I just blocked another man on facebook. He sent me a friend request, so I obliged, and one minute later I get a video call and a lewd message from him.
This has become so common for me and many other women on social media. I sometimes just deny the friend request if I don't know the person, and sometimes I accept - I have no specific reason except the mood I am in at the time, or the vibe I get from the picture.
Except in Steemit chat, there is no way to send a private message on Steemit, at least not that I know of! At first I kind of wanted this, maybe in a way I still do because there are practical purposes for it, but still, it led me to a realization.
There are certain things individuals will do in private, behind the veil of secrecy where they know no one else will see their actions and words, that they would not do in public. Why is this? Why do people change, or do they allow certain parts of themselves to come out when they know no one else will see but their 'victim', so to speak.
Personally I do not feel like a victim in this scenario, because I do not go into the interaction from that starting point. Often, if I have time, I will engage. I will engage in such a way where I will turn the situation around and show the person what they are doing. Once, I pretended I was a man with a woman's profile, and the 'aggressor' changed his tune, and we had a good talk, man-to-man, about how to treat a woman!
Unfortunately, many women, or even children, do get sucked into unfortunate situations that can have very real-life consequences. Then they become victims for real in various ways, even if they never meet in person. It can include blackmail and reputational damages, among other things.
One thing secrecy and anonymity show us is the dark side of many seemingly normal people. But what if the global culture involved a principle of transparency? What if we exposed the dark mind of humanity and made it public for all to see? What if you lost your ability to act in secrecy, or if all of your secret massages were somehow revealed?
If you look back at your secret or anonymous online behaviour, is there anything thing that, if revealed, you would be ashamed of? Would ruin your reputation in your social circles, with your family, or in the work environment? What about all the thoughts that pass through your mind, what if those were also revealed?
I think that there will have been many regrettable things said or thought that most people would want to take back and erase. This is a cool personal litmus test each one can do next time we act in secrecy, where we would ask ourselves whether we would speak the same words, or think the same thoughts if those words and thoughts were public and transparent instead of hidden, secret and/or anonymous.
Why, you might ask? Because it matters a great deal what kind of person each one of us accepts and allows ourselves to be both in the secrecy of our own minds, as well as in the hidden spaces online. If we are a humanity that presents one face to the public, but another in secret, then our world will continue to be a place of deception and corruption.
You know the old adage, "be the change you want to see"? Well, here is the perfect opportunity! If we are pissed off by corruption, lies and deceit at any level, we can take the point back to ourselves and do the litmus test above. If there is any movement inside of us at the thought of all our secret interactions or thoughts being made public, then it only proves we are no better than those we condemn, and that there is a change that need to be made.
If we truly want a humanity of integrity, trust and respect for one-another, then it starts at an individual level. This stuff is powerful, yet dangerous. Powerful because it can change the world, dangerous because in our current reality of hidden, secret spaces, there is only self-accountability. Will each person come to the realization that what they accept and allow to exist within them, will always exist in the world if it is not changed at an individual level?
This is why I think it's cool that Steemit is a transparent platform. Until we can trust one-another to take self-responsibility for our thoughts, words and deeds at an individual level, we cannot be trusted that we will not abuse others under the veils currently available to us.
So, where do you stand? Would you push for a global culture of transparency, or would you rather defend and protect your ability to act in secret? If your answer is the latter, then ask yourself, what exactly are you defending it for? What do you have to hide? Who Are You when you are accountable to no one but yourself? And then lastly, of the public and the hidden, which version of you is the REAL you?
Comment below and let's discuss!
