Having just returned from an amazing coaching retreat in Florida, I wanted to share with all of you the insights discussed on why having a coach is important if you want to be successful in your business and your life. We all like to believe we’re capable of running 100% of our existence by ourselves, yet it is painfully obvious that we don’t know what we don’t know. In other words, oftentimes we’re blind to our own barriers to success. And these barriers to our success oftentimes masquerade as logical-sounding reasons why we cannot accomplish what we’re fully capable of accomplishing.
The retreat I attended had dozens of high-level, powerful coaches present. Yet, we often caught each other in self-limiting beliefs. It was so helpful to have loving, smart, authentic people around me who held me accountable for what I said and did. For example, I shared my next set of 90 Day Goals with some of my colleagues and then promptly engaged in behavior that was inconsistent with one of those goals. My loving, smart colleagues gently pointed this out to me and held the space for me while I figured out what was going on with that. In doing so, I was then able to tweak the goal so it fit me even better and release an old message around that goal that had derailed me into the inconsistent behavior.
So why is having a coach important?
Of tremendous value here is the fact that they were on the outside looking in, able to see what I couldn’t see, and then articulate it in a way that allowed me to see it and make the necessary changes. And I do the same for them. The vantage point of being outside of another’s inner system allows me to see much more clearly than they can where they are getting stuck or pulled off-track. The shift in perspective offered by those who support you is invaluable.
Another huge gift in the coaching process is accountability. Your coach expects you to “do what you say and say what you do”. How many of you have noticed that when you have a workout buddy, you are far more likely to show up at the gym? Making a commitment to do a certain thing at a certain time and knowing someone outside of ourselves is expecting us to follow through increases our success in doing so.
Sometimes people will tell me that they can be accountable to themselves. While that’s a lovely thought, most of us are less than stellar at keeping our word with ourselves and tend to fare better when we give our word to someone else.
So why is it we do so much better when someone else, perhaps a coach, is involved? As my coach, Shelley Riutta, has said many times, “It takes a village to deal with our Conditioned Self”. By that she means the part of us that developed to protect us, typically in childhood, from judgment, hurt, and shame. Unfortunately that Conditioned Self part of us still functions in a child-like capacity so its skills at taking care of us are very limited, and often unproductive. Our Conditioned Self is reactive, fear-driven, worried, anxious, feels heavy and burdened, contracting, negative, distorted in its views, and trapped in a victim stance. Clearly you can see how this is not conducive to success either personally or professionally!
On the other hand, our coaches and mentors hold us to a different standard. They support us operating from our Authentic Self. Signs that you are in your Authentic Self include coming from faith vs fear, taking positive action, reaching out for support from loving others, expansive thinking, feeling empowered and self-loving, breathing fully, and feeling energetically light. Again, clearly this is a much more productive way to stay on track with goals, ultimately leading to success in your business and your life.
If some of this sounds painfully familiar to you and you’re interested in learning more about what coaching has to offer you, contact me for a FREE 15-minute consultation at bonnie@empowermentandpurpose.com.
To your SUCCESS!