7 things you should never tell your children!

The family psychologist Svetlana Merkulova believes that even a small sentence uttered without thinking can affect the mental health of a child, so when communicating with your child it is necessary to choose the words carefully.

There are phrases that you should remove from your vocabulary when addressing your child. Take it into account, as children understand more than you can believe. Today I bring you 7 things that you should never tell your children:

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1. "Good job."

Research has shown that throwing phrases like "good boy" or "well done" every time your child does something right makes you depend on your statements more than your own motivation says the counselor for Parents Magazine, Jenn Berman, (Clinical Psychologist ), author of A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids. Save the compliments for when you really deserve them and be as specific as possible. Instead of saying "great game," tell him, "what good assistance. I liked how you helped your teammate. "

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2. "Practice makes perfect."

It is true that the more time your son devotes to refining his skills, these will undoubtedly be better. Either way, this adage can increase the pressure they feel when doing an activity that involves winning or being the best. "They're getting the message that if they make mistakes, it's because they did not train enough," says Joel Fish, author of 101 Ways to Be a Terrific Sports Parent. "I've seen kids recriminating and wondering, 'What am I doing wrong? I practice, I practice, I practice, and even then I am not the best. '"On the contrary, encourage them to work hard because that way they will perfect their skills and feel proud of their progress.

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3. "You're fine."

If your boy scrapes his knee and breaks into tears, your instinct will make you reassure him that he is not badly hurt. But telling him that it's okay can make things worse. "If your son is crying, it's because he's not well," says Dr. Berman. Your mission is to help him understand and also deal with his emotions, not discard them. Try to hug him and let him know you know how it feels to tell him, 'that was a scary fall' and then ask them if he wants a band-aid or a kiss (or both).

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4. "Do not talk to strangers."

This is a difficult concept for them to understand. Even if a person is not known, he may think he is a stranger, if he is kind to him. In addition children may take this rule incorrectly and may resist the help of police or firefighters, whom they do not know, says Nancy McBride, executive director of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, in the office. Regional of Florida, in Lake Park. Instead of warning you about strangers, give examples with real situations: ("What would you do if a man you do not know offers you a candy and take you home?"), Let him explain to you what he would do, then guide him towards the right actions. Most cases of abducted children involve a person that the children know, you can also adopt the McBride mantra: "If someone makes you feel sad, scared or confused, you should tell me right away."

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5. "I'm on a diet."

If you're trying to lose weight, do not tell them. If your child sees you weighing you on the scale every day and hears you say you're fat, they may develop a negative image of your body, says Marc S. Jacobson, MD, professor of pediatrics and epidemiology at Nassau University Medical Center, in East Meadow, New York. It is better to say, "I am eating healthy because I like the way it makes me feel." Apply the same tactic for when you exercise. "I need to exercise" sounds like a complaint, instead "what a beautiful day, I'm going to go for a walk" may inspire you to join you.

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6. "Hurry!"

Your son takes his breakfast, insists on tying his shoes (so he does not know how to do it well) and will most likely be late for school-again. But pressuring him to hurry creates additional stress, says Linda Acredolo, co-author of Baby Minds. Soften your tone by saying, "hurry up," which sends a message that both are on the same team. Or maybe you can turn it into a game: "let's bet to see who gets the pants first".

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7. "We do not have enough money to buy that."

It is easy to use this almost automatic response, when your son begs you for that fashionable toy. But doing that sends the message that you're not in control of your finances, which can scare the kids, says Jayne Pearl, author of Kids and Money. Older kids can accuse you when you have bought something expensive for the house. Choose an alternative phrase to send to emphasize the same idea, such as "We're not going to buy that because we're saving to buy more important things." If you insist on discussing it more deeply, it's the perfect time to talk about budgets and how to manage the money.