The Gay Marriage Threat
Company loyalty is dead. Supposedly in Japan it is still alive, I do not know myself, I have never worked for the Japanese. But decades ago the media informed us that corporate loyalty is dead. Without providing evidence that companies ever were loyalty the media instructed us the companies will let go of employees the second they can save one penny from doing so. And that is exactly what they do. The second your salary is more than your production you are gone. This is the way of the world. And it goes both ways, the second another company offers you a higher salary you will leave, it is the way of the world. Employment lasts as long as it is the best offer for both sides. The second one side finds a better offer the arrangement is over. This is the way of the world.
But there are benefits. Healthy companies produce a healthy economy, sick companies produce a sick economy. There are costs but there are benefits too. Ruthless downsizing keeps companies efficient strengthening the overall economy. A stronger economy means more opportunities and the freedom to quickly change employers means you can easily take advantage of those opportunities. If a rapidly growing company is overpaying for your specialty to keep up with growth why shouldn’t you jump ship? Because your current employer would leave you if they could benefit. So leave them first and join that rapidly growing company. And after their growth cools join another one, and another one. A healthy economy generates these opportunities and flexible hiring allows you to take advantage of them. It’s true that if your company loses sales they will let employees go. But would you want to stay with a company with shrinking sales? Instead go to their competitor, the company that is making their sales shrink through competition. Switch to the stronger competitor, the growing sales volume will create better opportunities for advancement. Don’t feel bad about jumping ship if you land on your feet in a better situation.
It can be stressful to make so many changes but it can be exhilarating as well. And at each company you go to you learn something new. After three years anywhere you already learned all they have to teach anyway, going someplace new expands your skill set. And your skill set is what matters. You got hired because your skill set was valuable, you will get fired the second your skill set is valueless. You don’t have a job, you have a career, and that career is built around your skill set. Each new opportunity is a new opportunity to learn new skills and that means an even better job three years from now when you leave. It’s okay to jump ship when you land on your feet. And at your next job you bring all the skills you learned from every employer you’ve had. Your skill set is your real asset. What counts on the job market isn’t years with the company, it is years spent learning. You are hired and fired on your skill set, not on your years of service or loyalty or devotion to the company. The company isn’t devoted to you, isn’t loyal to you, isn’t priding itself on years of continual employment provided for you. The company is comparing the worth of your skill set to the worth of the skill set of the last person to send them a resume. If the last person to send them a resume has a better skill set you are gone. But don’t worry, you will land on your feet. And at your next job you will learn even more and your learning is what you are really selling and the more learning you have to sell the higher the price. Job hopping can be stressful, moving to a new city to chase down an opportunity can be expensive, but it’s worth it. Because job hopping can also be exhilarating, moving to new city can lead to a higher paying job you could ever get at your old home. There is no loyalty in the modern economy, the company isn’t loyal to you, but you are always keeping your eyes open too. And there is nothing wrong with jumping ship if you land on your feet. This is the economy.
This is the new economy. If you don’t believe it your are in trouble because the truth is that which has power over you even when not believed. This is the new economy and it does have power over you. I hope you have a good skill set otherwise the new economy is going to be the old poorhouse. But if you have the right skills the new economy can be great for you, if you have the right skills you wouldn’t want to be stuck at one company for life. This is the world we live in, this is the world we are correctly told to adapt to and we should make this adaptation. But there is a problem. Work is only have of life. Work pays for the house but work won’t turn the house into a home. There is a problem when people take the idea of a career and apply it to relationships, there is a problem when people think a relationship has anything in common with a job, there is a problem when people use the Career Model for anything besides careers. There is a problem when people use it to find love.
The Career Model is the dominant theme of today’s American society. It’s okay to jump ship if you land on your feet. It’s okay to keep an eye out for a better opportunity, don’t fear change because with each change you learn something new and it is your skill set that you are selling, not your years of service, loyalty, or devotion. Except none of this works with relationships. None of this can work with relationships. The Career Model being applied to relationships is a recipe for turning a home into a house and a relationship into a job. It is ruining our relationships and taking happiness out of the world. The problem is always the same, each time you fall in love you fall less than the time before. The poets are dead, now relationships are about geometry and intersecting lines and distance from the axis. The pill came out in 1960 and our minds have not adjusted, our culture has not adapted, our society has not reacted. We are using old ideas in a new world and they don’t work. Each time you fall in love you fall less. We did not have to talk about this in the time of poets, the poets are dead, the pill killed them. Now we have to talk about how each time you fall you fall less. Because birth control changed everything except human nature.
The Career Model doesn’t work because you can’t relationship hop the way you job hop. With each new job you learn something new and your skill set is what you are selling. With each new relationship you use up more of your Romantic Connection Potential and it is your heart that you are offering. The most important thing you are offering to a partner is the ability convert Romantic Connection Potential into Romantic Connection to that partner. A skill set grows with time and experience. Romantic Connection Potential shrinks with time and experience. When you relationship hop you are spending a finite resource, each time you have less to offer. With job hopping each time you have more because your skill set expanded. With relationship hopping each time you have less because it is the ability to join with another and take in their emotions that you are selling. This is not a skill set it is a diminishing resource with no resupply possible. With each relationship a part of your heart stays with the old partner, with each relationship you have less of your heart to offer the next partner. The Career Model does not work for anything besides careers. Using it for relationships will turn homes into houses. It will turn relationships into jobs. It won’t turn relationships into careers because you won’t keep moving up a ladder. You will be sliding down a chute.
What makes a relationship special is the special connection and the potential for that keeps shrinking each time someone jumps ship. For a career have ten employers over thirty years. Because after three years you’ve learned everything you can learn at that stop. So keep moving, keep expanding your skill set because that is what you are offering. With a relationship you are offering the conversion of Romantic Connection Potential into Romantic Connection. The best strategy is to convert all of this potential one time. The geometry says so, and the poets are dead. Birth control changed everything but human nature. We cannot avoid that each time you fall you fall less. This is human nature, it is truth and the truth has power over you even if you don’t believe it. Human nature has power over you and this power cannot be ignored, it can only be understood. The Career Model is the best strategy for a rewarding work life, but it will turn your home into a house. Only love can make a building into something more than material, only love can turn a house into a home. Leave the Career Model at work, or work will never leave you.