― Khaled Hosseini
It was a break form police work being with Clare at the Chinese restaurant eating dinner and it occurred to me I felt content—and I hadn’t felt that way in a long time.
It was a strange feeling because it felt as if I were remote from my body watching the two of us chatting amiably, enjoying being with each other.
Usually when I’m with a woman as beautiful as Clare I feel self-conscious and hyper aware, but with her I felt totally accepted and free to be myself.
Out of the blue she asked me, “So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
I realized it was the long weekend and of course I had nothing planned.
“Nothing,” I replied, “I hadn’t really given it much thought.”
“Lea and I always get together for dinner and this year Cyril’s joining us. Would you like to come as well?”
Seeing as Lea was my new landlady, I had to be discreet.
“Sure, that sounds wonderful. Where are you having the dinner?”
“It’s at my place. I’ll text you the directions. We only work a half-day tomorrow so show up around 3 pm.”
“I’ll be there. I’ll finally get a chance to meet your friend.”
“Her husband, Tom, will also be there and I want to warn you—he’s very jealous.”
I’ll take that under advisement,” I laughed.
It never dawned on me until that moment that Clare might have seen me as a player—I thought all the teasing about Prince Charming was just a joke. It made me wonder how others in the detachment viewed me and if somehow that influenced the office gossip she heard.
Regardless of what rumours were being spread I was definitely not a ladies man. I had no respect for philanderers and the type of man who would cheat and have affairs
It was curious though how impressions get formed and once they were whispered they seem to take on a life of their own. But I learned long ago that protesting too much only gave them oxygen and I had no intention of breathing those embers into life.
We spent another tedious morning cooped up in the detachment office running down leads and crossing names off the list.
Clare’s estimate of the number of perps being in the hundreds dispirited me but it was necessary work although more akin to looking under rocks and rummaging through dirty laundry as we reviewed PR files and disciplinary offences.
Who knew so many officers had checkered backgrounds or less than stellar reputations? It’s amazing the flaws a dress uniform can cover.
We quit at noon and Clare left to meet up with Lea and I went home to unwind and shower and change before driving out to her house in the country. It seemed strange that she’d live alone in a rural area but I suppose it suited her.
It was weird though, but I put it out of my mind.
As I drove to my loft I noticed I was constantly checking my rear view mirror. My senses were still on high alert and that told me danger was near.
But I arrived home without incident and smiled at my overly cautious fears. Still, the feeling didn’t leave me and that alone stopped me from dismissing what my gut was telling me. I wasn’t out of the woods by any means.
There was a sniper out there with a bullet meant for me.
Just before 3 pm I turned down the rural route Clare texted me and kept an eye out for mailboxes and finally spotted the one marked, Logan.
I was surprised to see a lane leading up to a beautiful farmhouse surrounded by a stand of crimson Maples.
It looked like a poster for Country Living. I had no idea how she could manage such a property.
As I got out of the SUV a Golden Retriever dog came out of the house and greeted me.
“Maggie—sit!” A female voice commanded and I saw Clare coming toward me. “She’s such hussy—she loves men.”
“That’s not such a bad thing, is it?” I teased.
She rolled her eyes and I wisely decided to back off.
”How do you manage such a large property?” I asked as we walked up to the house.
“I let a neighbour farm the fields and in turn he trims all the lawns and plows the road in winter. I get a lot of free produce. It all works out.”
“You certainly have your privacy.”
“You’d be surprised—it’s a tight community. I inherited the house from my parents and couldn’t part with it. But the neighbours help out. Logans have lived here over a hundred years so we’re part of the land, I suppose.”
Inside the house Cyril was already seated before the fire with a glass of wine and waved to me while Lea and Tom had just come in from the kitchen. Lea was as beautiful as Clare, and Tom her husband looked familiar.
Clare made the introductions and we shook hands.
“Do I know you?” I asked Tom.
He smiled. “I was the techie setting up all your computers working for the force back in the day. I think we were both rookies back then.”
I nodded, recalling the move from the old cramped precinct building into the new headquarters. Tom was indispensable to making the transition work.
”Come on and join Cyril by the fire,” Clare encouraged, “and tell me what you want to drink.”
“I brought a bottle of cab sav," I said, handing Clare the gift bag.
“Thank you,” she smiled, “Yellow Tail, my favourite!”
“Well played,” Tom winked, as he sat down beside me on the couch.
“Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes,” Lea announced, “Sorry, I should have waited but I never cooked such a big turkey and guess we’re a bit early.”
“It smells delicious,” I told her. “It’s been a long time since I had a home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner.”
As I said it, I felt my throat tighten as I thought of my parents and how much I missed them. They never got to meet Sarah and I knew they’d love Clare.
I caught myself in mid-thought. What am I thinking? I just met this girl and already my imagination is working overtime.
Clare noticed the catch in my throat when I mentioned my parents and instinctively came to my side and sat close to me. It was reassuring but also made it harder for me because of what I had just been feeling.
I didn’t want to get my hopes up or move too fast. I wasn’t even sure if this is what I wanted because I still felt committed to Sarah.
And that was the problem. I wasn’t sure of anything... most of all, my feelings....
And I wasn't sure I wanted to explore this uncharted territory.