not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it pass. Let go.
― May Sarton
It was cleansing being out in the woods with Clare, inhaling the fresh air. I felt as if I were absorbing tints of multi-coloured leaves that seemed to pass through my skin and stain my very soul.
Trees have always been a source of healing for me and being alone in the woods for me was the same as being in a great cathedral, allowing the silence to overwhelm me...
Yeah, a green cathedral that now had mellowed into Autumn reds and golds as lovely as Clare's hair.
The fact I was here with her sharing this sanctuary showed me I could not only converse with her but also be comfortable being silent.
It was then I realized why the word content came to mind whenever I was with her.
It was early autumn and it was my beginning in this coloured world that overpowered my senses.
"It's a crisp afternoon," she said, "how about we go inside and sip a hot chocolate before the fire?"
"Sounds wonderful, I enthused. "My parents used to have a great fireplace and we'd gather around it on occasions like this― both Thanksgiving and Christmas."
"Do you still own that house?" she asked.
I shook my head. "After they passed I couldn't bear being alone in that house. I haven't really put down roots since."
She gently touched my arm to console me. "I'm sorry, I know you miss them. It must be hard around holidays."
"It is, but I'm glad you invited me today. I didn't realize how solitary I had become. It was good for me to be here."
And then, suddenly she was in my arms and we were kissing, a long, lingering kiss that seemed to draw my soul right out of me.
Our sweet embrace was interrupted, however, when Maggie, Clare's Golden Retriever, decided this should be a family hug and jumped up and began licking our faces. We both burst out laughing and ended the kiss with the three of us hugging.
"Guess Maggie's accepted you," Clare giggled, "she's friendly but she's never been that affectionate with anybody other than me."
"I'll take that as a good sign," I smiled.
She nodded and looked at me with huge dark eyes. "I think you can safely say that."
We walked hand in hand back to the house, my hand completely encircling hers and It just felt so right.
"We better be careful not to do this around Cyril," she cautioned.
"Do what―kiss or hold hands?"
"Funny, Prince Charming," she laughed, but then her expression went serious, "to tell the truth, I think he already knows. That's what Lea thinks too,"
"Are we that obvious?"
"Apparently," she smiled mischievously, as my stomach did a flip. I realized we had passed a threshold where we were no longer simply partners or friends―we were a couple.
I liked the thought of that, aside from the obvious concerns about pursuing a killer.
And yet, for a brief, golden afternoon all thoughts of danger were banished.