In Open Participatory Spirituality (OPS) we know that others are mostly, or maybe even always, participating in reality the best way they know how. We may shake our head, thinking, "What a way to participate!" seeing the inconsistencies, knowing them to take things for real that we ourselves are sure aren't, taking things for granted they've never really questioned, having no regard for the consequences of what they stand for, and so on. But we nevertheless know with heart-sighted clarity that their way of participating in life at this moment is valid and sound in their own view.
This is not just saying that everything is relative, and therefor they "are entitled to their view". It's also not saying that there is some kind of ultimate truth that I know, and that therefor "I let them play their own game, knowing my own is much more sophisticated." It is not reducing their view by analysis, reducing it to some lower level of development. There's no judgement at all in regarding others as "a humanimal participating in reality" usually in the best way they know how. It is simply knowing that I'm not neutral or just a witness but rather that I myself am participating in this situation just like them, and just like them in the best way I know how. And I choose to participate by wondering, "How would it be to participate in reality like he/she/they do right now?" It makes my life so much more interesting!
I've noticed that when I do this even if very weakly the conversation becomes much juicier. The whole battle that most men like me are continually engaged in to some extent or other for being right, for being heard, for being treated fairly, and so on is pacified. Conversations are not about that anymore. They are about what's real for everyone involved, about what is important, funny, joyful, interesting, and so on. They more often then not become about what we make of things. And they become respectful and friendly.
I have been having conversations with an American here in Chiang Mai that would be generally thought of as an alt-right kind of person. For instance, he's been remarking on how government is full of morons, that "blacks kill each other and are dangerous to police so they act accordingly," that "white people have been abused by liberals," and so on. Yet, consistently coming from the view that that is his way of participating and that it is really sound in his eyes he's remarked a few times recently, "you have some pretty interesting ideas there; haven't thought of those before!" and then he'll usually fall back to some of the things he takes for granted, like that there is an islamic invasion going on, or that "ordinary people are paying for the money that's been thrown at immigrants by bundels," and similar things.
That really doesn't matter, I think. What does matter is that he's now thinking that liberal ideas are not just balderdash of some do-gooder idiots but that "we" are just as much rattled by the transformations our societies are going through as his kind of people. That we are struggling with the same phenomena - and I have NOT said that. It has become clear because several times we've looked at how the solutions could look like, and we could look at that because I asked him if, for instance, a wall on the border to Mexico would actually be a solution, and by taking his answers seriously and just exploring some more.
These conversations are some of the most extreme testing grounds I can think of to test the ideas I'm forming around what OPS is, and what a "participatory view" of reality and self generates. And so far it has been pretty good, better than all other previous views and ways of being I've explored in my life so far. The proof of the pudding, say the English, is in the eating. As a beginning "journeyman" on this path I now practice my craft wherever I go. This is what OPS is all about: apprentice what the participatory way of life is, and once you've done that for a sufficient amount of time, when you feel comfortable with it and it has become habitual then as journey(wo)man contribute your very self to the participatory transformation that is under way.