“Let me tell you a story about my life” was what he said as tears rolls down his cheeks.
I have failed so many times in my life, Ryan said. Ryan was a young man with dreams and aspirations. His life has been so easy till he lost his dad at the age of 15, but his mum was always there for him. As an only child, Ryan got all his mother’s attention and this helped through his life till he was in his twenties. He noticed his mother always looked at him and she will smile and start crying.
Some years later the mother became sick and she had only few months to live. Ryan had a stable job and he was 24 years old at this time. Ryan was broken and tired of life but the encouraging words from his dying mother made him feel better. The last days with his mother was sad and interesting at the same time because they got to talk about life and how he has lived most of his years with his mother. Few months later his mother died.
Ryan had a girlfriend named Lucy. Ryan met Lucy in the university and they have been together since then, but with his lovely girlfriend he was living in depression. His depressed state made him lose his job. At this point he felt he had nothing to live for, he was ready to commit suicide. He wrote a suicide letter as he cried all night, because he felt life has not been fair to him. He wanted peace at all cost and he felt the getting a permanent residency in the grave was good for him at that time.
As he wrote the suicide note with pauses and breaks, he thought of the life he has had and the friends he has made. He completed the letter in the morning with the words “It is over”. A rope and a table was enough for him, he was ready to hang himself. He was already in the process when his girlfriend walked into his apartment with excitement written all over her face and she said ‘Ryan, I’m pregnant’. Suddenly he felt he had something to live for, all his hopes were restored. He was ready to be a father, the words she said kept ringing in his ears.
Fast-forward to 50 years later, he was holding the suicide note he wrote 25 years ago as he told me the story. Ryan his happily married to Lucy, and his son is 24 years old and he has two younger sisters. Lucy was the reason he did not follow through with the suicide. Every year he reads the letter as a reminder to be thankful. “I’m thankful I got a second chance to live”, Ryan said.
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