Mission Impossible - A father on a bargain hunt

Children are an expensive pleasure. We all know that. And so everyone is happy if he can do one or two bargains. That this is not always easy, tells the following story ...

Jogging suit, size 86/92, available in red / black or black / gray, CHEAP !!!

This was the advertisement in the advertising brochure of a large discounter, which my wife pushed into my hand on Sunday evening. "We should get that for our child! It's really cheap - and of good quality too! "She exclaimed enthusiastically from the kitchen. "Sure, why not?" I replied without looking up from the newspaper.

But now she became more concrete. "Can you get that tomorrow?"

Aha. So I. Is not it a phenomenon that women always say WE when they mean only us men ? Anyway, I agreed. I do everything for my children, so I agreed to come over on Monday morning.

"Not in the morning. You have to be there early. Otherwise, they are all gone. "She taught me in a tone that did not allow a contradiction. I tried it anyway and referred to the last page of the prospectus. It read that the goods should last for at least three days. "Trust me!" She replied casually and played with it the last trump in our partnership double head game.

A good man should also listen to his wife once. And that's especially true when the words "trust me!" Fall. So I set off the next morning - the wrong expression would certainly be in a good mood. I had no doubt about getting the jogging suit. Rather, I was worried about having to choose between the advertised color combinations and possibly make the wrong decision from the oversupply.

The arrival

To my surprise, I was not completely alone at this early hour. About 20 people, mostly women, stood in front of the entrance, strung like pearls on a string. Inexperienced in terms of bargain hunting, I did not turn on, but initially watched the hustle and bustle from the side.

At the front were the pros, equipped with huge shopping bags and even bigger trolleys. Behind, with a nervous look, the businesswoman. Handbag in the arm, mobile phone in hand and a steady view of the clock. Sure, the work is calling. I know that. I have enough to do now. Behind it ..., oh let's leave that ... In short, it was an illustrious cross section of the female population of Germany of childbearing age.

The snake grew and with it my concern to have already made a decisive mistake. I finally lined up behind and lost about 15 valuable starting places. My inner voice told me, "Go again! Give up, you've already lost! "But I'm a man. And no guy just gives up like that. Certainly not when he is traveling for the sake of his son.

Two minutes, a glance at the clock told me. I saw the triumphant looks of the people in the front, who looked around again and again. Haha, it was worth it that I've been here since midnight, they seemed to think. I did not see any tents or sleeping bags though.

The opening

Finally! The gates to the holy discount temple opened. The caravan is set in motion. Caravan? No, quite wrong, a caravan is slow - hunted buffalo herd is more appropriate. The big race for the special offers had begun.

Prompt, it came to dissolution phenomena in the once ordered series, including first position changes. Of course, the shopping trolleys in the entrance area were ignored. Only a well-dressed woman used this tool. From the corner of my eye I saw that. Great, a potential opponent less! Either she had no children or she was a bloody amateur on the bargain front.

Interestingly enough, it was exactly the people who were initially offside, but still in a good position to the entrance and loudly proclaimed that they would only bring fast bread, were suddenly found at the front. A perfect deception maneuver! THAT are the real bargain professionals! True to the motto: "Oh, look, today's also jogging suits ..." They are usually the first in the coveted place. But I digress - back to the storm on the special offers.

The good old Knigge along with his manners had served his time at this moment. Here is not the age and certainly not the beauty. It only counts: who is first?

Physical shortcomings were compensated by good local knowledge. It would not surprise me if some people worked out precise plans at home to explore the shortest way possible. However - it is actually completely unnecessary to know where the special offers are located. You are carried on the wave of greed and simply carried away in the stream of bargain hunters.

The people with a close combat training were clearly in the advantage. Because they were able to make up some places in this way and hurl some weaker in the fruit and vegetable department. I forgot my good education for a moment and did not help the young woman in front of me out of the tomatoes. I was still hoping and did not want to lose any more seats. Finally, I had a mission to fulfill.

The bargain stand

Strategically located in the back of the shop was the place of desire. I could not see him exactly, because a huge crowd of people was already besieging the state. Like a swarm of locusts - only a little more greedy and much more dangerous.
The first tore everything, but really everything, in itself. With an arm movement, all the greats were taken in, which were somehow tangible. Even those who had only one toddler own had at first the whole range of adolescents in hand. About half a minute lasted the spectacle.

"They're just like the lunatics here!", "Pointless!" And a whole series of other unprintable sentences were coming to my ears. The anger at the discounter mingled with the anger on the winners.
Nevertheless, there was one last chance: the return goods! Because no one needs ten jogging suits at once.
It was not long before the lucky winners saw the goods with a trained eye and sorted out useless sizes. Meanwhile, like the vultures, the losers were waiting for bargains. Well knowing: There are a few leftovers left!
Casual, thrown from less than two feet away, came the coveted pieces flown. They did not touch the shelf. No, already in the flight the leisure tricot days were intercepted and examined for usability. Again, physical robustness was again beneficial. Now only the law of the fittest counts. Who missed this last chance, for it was called: Rien ne va plus - Nothing works!

Of course, I had nothing to do with the outcome of the big race. Starting number 34 was too unfavorable starting point. Only a jogging suit (size 116/128) smiled at me after the dust had settled, still from the otherwise yawning empty goods carrier. Plus a tattered packaging.
It would probably have brought me only a call of a bomb alarm or the start of the local sprinkler system shortly before the opening of the store a little closer to my goal. Although, I'm sure I'm not there.

Operational withdrawal

It was followed by disappointed mobile phone calls of those who had gone out empty. Apparently with friends and relatives who were also operating in other branches.
I'm really mistaken, as Ware, which is supposed to last for at least three days, disappears in the first three minutes. The prospectuses should be clearly amended in this regard. In addition, perhaps the following note: Purchase at your own risk! Always wear protective clothing!

I was faced with a choice, angry, to have a defeat richer in life, to leave the shop or to keep my composure and not to let it show my disappointment. I decided on the second variant, grabbed a carton of milk and went to the cashier. And here it got really hot again.
Do you know the bullfighting in Pamplona? Where tourists and locals are pursued by bulls through narrow streets? This is probably not half as dangerous as the angry German housewife who rolls empty-handed, through a tiny cash register area, without the coveted Monday bargain.

And then I saw YOU: The woman who decided at the beginning as the only one for the shopping cart, just said goodbye to a saleswoman. I could not believe my eyes:
She had MY jogging suit in the shopping cart! Right size - right color.
Well, relationships are valuable in life, even at the discount store around the corner.

I looked at the lady with a mixture of admiration, but much more contempt. She had not taken the fight, but chose a sneaky way. Lousy snake! The woman ignored me, but was already browsing through the next prospectus. Probably to give up the next order.

When I got home, I told my wife about the incredible happenings - ready to work my traumatic experience together with her.
Although I've got the best wife and mother of all, she's not a good psychologist. Her dry comment was simply, "I did not expect it anyway." She smiled at me and said, "Well, now you have seen for yourself what I have to go through sometimes."
She was right. A "high!" On the moms who have to assert themselves daily in the urban jungle to get the best and sometimes the cheapest for their family.
"Next time I prefer to go myself again ..." she called after me, as I made my way to my study to at least hold this story for posterity.

On my desk was still the brochure of the discounter. "The purchase would be worthwhile" was there in large letters. They could not have meant that to me. At least not on this day.