie stayed thoughtful. “When we rejoin, the memories of both of us become one. If we are to have tonight with Cherine to celebrate our fifteen years, having double the memories of loving her could be very sweet.”
Cherine looked stunned. She was emoting her sexual reaction to the idea of two Roberts making love to her so strongly that we all reeled. Most of us also sensed the difference. When a child feels that way it is not the same as someone who has experienced sex. She has only known the gentle adoring love, the kisses and soft raspy tongue. Her body is still a secret to her and most of her excitement comes from her imagination, without the facts to channel her fantasies along known paths and reactions. At that moment I understood why or how this can affect our sweet Robbie so much. It was also at this time that we saw most clearly how her mind works. Still slightly dizzy from her blood pounding she spoke to them.
“I’d love that, another time. If this is our fifteenth anniversary I want to be me, as I really am with the one man I love. Do you mind?”
“One of you would be more than enough for me Cherine. We don’t mind.” Smooth and true in a way, but he (they) had looked forward to experiencing her virginal reactions again. They consoled themselves by pretending it had only been nostalgia for a time when all was new and love was just a bud still unfurling its petals (and he was still to bring her little flower to full blossom).
2694
2695
I still haven’t decided whether I’m annoyed with Arthur; I don’t like anyone altering my life without even discussing it with me first. On the other hand, Robbie and nearly everyone else agree that he did a good thing, that we were about to make a serious mistake. Were we? Or do we now think so because he altered the reality of our universe?
Robbie saw that the parents of Dommi have come to spend some time with their daughter, delighting in having their little girl back, even if it is for such a short ephemeral time. It shows that even though Elia and Clairi do not show that they use their Cherinian gifts, they do, for they have seen Dommi projecting as a child quite often, yet now they can’t bear to be away from her, because it is her mind which has reverted. It is the same for us too, all us girls have been poking our noses into their minds, enjoying the feelings of our loved ones as trusting little girls, innocent and oblivious of all that life does to change us. Dommi has reverted to wearing ribbons and bows as she had in her real childhood, her luxuriant head of hair pulled up at the back and tied by her mother so that it is kept out of her face and cascades over her shoulders. Being a Cherinian means she also shares our minds, but is only amused, in a childish way, by our obsession with her and the other three.
Wendy takes it more seriously than we do, the memory of being a child still so fresh in her mind, and she spends what little time we have left almost living within their minds, finding no doubt inspiration for new songs in their sweetness.
At the beginning of this diary, Robbie agonised over the fact that his little Cherine will change with time and now we all understand him, feeling an empathy we had not before.
In his sweet selfish way, Robbie wants some time alone with Dommi, but he does not have the heart to take her away from her parents, so he took Lynda and Cherine for a milkshake. We all watched them of course and were highly amused when he stopped at a small, but expensive toy shop in Kefalari and bought the two of them everything they want.
“This has made me think about my own past and the fact that there is another Maria in this world who is suffering. Soon as we have the time I want to find her.”
Aganthi said, “It might be better she does not see you Maria. Let us do it, we’ll help her and when she is ready for Roberto’s healer, then she meets you.”
The shaking of her head was most adamant. “No. I want to meet her as she is now. Aganthi, what happened to me was a miracle. The years are passing and the miracle fades. I still remember clearly my ugly body, my twisted stumpy legs, but the feeling of the miracle of Robbie, it fades, loses its edge. I want it back.”
“Why sweetheart?” Marian asked. “Why try to live in the past, it would be better to concentrate on the miracle of having your Robert now.”
Wisely she replied, “The past gives colour and life to the present and future Marian.”
Most of the day though was spent by us talking with Sharipya. He asked questions and as Robbie would have answered, so did we. When he asked about our trip into the distant past, our following of the fire-world, we explained about our fear of changing the past, how it would only branch reality so that life for those we saved would only exist in some other reality.
“We want all the species of that reality alive and happy within their own reality Sharipya. You have seen and felt what a terrible thing a galaxy with no life is! The fire-world destroyed one thousand seven hundred and sixty four species that were witnessed. There were probably a few thousand. Think of how rich your galaxy will be when we have brought them all back.”
“Only a few thousand species within a whole galaxy!! We had dreamt of life flowing throughout the galaxy.”
“So did we, but we learnt a lot during that trip. The numbers sound small because life has not evolved evenly throughout the galaxy at the same time. Otherwise, it does seem that most of the galaxy is a hostile environment for all life. There are a number of planets that could have developed life, but did not. Those will be shared out among you so that life spreads as far and wide as it can.”
2696
“That is not strictly true Sam, the way you explained it makes it wrong.” Meli interrupted me. “There are many planets which have known life in a past distant to yours Sharipya and they failed, either because they killed themselves off, or something happened to their solar system that killed them. A good example are the extinct masters of the machine race. There seem to be countless worlds that are pregnant with lower life forms, waiting for the right moment to create their own sentient beings. Life is a process, endlessly evolving and devolving universally.”
Sharipya sat pensively thoughtful for a while. “Robert is right. Hate is never a good emotion, it only destroys. To think that I came here obsessed with killing him. A being who is bringing life to a whole galaxy, what if I had succeeded!?”
“Then he would not have been the right man to make such a dream come true.” Alki said in his acerbic manner, trying as usual to hide his awe and love for Robbie. Sharipya was shocked by his comment. He was trying to wallow in self pity and we were not letting him claim the guilt for what he had not succeeded in doing. Why is it that people of so many species love doing that?
Sharipya was very soon to forget his woes as he reeled in shock when we explained a telephone call we received and why we burst into tears.
We have had a call from the friend of Allan; he passed away in his sleep the previous night!!
Even as we all burst into tears, Sol disappeared, rushing to find his soul. The Sparklers do not save every single soul of the dying from Earth, but there is a good chance they have saved his as some of them have met him here in our home. Even as I wept, my heart went out to Cherine. She has grief waiting for her as soon as she gets back her memories and understands we have lost him.
Do not misunderstand me. I wept too and grieved, but I was also filled with terror. This has served to remind me that our own Mr ‘A’ is mortal and likely to die at any time. He does not even have us with him to use our healers as ‘our’ Allan did. What will happen to us when he dies?
Sharipya found this story, as he saw it, impossible to believe, but our grief was too real, our emoting too palpable for him to disbelieve entirely. He become convinced we have been hoodwinked.
Robbie delayed returning because they were among people. They rushed looking for a deserted street, but every tiny road seemed to have someone walking in it. Finally he thought of using his power to ‘convince’ a woman to turn around and they jumped home.
“I have to go back and find him.”
“You will bring him back to us Robbie?”
“I have to. He will have to stay in Greece under a new name. Call Tasso and ask him to prepare the documents.”
“It will not make any difference if you wait a day or two Robbie. First get the girls back.”
“I want him back before we bring back Cherine.”
I insisted. “No, it would be better you get her back first. She should be here with him and for him when he arrives. She will not suffer Robbie, she will know you can bring him back.”
He nodded, acquiescing. “I don’t understand how this could happen. He has had a healer check him at least once a month. How could he go from full health to a heart attack within weeks?”
“What does your healer say Robbie?”
He sat there for a long time communing with his healer. When he looked up his face was white. “Allan would not let them enter him!” He burst out in frustration and anger, “What the hell is wrong with him!? First he refuses to become a Cherinian and now this!!”
“He is afraid.”
“Of us? Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Perhaps he is not afraid of us, but of himself.”
“What does that mean Theresa?”
“We were creatures of his imagination. Perhaps he could not face the fact that we are real.”
2697
“No.” Bernie spoke with hesitation, not entirely confident of her idea. “I think he was afraid because it suggested he is not the prime Allan. Meeting his alternates did not please him. They never became close.”
“But why refuse the healer? He could have lived for hundreds of years. Bernie, I think you are right. He will have to get over it, I’m bringing him back.”
Sol returned dejected. “I’m sorry, we lost him, no Sparkler collected him.”
She was greatly relieved to hear that it does not matter. She flung her arms around him and when he held her to him he felt how her body was trembling. She had despaired and felt she had let all of us down and her relief made her want to cry. He soothed her, his fingers running through her hair until she had relaxed. He joked, to ease all of us. “The girls will be bored having only the one Robert, I better go back to them. Cassie, why don’t you go to Allan’s friend and find out all the details. Don’t forget to make yourself an adult first.”
Allan must have known that we would not let him stay dead, so why did he do it this way? Surely all he has done is add grief to his family? Have I moved so far from the normal humans that I no longer understand them? No. I don’t think so. For one, what I ask has to do with logic. Secondly, I see that neither Alki nor any of the others understand either. The truth is we all feel a little hurt. Is the prospect of becoming a Cherinian so terrible that he would prefer to die?
I know I’m sounding like a spoiled brat, but I too have the right to sometimes be a little unreasonable. I know it has nothing to do with us, it is his own fears that drive him, but I also feel as if he has insulted my loves. I suppose that what I say speaks more about me than him, betraying perhaps fears I have? I don’t like this introspection and would rather continue with the facts. (No Sam, even if you don’t write about it here, you must look into yourself. How else can you grow into the mature lovely woman I expect to have by my side some day?)
Both girls were brought back by the Robbies (their memories, so that their personalities are complete once again). Lynda withdrew into herself for a long time. By then Robbie had brought himself back to being just our one love again, as he is not going back for Cherine just now. He waited until Cherine and Dommi gave him a signal and then went to sit by Lynda.
“A bit shocked by the developments?”
“Actually I’ve been wondering what was the point of it? All of you only loved me because I was a little girl. I cannot live my life like that Robert. I have my job, which is challenging and I enjoy. I have over the years made a few friends and settled in a way of life that suits me. To love as an adult and be loved, for that I would give up everything. So as to be loved as a child, I think not!”
“So my love, you are going to bring changes to my life? I suppose all the girls will soon want to emulate you.” She looked stricken by his words and he grinned. “It is about time too. Perhaps you can teach them, free them from me? They need to be whatever age it is they feel they are. Human, Cherinian years, what do they matter? They must experience it all and grow to the limits of their own abilities and characters.”
“But what about you?”
“I too need to grow. Lynda love, I will always, I hope, have children around me. I do not need to be surrounded by children only. Most of what they will achieve will be through their ability to help mature me.”
Cherine sat listening to them, her empathy approving of what Robbie was saying as it helps Lynda and yet, she could not help it that her eyes smouldered. Her whole body was tense, speaking of her rebellion. Her stance said she wants her Robert as he is and will fight him if he tries to change.
Sharipya sat silent through this, but we sensed anger and disgust growing in him. He is beginning to understand that Robbie loves little girls in the way women are loved. Perhaps he imagined his massive adult frame doing the same to some little frail colt of a female of his species and found the thought repulsive. We do know from Lucy that his species are very protective of their young ones, all of them caring for the young, not just the parents. I challenged him.
“Sharipya, are there no adults of your world who loved in this way your children?”
2698
“Not that I know of,” he answered stiffly. “There have been cases where a male loved a female while she was just younger than is acceptable, but not the extremes I see here.”
“You must find it disgusting and unnatural. Tell me, do you find us children disgusting, or Robert?”
“He is the adult and responsible.”
“Oh good!” The girls were all glaring at me. “I was worried you might think we were the disgusting ones. I mean, just because we force him to make love to us, that is no reason why we should be disgusting, is it?”
“You…” he strangled on his words.
I nodded cheerfully. “Oh yes! You did not know? The first few times he tried to kill himself so as to avoid it, but luckily Cherine would not let him stay dead. I think he is now used to it and understands that he should pleasure us.”
I could hardly speak, the girls were all laughing within my mind and egging me on. Robbie put his arm around Lynda and jumped to Cyprus to avoid laughing out loud. Lynda was rather miffed that he did so. She too had been enjoying the show I was putting on.
“Sharipya, do you have storytellers on your world?”
“I think that is common to all species.”
“Not really. Still, we have our own storytellers. They have not told our story because we are too alien for you to understand the nuances and those are what give meaning and help us grow. It is necessary that you spend some time with us and begin to understand what is different about us, but more importantly, in how many ways we are the same. Soon as you are ready we will have a storytelling.”
Robbie returned with Lynda more relaxed, but still not comfortable with the situation. Inside her she wants to be happy, but she still cannot believe she is loved as ‘Lynda the adult’. Robbie kissed all of us goodnight, asked Sharipya to keep us safe (he did not reply) and with Cherine’s tiny hand in his they jumped. Sharipya just sat there convinced we are all mad and our Robbie the maddest of all.
((I have decided to move forward (backward?) a short message from Mr ‘A’ as it came much later in our diary and would not have made sense then. I wonder why he didn’t place it here and let us know so that we return to read it. At least he used the chat font this time.))
2699
Maria smiled when she read your comment - she is not so quiet, I just have not had time to write much about our daily lives. We hardly seem to settle down and something happens! Being Greek, she can be rather loud at times, but we’ve noticed she is rarely boisterous if Robbie is not around to derive joy from her happiness. I won’t describe her personality any further because I’ll get hit! Just teasing.
Lots of love from all of us and keep writing.
Only after Robbie and Cherine left, did Sharipya show his worry. “For how long will they be gone?”
I replied, “We don’t know. If they go to another reality they could stay away for years and be back tonight - not that they would. If they stay here, in our reality, they might be gone for a day or two. Are you worried about your people being brought back?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
“There is no reason for you to worry. We could wait a hundred years and still bring them back at the same time. Your world is not in our reality so we can go back to it at our time of choosing.”
2700
“I no longer worry about them as much as it is I who misses my world and people. Once I believed Robert and knew I will see them again, time has become a burden.”
“I’m sorry Sharipya, it was thoughtless of us. We should have done it first.”
“No. It is important the evil I did be undone first.”
I spoke in a flat voice, “You are taking responsibility for what your alternate did? I do not think any of us gave you the right to do that.”
He sat there glowering at me which made the girls all move closer to me. Dommi put her arm around my shoulders. “You are beginning to speak like Roberto does, it is not good Sam and it does not suit you. How do you hide from your empathy?”
“It is that which makes me speak this way Dommi. He wants to bear the guilt for something he did not do. He does not understand that it will hurt us if he does. Even those things he did do, he did them thinking we had allowed his people to die while having the power to save them. Any of us would have felt the same way.”
“I think you have said more to help him understand by speaking of our pain than you did by attacking him before. Do not use reason and logic, my love, to solve matters of the heart. Reach out and feel his pain and let your heart talk to him.”
“Sharipya, I’m sorry, Dommi is right.” I felt I owed him some kind of explanation. “At first my father wanted me to learn so as to be able to help him. I was but a new-born and afraid of failing the man I adored. Then he gave me responsibilities and now I’m terrified, which is why I sometimes emulate him and speak in a way that sounds aggressive.”
“He is your father?”
“Yes.” I grinned at him, more gentle now. “I have upset you again. Perhaps it is good that we shock and upset you, for then you forget to blame yourself. I wonder, when you hear our story, will you understand or will you keep your mind locked from us.”
“His heart Sam, not his mind.”
“No Dommi, his mind. He does not know us well enough to care about us yet. He can only do so once his mind stops seeing us as monsters.” Dommi nodded, agreeing.
Lucy went to him, putting her hand in his. “He does care. He is my brother and I am his sister.” Even being in an alien body, did not hide the way he looked at her.
I have my Ordinx, it seems she has her Sharipya. We saw him stare into her eyes and his face grimaced, I think he does not know well enough how to express in our body his emotions, for he grimaced with eyes and heart that were tender.
“Yes little sister, I care. Are you too his daughter?”
“No. My mother was raped as a child by some bad men and she had me. They were going to do the same thing to me when Robert stole me from them. I was not made with love Shari, but Robert has become my father and has given me the love I should have had.”
“Raped!?”
Despite her tenderness for him she is a child and reacted like one, shaking her head impatiently. “You have had rape on your world Shari.”
“We have not!”
“You told us the story about the male that tried to steal a female. If he had, that would have been rape. She had those she loved and wanted to be with, she would not have wanted him to make love to her and have his baby.” I listened in amazement, while Theresa was hanging on to her every word. None of us had realised how she has matured.
“It is not the same Lucy, she would have wanted him…”
I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love - and should some of it be true for our reality, I hope you will love our Cherine.
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)8th November, 2019
- posted on Steemit: 8th November, 2019
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