When the body is tired and all that's left is a wandering mind that doesn't rest. I suppose this is something that's only felt at a personal level and could only be understood by others who have been into that zone. A zone where the drive is strong to accomplish something and that it seems like it's the only thing that matters.
The fuck if I'm even making sense bothers me not. This post can drown in the see of posts posted daily, forgotten strings of characters in some random transaction but I won't forget it.
And just like that, the video just sparks the inspiration I need. Beyond the shenanigans, I'm trying to accomplish something for myself like it's the only thing that matters and everything else becomes background noise. You see something you want to do and grind your way to get it. You're going to be crazy devoting your life towards that goal because that's the only goal that made sense enough to take up your time.
I never understood what drove the best to put countless hours dedicating themselves to excel at only one thing until I found my own want to do that one thing among many things. And even if it means the world to you, there's always going to be opposition, be it the people around you or the entire world says fuck you.
I'm not suffering enough, not learning enough, and not doing enough to be good enough and that's the kind of self pep talk I need to get my shit together and focus on that zone. And in achieving enough is not enough because reaching point B from point A is just a prerequisite to moving the goal post.
And I write with the ticks and tacks of the keyboard, I could feel that inner shadow directing the taps. You may call it passion, I just call it an itch and it's demanding to be felt.