Resistance is a topic - especially on the spiritual path - that should be on the top of our „watchlist“ our whole life.
The reason for this is, because it works very subtle in the background of our psyche and is sabotaging each and every move.
If we are not aware of it, it will influence each and every steps on our way - doesn’t matter, how long and intense our spiritual journey has already been.
It’s also the Egos first line of defense against Truth and the way to tackle it, is through honesty.
First and foremost, we have to become honest with ourselves about what we want and what we fear the most - in many cases, it is the same thing, which makes it even trickier.
Most will read the title of this article „Resistance is futile“ in a way like „You shouldn’t resist!“, but it’s not meant this way.
Instead I want to make you aware, what resistance really is and what’s its purpose is inside our Egos thought system. It has a purpose and it’s exactly this purpose, that makes it a futile endeavor.
Resistance at it’s core is to want something and fear it at the same time. It’s the best way, the Ego can up with - and it’s a genius move — to always keep seeking and never find, and at the same time trying to not feel guilty for failing to reach the goal of waking up from the dream we call life.
The fear of awakening to Truth - to the Oneness of God - is covered up by our proclamation, that we truly want to wake up, but something (God, other people, our life situation etc) is preventing us to do so.
We overlook our deep fears of becoming One with God, and our Ego will do anything to keep this fact hidden from our awareness.
Why we are choosing the Egos dream for a reason
You are so used to choosing among dreams you do not see that you have made, at last, the choice between the truth and all illusions (T-18.II.8).
We always have a choice and we choose all the time. To be honest with ourselves means, that we have first to be aware that we are dreaming and we have already decided to do so.
A dream is not something bad or wrong, but it’s also not good either - it is nothing by itself.
To wake up from the dream is easier said then done. Simply for the fact, that all we know is part of the dream itself. So even if we have studied many spiritual traditions from all around the world, and we know everything about the world being a dream and how to wake up, as well as practice sincerely day by day, we still can’t unite with the Divine, as long as we fear this very unification.
So the first step to face our resistance is the recognition, that we have already chosen for the Ego and his dreamworld and we are deciding for it each and every moment anew.
One reason why we choose the Ego’s dream over the Truth of God is simply, that we fear this merging back to Oneness and we want to keep our specialness instead.
(As a quick remark: There are also other factors in play, like the attraction of the body and the fear/attraction of death etc.)
Intermediate Step: Gentle Dreaming
However, we are counseled in A Course in Miracles not to skip steps, for to leap from the nightmare dreams of our individuality directly into the arms of Heaven, disappearing into the Heart of God, would be too panic-inducing for us to bear. One cannot jump from the wrong-mindedness of existence to the One-mindedness of Being without feeling overwhelmed by the terror of annihilation. And so we need the intervening steps of non-threatening and forgiving dreams to lead us softly from our sleep into our waking state. It is the function of the Holy Spirit’s happy dreams of correction to provide that gentle guidance.
From: The Happy Dreams of the Holy Spirit: Awakening to Eternity
It’s important to know, that what is called a „happy dream“ in ACIM is still a dream, but as written in the quote above, it is necessary because without this gentle transition, our resistance against Truth would be enormous.
For me personally, I thought for most of my (spiritual) life, that the jump from dreaming to awakening has to happen directly, because I had an awakening experience very early in my life, that seemed to prove this fact.
The result of this was a huge resistance against the awakening I so dearly wanted, that was based on fear of above said annihilation.
I was not directly aware of this fear though, but experienced it as panic attacks and the fear of death.
In a way, our pictures of „death“ and „enlightenment“ are very similar.
Both are the end of being special and a symbol for the merging back into Oneness and therefore loosing our individuality.
The good news (for the Ego) is, that this transition can happen in a gentle way, through forgiving, which is the end of attack thoughts.
We also learn in the Course, that „the world is made as an attack on God“ - in other words: the world as a whole is the proof, that we still believe in separation and we resist Truth.
It can become our classroom though, where we become aware, how big our resistance to Truth/God really is.
How resistance ends
Resistance does nothing in the end. It is futile, because it doesn’t actually do anything at all, but to cover up our fear of losing our specialness.
It seems to keep the Ego save and securely separated from the Divine Oneness, where there is no room for individuality.
It seems to hide our oneness with God, and the price tag it comes with is a constant struggle between your deepest wish to come home and the rejection of this home. It keeps you in the „seek and never find“ loop - one of the building blocks of the Ego.
Resistance can end gently, when we dare to be honest with ourselves and proclaim loud and clear in our most spiritual voice:
„I’m shitting my pants, because I’m scared to death to become one with the Divine! I am afraid to lose my individuality! I don’t want to die!“
This way, resistance comes from the dark alley of our subconscious to the forefront of our conscious experience.
This is all we have to do. We don’t have to end resistance, because wanting to end it would mean, that we resist resistance.
Instead we gently but honestly face our deepest fear, that is at the same time our deepest wish: to come home to the Oneness of our Being.
Honesty is how resistance ends and how Truth begins to shine.
Love and Blessings,
Atmos