Sleep paralysis is something I've dealt with my entire life. My episodes come in spurts. I will go months, maybe even a year without experiencing anything. Then, suddenly I will have 4 per week, for a 2 week period. Or it'll happen 3 days in a row, then I'll go a 6 week stretch of nothing. Right now I am over 6 months, no episodes. Seeing as how there is no cure for this, the condition has been the cause of much frustration in my life. However, it's also allowed me the motivation to learn so much.
An episode of S.P. is experienced one of two ways; Hypnagogic (perdormital) sleep paralysis occurs when a person is falling asleep. The body shuts down for REM sleep, while the brain remains conscious. Hypnopompic (postdormital) sleep paralysis occurs upon waking up. The body remains asleep while the brain wakes up during REM sleep. Either way, the brain is awake while the body is asleep, leaving the person conscious but paralyzed. Unable to move, unable to speak, unable to scream, unable to do anything but see and think. Neither of which are able to do clearly.
Often times a sleep paralysis episode can be accompanied by an entity(ies). These entities are usually described as shadow figures, a little old witch lady, a man wearing a hat, a gargoyle, ect.. In personal experience a shadow figure with malicious intent appears. It's presence feels as if it's going to take over the room and engulf my very existence. This other dimensional being is about to violate me, steal my very life essence, my soul is dying and there is nothing I can do to resist because I'm paralyzed. I cannot appropriately put into words the terror experienced in that moment. Anyone who has ever experienced SP can attest to the fact that it can be one of the most terrifying experiences of your life, traumatic even. Each energy-draining episode leaves a lingering sense of fear that takes some time to wear off. Over the years I've managed to get to a point where I can be aware of their presence and not allow it to overwhelm me as it once did. Recently it's been the fear of my body never waking up that sends me into panic.
In the midst of a sleep paralysis episode I try to avoid embracing any of the negative feelings that are attempting to overthrow my thought process. I've learned that fear, panic, or attempting to fight is the worst possible reaction to the situation. That fear distracts the brain from concentrating on the task of waking the body. I usually close my eyes and envision a spark of electricity going from my brain, down my neck, through my shoulder, down my arm and through the tips of my fingers. I concentrate on feeling my fingers and the action of wiggling them. It sounds so simple but it's a monumental feat when your paralyzed and a demon is coming at you. Some people choose to call on God, reciting scripture, or praying. I suggest anything that keeps your mind off of the reality you awoke to, whatever works.
“These hallucinations may be caused by a hypervigilant brain state, in which detection thresholds are lowered and become biased towards cues of threat and danger. The amygdala is the emotion and threat recognition centre of the brain. During REM, the sleep state immediately adjacent to an episode of sleep paralysis, the amygdala is very active. Bursts of activity from the brainstem pass through the thalamus, which passes activity onto the amygdala.”
-The Sleep Paralysis Project
Neurobiology
http://www.thesleepparalysisproject.org/about-sleep-paralysis/neurobiology/
“...despite former beliefs, the feeling of paralysis is not caused by supernatural beings.”
“In the past, it was believed that demons caused sleep paralysis by holding people down or sitting on their chest. This was often due to hallucinations, which are a common symptom during sleep paralysis because the brain is still in a dream state. People have reported seeing ghosts, demons and other strange apparitions while experiencing paralysis.”
-Alina Bradford, Live Science Contributor
Sleep Paralysis: Causes, Symptoms & Treatment
https://www.livescience.com/50876-sleep-paralysis.html
Look, I wholeheartedly believe that is what can be observed from a doctor's POV but it doesn't feel that simple when you are experiencing it. Personally, I feel this is an over-simplification of the issue and an incomplete conclusion of the cause. I've heard it all recited many times, the conversation usually ends with a recommendation to be less stressed, get more sleep, and a prescription for some drug I'd rather not take because I've been there, tried that, thanks. Although, I can see why people choose to run with that, it does make it a bit easier to live with the condition, I suppose. It gives you the power to dismiss the experience as simply not real, it's nothing, it'll go away soon.
I thought that approach worked for me for awhile. I spent most of my teen years thinking denial was the way to go. I would tell myself it's not real, it will go away but it never did. It just burdened me with something I couldn't talk to anyone about. How could they relate? I would just sound crazy trying to explain it. The doctor had already confirmed it's a malfunctioning of my brain process and what I'm seeing is not real so...that means I'm crazy, right? There's no way I was trying to talk to anyone about this. That's a pretty lonely position to be in but I didn't really think much of it at the time. By the time I was a teenager, adapting to life's ups and downs had already become a nearly perfected art form to me. Anyone who has been a ward of the state as a child knows that process will teach you quickly. When it came to my sleep paralysis, I stored it in my selective memory vault where I put everything else that was unpleasant. The consequences of this practice can be harmful and potentially dangerous. I wish I'd had better guidance in dealing with this at a young age. As is, it has become another part of my healing process as an adult.
When attempting to do any independent research into the matter, all signs point to the doctor's POV. Thank goodness for social media groups and the relief that can be found in connecting with others who have actually experienced an episode. When less than 8% of the population ever has, it can be hard to find people who can relate in your local area. I'm just a little disappointed that the popular narrative on S.P. appears to be so close-minded.
We can all agree that science is extremely important in understanding everything in life and how it works. However, in the pursuit of science we tend to lose sight of the spiritual aspect of it all. We are led to believe that science and spirituality don't play well together, but how can one successfully work without the other? Researching into their historical entanglement leads to some fascinating finds. I believe sleep paralysis is a prime example of the 2 worlds interacting, perhaps there is more to explore here. If only we could let go of the primitive seeing-is-believing mindset. With more and more truths coming out everyday, it's evident that we are on a path to a higher understanding of our universe and our rightful place amidst it all. I can't wait to see what tomorrow reveals.
If you made it this far I want you to know I appreciate you time and mind space. Please feel free to leave a comment.
I especially want to hear from anyone who has experienced S.P.
Let me know how you've dealt with it in the past.
I'm grateful for any insight that you may have.
Thanks again,
-♥Kay