Chapter 1:
A Quick Overview Of My Life Before Hand
My story, like many, is probably going to seem basic and possibly the new type of All-American story. Boy meets girl in school, doesn't pay her much attention, doesn't see her for years, she pops up at a bar, she's smoking hot, they have a whirlwind romance, etcetera ... etcetera. But that was only some of the story.
My wife, who is now my ex, originally met in high school in chorus class. We are going to call her “Angel” for this story's purpose. Her and I both loved to sing so it was natural that's where our two paths would cross. I never talked to her much. She was shy and awkward and I was an athlete and outspoken. We just knew each other, nothing else and honestly I never pictured myself being with her or her being a part of my life.
Time went on like it does, I finished school, never thought about her or anything of the such until one night I was hosting a karaoke show at a local hometown bar and she walked in. Come to find out she was one of my regular's nieces. So he invited her down for a drink and when she heard that I was hosting she rushed to get there.
I remember when she walked through the door. She lit up the room with her beauty and sexuality. Blonde hair, green eyes, skinny as a rail, but I could work with that. She had blossomed into someone that I could see myself being with.
At that particular point I had been dating another girl on-and-off for the past 7 years. Her and I just never seen eye to eye … mainly because her eyes were usually eye-level with some other guys crotch. Let's just say, we had issues. So it was easy to find myself looking for someone else.
That night Angel and I struck up a conversation, exchanged numbers, and went on our merry way. I didn't go in thinking “she's the one.” But I believe in possibilities. So I immediately broke it off with the girl I was seeing because I wanted to know if this thing between Angel and I could work. I didn't want any distractions.
So needless to say it WAS a whirlwind romance, sprinkled with kisses at first, and then some not-so-nice things after. About 6 months in we started to argue. After a year, we argued more.
At the two year mark (yeah, we held on) it had gotten to where we both seen that the relationship was going nowhere. We were living together at the time and we both agreed that when the lease was up that we would head our separate ways. What we didn't do was stop living as boyfriend-girlfriend. So we were still having regular physical contact with each other. Sex, for those that can't read between the lines.
One Sunday morning she awoke and had a feeling. Either her or I would always got to the corner store to grab a Sunday paper because she liked to clip the coupons and I liked to read the funnies. But when she came back I noticed that she didn't have the paper. I also noticed that she was glowing. I remember looking at her and saying “Oh My God You're PREGNANT!” She smiled. I smiled and we held each other. It was like our issues were gone because now we were going to be parents and we both wanted to be there for our child.
A blissful nine months later our daughter arrived. Our little baby girl that we had both waited so long to see and hold ... she was finally here. It felt as if our life was complete. As if nothing could come between us ever again.
We were on the brink of letting go when we became pregnant. So in my mind I knew that we needed to stop the nonsense and be there for our baby. I grew up without having my father there most of the time and I didn't want my child to do the same. I committed myself to sucking it up and dealing with whatever I had to deal with to make it work. But as I'm sure you guessed, the arguing never stopped.
We continued to build our lives together. We bought a house, two cars, had a home equity line of credit, and two great jobs. Basically everything one is told they should have to be an adult. Then the unforeseeable happened … the economy took a dive. Now her and I were not good on many levels, but when money got tight, it opened up a whole new can of worms.
At the time I was working as a sales person and with the down economy my commission checks went from $2500.00 a month to $0.00. I couldn't hardly give product away. So I decided that I would take up hosting karaoke again so that we could have the extra money.
Now I'm also a decent singer and I play guitar. So I had the bright idea of starting an acoustic duo as well, anything to get more money in the door. So within a few months I was running karaoke two nights a week and playing gigs as an acoustic duo three nights a week. All while trying to hold my day job too. I quickly realized that I was making much more money hosting karaoke and playing music then I was at my day job. Plus working all that time, I wasn't seeing my daughter. So I put my two weeks in and started focusing on music. That's when the real trouble started.
To sum it up in a nutshell, it's a rock and roll party lifestyle. Even at the local level. There were drugs, good times, and women everywhere to be had. I never partook of the women because I refused to leave my daughter. I was unhappy at home because all Angel could see was that I was partying all night, sleeping all day, and the bills weren't getting paid. So for a year and a half we were at each others throats, quietly, never loud or in front of my daughter. But again we never stayed mad enough not to be physical.
We got pregnant with our second child around December 2010. A son, which I had been dreaming of since I was 17 years old. I finally got my boy and it seemed as if life was complete again. But I guess nothing could stop the avalanche once it started.
My ex and I continued to be at each others throats. She hated how I made money and I refused to stop. Till one day she had finally had enough, packed her things, and moved to her mother's, my children in tow.
I was left in a four bedroom empty home talking to myself and the shadows on the walls. Crying out to God trying to come to grips on why this had to be this way. Completely blaming myself for ever little detail of our relationship. You know, typical mourning behavior.
I couldn't bare the thought of losing my children like that so I made the decision to quit all music and get a regular job. I started going to church regularly and made a real effort to change what I had become. The problem was my ex made efforts too.
She had moved into her own place in a small town just north of our original home. From what she tells me, she believed that she was through with me and that there was no saving us. So she decided to go meet her ex one night for some drinks. And of course, as it seems like all girls do, she had sex with him.
Now before all this went down her and I had been talking. I had been coming to her house regularly to spend time with her and my children. We were also still having sex. So when I found out about this her ex it was completely out of left field. The bad part was she lied to me about it. I found out because I have a keen sense of bull shit and her story for that night wasn't adding up. It just didn't make sense.
I had already knew that she went. But her timeline didn't work for me and I had an overwhelming feeling that I was being lied to. But I left it alone because by this time she had already decided we should get back together. Yeah, she decided we should get back together.
So she allows six months to pass and one day her and I started arguing about something and I mentioned how she slept with her ex and she FINALLY TOLD ME THE TRUTH. She spilled her guts and as usual the guy in the situation is expected to forgive and forget. We had plans. We were about to move from Florida to North Carolina. I had a great job offered to me up there. So I decided that I would try and lock up my feelings inside myself and get past what I view as infidelity.
My definition of infidelity is having any kind of physical relations with another person once you tell someone that you love them, no matter the circumstance. So basically if you're with someone and you love them but you break up for any reason and you go out and automatically become intimate with someone else, you're a cheater. I'm old school. That is the way I view it because it's easy to break up with someone just to screw someone else. If you really loved that someone, you would not want to share yourself with someone that is not them. But that's what she did.
So I sucked it up, we moved to Carolina, we were there for a year, things were okay, but after a year we decided we hated the Carolina weather and we needed to go back to Florida. This was the beginning of the end.
From the day we sat foot back on to Florida dirt nothing worked out for us. The work I had lined up wasn't what they said it was. The people who said they would help us, didn't. The house we rented was small. Way to small for a family of five (my mother had moved to NC with us and was still living with us at the time). So here I was back to being unhappy with her, arguing, bills not getting paid, same 'ol Florida B.S. So I decided that I was going to start playing music again.
No karaoke this time. Just straight up ass-kicking duo and band work. That's all I wanted. And this time I was able to keep my nose clean. Stayed out of the hard party lifestyle and was bringing home money. But on my Wednesdays off I would go to karaoke at my favorite local bar. Then … it happened.
Chapter 2: She Steps In
It's said that love at first site is ridiculous and that love itself is illogical. I find both statements to be absurd because I have extensive experience with both. They just happen to be with the same person.
She could change the stars in the sky and make them shine brighter with her smile. She's what every man wants, but not many can get. She's completely hard to handle, but so easy to hold. She was my kryptonite and I didn't know it. Until that day.
So that we can keep everything straight we are going to call her Satan. I kid … I kid … we'll call her Karla. Now I had known Karla for a few years. I first met her at a friends wedding. I was Djing and hosting karaoke when she walked up to me. I was enchanted from the start. She has that about her.
She asked me if I had “Never Been To Spain” by Three Dog Night. She smiled with this incredibly gorgeous smile she has and I said “I believe so.” I asked her “don't I know you?” and she told me she was the karaoke girl that took over for me when I decided to quit all those years ago. Then she put her hand on my chest, looked me in the eye and told me “but you're still the best I've ever seen.” She spun around and I got a glimpse of the most incredible hind quarters I had laid my eyes on. I was instantly attracted. But I never attempted to pursue. I just didn't have it in me.
Karla was more than just a nice ass. She had jet black short curls that made her look like she was 19 even though she was in her mid to late 20s. She was a hard body with a flat stomach and she loved to wear little clothes. She was part Puerto Rican so she had beautiful brown skin that radiated her sexuality. All of this is obviously nice but that wasn't even her best features. She has a personality that given the right circumstances could change the world. She listens to good classic music like Muddy Waters, CCR, The Stones, and Ella Fitzgerald. She is a HUGE movie buff so she knows all about old movies. Her favorite is Clockwork Orange. She is a professional photographer, which I was at one point too. She had me from hello.
Come to find out she had admired me from afar for years. She first found me while I was playing music at one of the local haunts in the area. Her and two of her musician friends came up to watch my partner and I jam. She tells me that she heard me sing and she asked her friend (who happened to be her ex) “Who is that?” He quickly told her my name and that I was married with a family. So she kept her distance for about 3 years before ever getting up the nerve to talk to me. That day at the wedding, she found her nerve and it started the ball rolling into our inevitability.
Like I said, I felt it from that day, but I did not pursue it. I had my family, I had my music, I wasn't looking for anything. I started going down to her karaoke shows whenever I could. They were typically on Wednesdays and Saturdays at two different bars. So I had the option of where I could see her. I wasn't going just for her or because of her. I was going really because she had a great show. It was fun, hot chicks were everywhere, and I knew everyone there. Plus she always flirted with me. Any guy would love that.
We talked on Facebook sometimes, but nothing much. I seen that she was dating someone and me being who I am, I would never want to disrespect anyone. I never thought in a million years that she would be interested in me. We became friends. Not the hang-out-at-each-other's-house type of friends. Just casual friends. But I noticed that when I moved to Carolina she was very vocal about not wanting me to be gone. She would write me on my Facebook posts that I needed to hurry up and come back. Well, while I was gone, she got married. I remember feeling so disappointed. It was something I got over fast because hell I was married too.
Once I moved back to Florida I picked up where I left off going to karaoke whenever I could. One night at her show I walked up to her and asked who her friend was. She had this beautiful girl with her that seemed to be another person just like Karla. She could catch your eye and kill you with a smile. She told me the girls name and asked me “why, do you like her?” I simply said “Well you're taken so I can't like you.”
Looking back on that simple flirt I would have never thought that it would lead to where I am now. The look on her face was one of 'Oh My God He Thinks I'm Hot' and astonishment at the same time. I'm not saying that I am God's gift because I am far from it. But I must have been, to her.
Now I never knew that she was interested in me. Like I said earlier, never would have thought it in a million years. So I continued on about my karaoke routine, going to her shows and hanging with my friends. Flirting with her, no big deal. Until the night ...
Chapter 3:
Everyone Thinks The Grass Is Greener
So one night I am out at Karla's show at my favorite local bar. Everything is going great, the music is loud, there are tons of people, I'm having a great time and the alcohol is flowing.
See, her karaoke show had this point in the night where they would give away free shots. What they would do is pull a chair to the middle of the floor and people would line up to get a free shot poured into their mouth by the sexy Karla. She would give the women lap dances and the men would drool over her and tip her well. So I lined up as usual.
It was my turn and I sat down. Instead of her normal pour, she climbed in front of me and proceeded to dance on me, thrusting her hips and rubbing herself all over me. She tilted my head back, poured my shot into my mouth, and laid a sensual lip-lock on me. You could hear the entire tiki bar gasp! We knew everyone there. Everyone knew that I was married and so was she.
It's a very small town where were from and stuff like that can travel fast so I acted like it was nothing. I walked over to the bartender (who was a friend of mine) and asked her “Did you see that?” She said “Everyone seen that! You're married!” I told her “Yeah. But its not my fault she kissed me.” Which it wasn't. But it did exactly what she wanted it to do.
I found myself thinking about her … A LOT. Every time there was cross words with my wife, I would wonder if it would be like that with Karla. Every time I seen my wife naked I would wonder what Karla looked like naked. I got to where I was thinking about her while I was having sex with my wife. It was clear that I had a major yearning for her.
After the kiss I didn't go to her show for a week. I wanted the heat to die down. But the following week I went and it was back to the normal flirting good time. The day after karaoke I text her about how great of a time I had and how much I enjoy seeing her. She replied that she loves having me there and that she was sorry for kissing me but she couldn't help herself. We text a few more times that day. Just to say hi and that's what I thought was the end of it.
It kept running through my mind that she is here in front of me for a reason. I was unhappy with my wife and she is here to be mine, to make me happy.
She was everything I ever wanted. Sexy, smart, fun, friendly, loved kids, loves music, understood my love for music, understood my need for companionship and what I was going through with my wife. She was also going through bad times with her husband. She was unhappy. I was unhappy. It just made sense that we could be happy together.
The grass became more green the more and more I thought about it. Until one day after karaoke her and I were texting and we got on the subject of sex. And of course, in the 21st century world we live in, the picture messages started to fly.
It was everything I thought it was and more. It was incredible and it solidified my need for her and her's for me. I justified my wanting Karla because of what my wife had done just a few years earlier, sleeping with her ex while we were split.
Karla was willing to make it an 'on the down low' thing where we meet at a hotel and screw our brains out. She was going to tell her husband that she had a photo shoot so that she could get out of the house. Then we were going to meet somewhere and have sex. That was her first suggestion. She didn't realize that I wanted out of my marriage and I wasn't looking just to get off. I'm not that dude. She wanted out of her marriage so bad that she just needed an excuse for him to leave and she was going to use the fact that she screwed me to get him to go. Why she didn't just leave him, I don't know. But this all comes into play later.
I had become infatuated with her, and her with me. It was the biggest roller coaster of emotion that I had ever been on. I was so taken by her, but she was married and seemed so far away. I was married and did not want to lose my children. Then a friend of Karla's talked to me one night at karaoke. He told me not to stay with my wife just for the kids. He said that it was unhealthy for me and unhealthy for the children. I had already been thinking about the possibility of leaving. I was on the edge and he pushed me off.
Chapter 4:
My Infidelity Mindset
Karla and I seen each other the next day, like we had started doing a few weeks before. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. It was a cold day down by the river so we climbed into my Durango. One thing lead to another and we were enthralled, pressing our naked bodies against each other. Our lust had gotten the best of us and in a moment that made the world cease to move, we had cheated on our spouses.
I loved this woman with every fiber that I was. But I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing at her house with her husband when I wasn't around. I learned long ago that if a woman will cheat with you, she'll cheat on you.
I kept my cell phone turned down and upside down so that my wife never knew we were talking. It was brutal to go hours at a time and not know if she was okay and how she was doing. She had previously told me that her husband was abusive and that she was afraid to tell him about us because she knew that he would hurt her.
One day after we had talked we both decided that it was time for us to leave our spouses. So I told my wife that I had been unfaithful and that I was in love with another woman. Karla told her husband the same. So within a few hours two lives were devastated because Karla and I needed to be together.
At first we believed in each other. We believed in love. We were inseparable. We were the perfect couple. But I quickly realized that things weren't what they seemed to be and what she said did not match up to her actions.
She wanted to keep her ex as a friend because they had been friends since they were 8 years old. I was cool with this even though I believe an ex is an ex for a reason. If there are no children involved then there is no reason for you to have contact. So I tried it out but I had a gut feeling that something was up.
She was always very secretive about her cell phone. She never laid it down, it was always by her side. One night her and I had went out and had a few drinks. After we got home she jumped in the shower. Well as I was making up the bed I noticed that she left her phone. So I made the conscious decision to find out what was being said between her and her ex, if anything. I found her ex's name and start scrolling through the messages. Inside I found multiple I love you's and I miss you's. She was supposed to come to my show one night and she didn't get there till late. According to the text messages I read, she was trying to go see him at ten o'clock that night. My gut was right. Or at least I believed my gut was right.
While she was in the shower I packed up everything I had and put it in the back of my SUV. Once she got out, I told her I was out of there! She started to freak out and cry, begging me to tell her what was going on. I told her that I had read the texts and that I am not going to stand by and be fucked with. She then proceeded to tell me that she tells everyone that she loves and misses them, all of her friends. And that it meant nothing. And that the night in question where she was trying to go and see him, he was supposed to be selling her weed. She never went because he never answered her back. She told me that if I was uncomfortable with their relationship that she would stop talking to him completely. I told her I was and as far as I knew she did.
I'm an emotional guy. I'm part Italian so I can be a hot head and jump to conclusions. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt, unpacked my truck, and continued on this journey to love her. But the doubt in my mind was already there. She had cheated on him with me. Was she now cheating on me with him?
She told me in the beginning of our relationship that she was an open book. She didn't keep secrets and that her Facebook and email was always open if I ever wanted to look. So since the doubt was already there, I did.
I looked at everything, all the history, all the sent messages, everything. It probably sounds crazy (it actually is) but I needed to see her history because it was so early in the relationship and I already didn't trust her. I was hoping to find nothing. Instead I found all kinds of ridiculous non-sense that she had been doing with her ex-husband that she just left and her previous ex-husband. She had been married before to an actor in California. Well, she was playing both sides of the cards with both of them. Telling both she loved them and both she needed them.
I found emails from where she was dating someone in between them (actually it was the guy from the bar that told her who I was and that I was married) and she was doing the same shit with him. She was playing her first husband, her second husband, and the boyfriend against each other. She went as far as to make a fake paternity test to egg the boyfriend on because she was done with him and she wanted him to leave her alone (that was her story).
So naturally, as I found stuff, I confronted her because I wanted to know if she did this with them, why should I believe she wouldn't do this with me. Her excuse was that I didn't know the situation or the circumstances of what was happening and that I was taking it all wrong. How can I take a fake paternity test wrong? But again, I listened, shut my mouth and moved on.
Her Facebook was almost just as bad. There were constant guys hitting on her and she wasn't telling them to get lost or that she had a man. There was one guy in particular that used to do this all the time. I told her and told her that either he stops or I'm going to break his neck. Her excuse was “Oh, I've known him forever. He doesn't mean what he says.” He was asking her out, talking about wanting her ass, stuff like that. I told her to confront him and guess what? He wanted to date her, have sex with her, and be with her. He told her straight up. When she told him she had a man he said “so, what's that got to do with us?”
You're probably asking by now, why the hell did you stay? I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. Or I loved her that much (which I did). But really, I didn't want to walk away from my family and end up empty handed. So I dealt with stuff like this. People smacking her ass and her not telling them to stop. Her constantly flirting. Her always on her phone. Me catching her in lie after lie about her ex-husband.
She told me she wasn't going to talk to him anymore. I caught her because her ex posted on Facebook that I was a douche and I need to control myself. Well, how in the world would he know something like that unless he talked to her. So I confronted him and he told me everything. That she had been coming by his house, texting him all the time, calling him, telling him all about how crazy I am.
Now according to both of them they were not having sex at anytime when she came over. That it was seriously just friends. So why the lies? Why not be straight up with me? Why go through all the trouble of hiding anything? Why tell me its okay if she didn't see or talk to him ever again?
And it wasn't just once. I caught her in numerous lies hiding him from me. I caught her with texts, strange phone numbers that were him, her having him logged under a different name in her phone, all kinds of BS. She would lie straight to my face and swear she had no idea whose phone number it was. How did I find out? Facebook has a feature that if you type the number in the search engine it will pull up the account. So I did. Guess who it was. She went as far as to open a separate Facebook account just so she could be able to talk with him AND her first husband online. Her excuse? Its because I'm crazy and she needed to be able to have some kind of privacy. Bullshit!
You would think that is enough, but no, its not all. She actually devised this incredible lie to hide the fact that she went to visit a mutual friend of ours. Well, he was more of just a guy from karaoke.
We were having a fight and we called it off so that we could breathe for a day or two. Her and I were still talking, still trying to work it out. Well before her show one day she told me that she had a photo shoot with a girl named Christina in Brandon and she would only be an hour or so. I get a call afterward telling me about her shoot and telling me that she ran into a couple of friends of mine while she was there. I didn't think anything of it.
Me, being a photographer and a lover of her work, I always liked to see what she had shot. So a week or so went by and it dawned on me that I had not seen the pictures yet. So I asked to see them. She told me “Sure! They're at home on the SD card.” So when we got home she grabbed a SD card and proceeded to show me. The problem was, no pictures. She exclaimed “Oh my God what happened! Where did all the pictures go? Oh God they're gonna kill me!” You know, what any normal photographer would say. There was just one issue. She hadn't had anymore shoots on that SD card.
I have a tendency to pay close attention to detail. From the time that she told me she had the shoot in Brandon to the time we were looking at the pictures she had only had one more shoot. I went with her on that one. So there was no way for the SD card to be blank, formatted, or anything.
She swore to me that she must have formatted the card when she was looking through the pictures the night of the shoot. I told her right off that I did not believe her and I wanted to know what was going on. She swore again that she was shooting Christina's daughter for homecoming. She went as far as messaging Christina on Facebook. Christina never answered and what Karla didn't realize is that I still had her Facebook password.
I stayed that night with her because by now I had already gotten my own place. I decided to get up and go to church the following morning and left her asleep in her bed. When church was over something told me to look at her account. So I did and found that she had messaged Christina again saying that she had made a mistake and was messaging the wrong Christina. She told her to never mind about anything she said. So BAM! I caught her in the lie because that was the Christina she had been saying it was from the beginning.
So I called her and confronted her and told her she was a liar. She said that she never did anything of the sort. So I told her what I had found. She had no excuse other than to keep saying that the pictures were of a different Christina's daughter. She told me that she believes she could recover the pictures from the SD card because she found a way to do that and she would show me the pictures because she NEEDED me to trust and believe her. Now how I caught her in this next one I am going to keep to myself.
I got to her house that night and we ate and talked and she said “I was able to recover the pictures. Do you want to see them so you can finally know I'm not lying?” I agreed and she showed me these pictures that was obviously taken by a much better camera than what she owned. I smiled and agreed with what she said. When she walked outside to smoke a cigarette I grabbed the laptop to see what was actually going on. Like I said, I'm keeping this bloodhound secret to myself. But what I found is that she had grabbed pictures off of another photographer's website and was passing them off as the pictures she took that day.
So I pulled up the pictures, walked outside with the laptop in hand and said “You're a FUCKING LIAR!” She quietly whispered “How did you find that?” I demanded to know what the hell was going on that day. Why was she lying to me? Why did she do this with the pictures? She told me because she wanted to see if she could get away with the pictures and as for what happened in Brandon that day, she had met with a guy we both know and she didn't want me to freak out about it and that nothing was going on.
Okay for one thing this guy had all of the sudden started texting her more, Facebooking her more, posting love songs on his timeline, and I could see the way he looked at her while we were at karaoke. His girlfriend and him were going through some rough times and supposedly that is why he had been talking to Karla more, because she was being his shoulder to cry on.
I had noticed a few weeks before this, whenever Karla and I stayed the night together, that we would go to sleep and her phone would be in one place. But when we woke up, it'd be in a different place. So I started intentionally waking up in the middle of the night. I caught her numerous times texting someone in the middle of the night. I never argued with her about it. But I knew that I caught her doing something because she always freaked out. One night, she started crying. That was the only night I tried to talk to her about it. She screamed at me and demanded I just leave her alone. The next morning she woke me up and kicked me out of her house claiming that she can't trust me. Wait … what? Yeah, she couldn't trust me. I have no proof, but I believe it to be either one of her ex-husbands or the guy she met in Brandon.
So if this thing in Brandon was nothing more than just friends talking and having french fries (which is what she told me it was), then why all the lies? Why go through the elaborate ruse? Why not tell me what's up if its harmless? To me, where there is smoke, there is fire. AND IT DOESN'T END THERE! But I'm going to save the rest for my next book “The Crazy Psycho Bitch That I Put Up With And Everything She Did To Me In Less Than 2 Years!”
Chapter 5:
Seventeen Months & Some Change
So if you're asking the question, 'I wonder if he's still with her?', at the time I'm writing this, yes I am. Sometimes I think I thrive on wanting to know the answers to the unanswered questions. Sometimes I think I must be crazy. Other times I think I get off on the pain.
Its been seventeen months and a few days since I decided to leave my wife for Karla. Throughout our entire relationship there has never been any peace. Never any peace of mind. Never a quiet nights sleep. I'm constantly wondering what she's doing or who she's doing it with. Like I said earlier, even in the middle of the night I find myself waking up just to check if she's on her phone. It's maddening.
I ask myself the same group of questions all the time. Why would you put yourself through this? Why did you let it get this far? Why does she treat you like this? What did you do to deserve this? Is it you? Solid answers never come to mind.
So I find myself today sitting in front of this computer writing to you so that you can understand what I have went through. I hope that you will see that what looks like greener pastures, still has shit in them.
Now I'm not saying that every instance of a man leaving his wife or woman leaving her husband will end up this way. But just remember, if they cheated with you, they'll cheat on you. You are not the exception. You are the rule.
Take it from me. You've read my testimony and that's only half of what I've let her put me through. I'm currently 3000 miles away from my kids. Why? Because I loved her so much that I chased her across the country. That's how ridiculously sick I am with having to know why all of this happened. Sometimes I think it's God punishing me. Hell, it may be.
Chapter 6:
Leaving Empty Handed
When it comes down to it, I don't want to be left empty handed. I don't want to be looked at as the guy who jumped at a foolish opportunity and couldn't make it work out. So I deal with the hell I believe I deserve to prove to Karla she doesn't need to treat me, or anyone, the way she does. It's almost like I'm trying to fix her. Maybe I am. But reality and fantasy goes hand and hand here.
Fantasy is 'I can show here the error of her ways and she will appreciate how much I love her and change for me.' When reality is 'I can show her the error of her ways and she could care less because she's a sociopath that has no remorse for anything she has done to anyone.'
Yeah, I know I should leave her. I should have left her the night I found those texts on her phone. But for some reason I have inside of me a tolerance and belief that things can work out. I've done this my entire life. Every girlfriend that I've had since high school has been a cheater. I'm to the point right now that I truly don't believe that there is such a thing as honesty and loyalty in relationships anymore. So what's the use to leave when the next girl will just give me more of the same heartache?
I know not everyone will be this way. Some of you have less attachment to people. Some of you may be just like Karla … soul-less. If you're one of these people and are reading this book, you need to grow up. You need to learn to treat people right and quit being so self absorbed. Life isn't about what you can get. It's about what you can give. As you read above, I was selfish for one time in my life and it destroyed everything I worked so hard to build.
So step back and take a look at yourself. Do you actually like you? You must not because people that truly are comfortable with themselves treat people with honor, dignity, and like they would want to be treated. They don't fill them full of lies. If you're anything like Karla, find someone else just like yourself so you two can hurt each other back and forth and leave us good souls out of it.
Conclusion:
I want to thank you for reading my short story and giving me the opportunity to tell my story. If you would, please upvote.
Just a little advice if you are thinking about leaving your spouse. If there is some hot piece of tail wooing you, whether it be man or woman, you need to think harder about trying to make it work instead of thinking with your genitals. It's not worth the headache and I'm living that heartache everyday.