So the other day, @snook made one of her original videos in her own very original way which had a title that made be remember something that literelly made me laugh so hard I nearly fell of my couch.
No, exaggeration, I ended up leaning over in my couch and couldn't get my breath back, because the more the flash back of something that happened to me years ago, just kept me laughing and laughing.
Yet, I hadn't even watched the video yet.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Is probably what you are thinking right now.
Well, you see, my then Fiance who is now my lovely wife @sylviamiller and I were like any freshly hooked up couple, still learning things about each other and many of you know how there are always those little funny things and moments that happen in that part of a relationship. Most of which are actually a good old laugh when looking back at them.
To help give a time frame of when this happened, it was over 21 years ago!
Anyways, to get into the story of a real life event which is almost good enough to be in a movie, so I think.
It was early 1997, the war in this part of the world had not been over very long ago, so to say. So in a guys car all sorts of things could be found.
I don't care how much a car was cleaned out, there were things in there that would now be anywhere near a car, let alone in a car. But that is the way it was. Anything from mags, to rounds, to all sorts of crap tbh. If that helps paint a picture of how things were.
Now, I am not one to go and clean my car out every week, which you may have picked up on.
Enough of that, back to the story.
We were out fishing, my fiance, her sister, her brother in law (sisters husband) and yours truly.
Sure enough, someone, I think Sylvia scratched herself or something on something and needed a bandaid.
So I said, yeah, go to the boot (trunk) of my car and find my "First AID" kit.
So she did!
Now, this is where I need to explain something, my "First Aid" kit was not a typical "First Aid" kit. Definitely not the type you find in the stores. Meaning, I loaded it up with all sorts of things for a situation in which I may find myself, one of which was lets say, "Shit hits the fan and I have to dump the car and go on foot to safety". Remember, this was an ex war zone, there were still renegade partisans in the fkn woods in places. Sure it was all "safe" but look, this "First AID" kit wasn't packed in 1997, it was packed much earlier.
So you get the idea of how when you unlatch the plastic latches on it, the lid literally pops up because it is overfilled.
So sylvia walked on over to the car, while I'm sitting next to the water watching my floats, I had a potential bite, so I was totally concentrating on the fishing and not on anything else.
When moments later I hear Sylvia say in some really unusual tone of voice "What are these doing here?"
& ma response, without even turning my head was "Whaaat?"
I hear her sister and my future brother in law laughing and I figured something wasn't right, so I turned my head and there was Sylvia standing holding a row of condoms in her hand.
Me, being me and having the tact of a bulldozer answered,
"What do you think they are for?"
Only after I said it, did I realize what I had said and what it sounded like.
The laughter began and man was I coppin it, ohhh man.
My brother in law a former border guard/ Cop, tried to explain to Sylvia that they can be used for other things too.
Nope, there was no stopping the harassment. Even I was laughing.
So I gave her some basic reasons for them being there, like "makeshift glove, potential water bottle, to cover the muzzle of my rifle...." and idk what else I said.
I may have even said how it can be used to protect a 1st degree chemical burn after opening up your radiator cap, idk, it was too long ago.
Whatever, but nothing I said helped.
As you can probably imagine.
What did save me was the fact that she then went looking for the bandaids in my "FIRST AID" kit.
She found a book of matches, all wrapped up and enclosed in a small plastic bag, she found superglue, she found electric tape, she found a knife, idk what all she found. She found what to me was a fully equipped FIRST AID KIT in case I needed it, no matter what the situation.
This kinda calmed things down and man, I was still coppin all the shit from my future sister and brother inlaw.
btw. My brother in law has passed away since then, so may he RIP.
So, now that you have the background to why I am writing this post about a REAL FIRST AID KIT, I am sure that you can understand WHY it took me a few days to do it.
Why it wasn't just a comment on @snook 's post. I mean seriously, if I went into describing all the looks on the faces, especially after I replied with "What do you think they are for?"
So here goes:
Apart from the usual stuff you get in a "regular MEDICAL First Aid Kit" which is solely for the purposes of having "First Aid" in case of any minor first aid situation, the following can be packed into that same box, which is literally half empty:
Condoms.
Yes, I'm gonna hit on this one first.
Imagine your car overheats, you pull over to the side of the road, open your bonnet (hood) and 'instinctively' (stupidly) go to take the radiator cap off.
When all of a sudden, a volcano of boiling hot water with coolant (poison) splashes out all over your hand.
Not a pretty thought is it.
Well, that is a 1st degree chemical burn.
Sure, you need to wash it off, flush out/off the poisons and protect your hand from any possible infection.
To do this, you need something that is 100% hygienic, literally sanitary, meaning that it in itself can't cause an infection to the burned flesh.
Perfect product for this is a condom.
Need something to tie the end up so as not to allow any potential contaminant entering the end which is up obove the burned area?
Guess what. Another condom. Just use it as an elastic string, band. Simply wrap around and tie a knot.
Well, see, that can be applicable to anyone!
I'm just saying.
Need more, here are some other uses for condoms that many people don't think about.
excellent water bottle if needed. (PS. trick is to put the condom full of water into a sock, so that it doesn't go bursting on you like a water balloon while escaping through bushland).
Store food in, while lost in the bushes. (think about it, there is no fridge out there to keep your tucker/food clean and safe)
to store tinder in, and also being rubber it can burn easy, adding to the fuel along with the tinder to start a fire, no matter how snowy/wet it is outside!
as a muzzle protector on your rifle. (maybe not an everyday need, but yes, it is PERFECT).
Basically, if you have things that need to be kept dry, such as a mobile phone, a cheap lighter, matches etc etc etc.
PERFECT SOLUTION.
You know what, I can't write about condoms anymore, I'm laughing too hard, because I know that most of you are thinking "Yeah Right" or coughing up the words "bullshit", so here is a video about it all and from what I see he did it in a cool way:
I think I've covered the condom usages enough here, although, no matter what logic applies and what uses are there, it didn't save the day for me in the situation I was in that I described earlier!
What else should be in a RELIABLE MULTIPURPOSE "FIRST AID KIT".
I'll add a few things here that I had back then,
A book of matches, wrapped up in food wrap and then put into a small resealable plastic bag.
Black electric tape.
A good sturdy and damn sharp knife.
& a small very basic "Swiss army knife" type of multitool. Best is a Gerber or Leatherman multitool.
Half a dozen safety pins
Mini sewing kit
One of those wire wood saws.
idk how to describe it to anyone, so I figured I'll find a picture on the net, here it is:
For those thinking "WTF?", here, this is how it works:
- a pack of razors
(Note, they take up almost bugger all space, but may be needed and used for all sorts of things)
a small plastic compass
a HB pencil
a notepad (in a plastic bag)
paracord
OHHHHH and this is what you will absolutely love:
- TAMPONS AND RAGS/PADS
Bloody situations require HEAVY DUTY gear!
idk, can't remember what else I had all in there, but what ever it was, it sure didn't save the day for me.
I was getting it left, right and centre.
So there you have it, a story from back "many moons ago" which went playing though my mind as if it happened yesterday all thanks to a video by @snook.
So yeah, #snookmademedoit
Here is her post, so that you can see first hand what I am talking about:
What's in your Spouses Vehicle?
Hope you enjoyed this little real life story/event and that you too may turn your "Medical" First AID kit into a MULTIPURPOSE FIRST AID KIT, but remember:
Make sure your better half knows why the condoms are there!
STEEM ON!
