Waiting for a whale to upvote one of your posts? You’re not alone. People are finding value in all kinds of droppings. So drop in, take a load off, and perhaps you’ll learn a small shitload from this short article.
By Richard Kaplan, @steemship
Note: Thanks to Tom, @donkeypong for sending me a link on whale poop. I never knew it was valuable until reading about this stuff. Amazing.
If you're waiting for a whale to upvote one of your posts, you're not the only one searching for nuggets of gold. While we’re mining for votes here on Steemit, beachcombers are combing the coastlines of the world in search of ambergris, a waxy substance produced in the digestive system of sperm whales. And people on land are lining up to get PAID for scooping up dog poop. Then there’s manure which, of course, has incalculable value as fertilizer for the world’s crops.
It seems that poop can be pretty valuable stuff. So if you’re thinking, “Whales, drop some of that golden shit my way,” you’re in good company. Whether it’s a real-life whale’s deposit or it’s a virtual drop from someone with large Steem Power holdings (they are commonly known as “whales” on Steemit and have the power to allocate sizable payouts via their voting), you should follow the same advice: don’t flush.
Whale poop worth $100,000 per kilogram ($45,000 per pound)?
Ambergris is found in sperm whale poop. And sometimes in whale vomit, too. It is highly prized by the perfume industry, used only in the world’s finest fragrance concoctions. The original Chanel No. 5, the world's most famous perfume, used ambergris. "It's beyond comprehension how beautiful it is," says a perfumer quoted in a Bloomberg article about ambergris (link at end of article). "It reflects light with its smell. It's an olfactory gemstone."
The perfume site Fragrantica interviewed one of the world’s foremost experts, Adrienne Beuse of Amergris New Zealand Ltd., to get her take on the quality and fragrance of good ambergris (source link at end of article):
The word "ambergris" is used to denote all grades of the product; there is a wide variation in the quality of ambergris and the subsequent odor. The lowest quality ambergris is soft in texture and black in colour and typically has a strong "manure" odor. The fragrance would give the impression of being in a stable before it has been cleaned out. Many people would find this odor offensive. On the other hand, very high-quality pieces can have a very light, subtle and sweet odor which would be hardly noticeable, if you were to hold the raw piece directly to your nose…
The blend of notes in a given piece can provide a pleasing response and even evoke a pleasant memory or association for one person. For another, the same complex notes may bring a less pleasing result and evoke an unpleasant memory or sensation. An example would be where a piece had an earthy, mossy fragrance. This type of profile may appeal to someone who finds the odor of the damp forest floor after rain to be appealing but may signify simply an odor of "freshly turned soil" to another.
Now why does that remind me of a fine wine?
In its purest form, this aged whale shit can sell for $100,000 per kilogram ($45,000 per pound). Not bad for finding a lump of crud on the beach. Now do you see why people are combing coastlines? In fact, there is a select group of people who not only stroll along the shores. They actually monitor sperm whale populations, track ocean currents, and try to anticipate where the next lump will land. Of course, older whale poo is more valuable than the fresh stuff, so finding this grey amber is quite the challenge.
See this guy holding some in the picture below? His dog found it. But we'll get to dogs in the next part.
When you think about it, this is not so different from what we do here on Steemit. As we mine away for Steem Power and Steem Dollars, our fingers get most of the exercise. And that scrolling finger for the "New" post section? Damn, that thing aches like carpal tunnel. Thank heaven for the anti-spam bots and ratings system or my hand would fall off.
Writing, voting, and growing an online community is a tough job. Just another day chasing whales, right? If you’re ever in need of a career change, just remember: you could be a professional beach walker instead. Your dog wouldn't mind.
Mining Dog Poop: A Viral Sensation
Okay, you believed me on the whale poop part (it’s all true), but doggie doo? That stuff certainly is NOT valuable. At least it wasn’t valuable until last month.
Last month, the famous Pooper video debuted on YouTube. And it changed everything we ever knew or believed about dog poop. The economics of canine fecal matter will never be the same.
In case you haven’t seen it, here is the video:
Pretty neat, isn’t it? Unfortunately, the P2P Pooper App doesn’t really exist. It’s…how can we say it…bullshit. Or horseshit. It’s fake, made up. The team that created this video is not a team of developers; they consider themselves “artists”. They were mocking or calling attention to society’s fixation with using phone apps to solve all of our problems (even picking up the dog’s mess).
But the story doesn’t end there. Because something even stranger happened next.
The Pooper App’s website got a ton of sign-ups from people who were interested in using such a program. In other words, they don’t want to pick up their dog’s poop. They would rather pay someone else to do it. Apparently, whether there’s an app or not, there’s a real market for something like this.
And you know this coin has another side, right? It’s P2P, so there are two parties to every transaction. For everyone willing to pay, there’s someone ready to earn.
Of the people who signed up on the Pooper App website, 70% were hoping to make money from this. In exchange for a little money, they were willing to drive around, bike/scooter/hover around, or walk around picking up other peoples’ dogs’ poop.
This is sad. And funny. But if it’s unexpected at first, it becomes quite understandable, the more you think about it. A lot of people are desperate to make money. And picking up poop is a lot less smelly than some jobs I know.
Is there gold in dog poop? We don’t know, but it looks promising. If someone can come up with a business model and app, there just might be some value there. And to think we’ve been throwing it away all this time.
Manure is often called “black gold”. It is extremely valuable as fertilizer for the world’s crops.
We have all heard that manure is valuable as fertilizer. It contains nitrogen, phosphorus, potash, and a wide variety of lesser minerals and trace minerals and probiotic nutrients that plants need. Without manure, crops would not grow, and we would not have food to eat.
Guano from bats and seabirds is one of the more valuable kinds of manure. It may be aged and composted. It may even be fossilized. The stuff is worth enough that small wars have been fought over guano-rich islands.
J. Paul Getty, who was the richest man in the world in the early 1900s, once said, “Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells.”
I fully agree with that statement. And that’s why, as a small whale myself, I use many of my votes to reward people who are new to Steemit and have not made much money yet. I also use some votes to reward writers I know who are doing a good job, because I think they deserve some financial reward for the quality they bring to Steemit on a regular basis. But all of us have an ethical obligation to help the undiscovered posters make some money too.
Whales and dolphins, let’s keep spreading that shit around. I’m ready now. Look at that steeming pile. Someone please bring me a shovel before I get all emotional.
-Peace, Richard, @steemship
A few source links
Ambergris on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambergris
Ambergris value: http://www.livescience.com/26785-ambergris-sperm-whale.html
Finding ‘whale vomit’ (actually it’s more commonly passed as poop): http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/13/couple-find-rock-worth-50000-washed-up-on-beach-in-lancashire/
Pooper app: http://www.mnn.com/family/pets/blogs/fake-poop-scooper-app-shows-how-gullible-desperate-we-truly-are
Fragrantica: http://www.fragrantica.com/notes/Ambergris-524.html
Bloomberg: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2012-01-12/ambergris-treasure-of-the-deep