It was just another cold night, rainy, windy. The leaves on trees got blown off and swirled around with the breeze. But there I was, sitting on the tour bus. Fucked up as usual. I dont even know where I was. I was surrounded by many people, yet I still
felt as tho there was something missing. Something deep in my heart, or maybe my mind. This is do not know. I knew I needed it tho because I was feeling more and more depressed every day. I felt as tho the days were getting darker and the nights
became my prime time. I stayed up until 3 in the morning every night, and the only times i went out was when I ran out of alcohol, drugs, cigarettes or when I had to perform. I knew i couldnt live like this for long, I thought to myself every night; this
is it, im going to die soon, and prayed that god would accept me when i died. But so far ive been waking up every day. I got to a point where I woke up on a hospital bed not knowing what had happened or how I even ended up in the hospital. Since that
all my friends called me King Overdose, I know, I know, J Cole called his album that, but just stay with me and hear me out.
To talk in more detail about what im into; I love everything, I’ll take Xanax mix it with lean and Percocet and sometimes even cocaine. My addiction was getting so bad I would get withdrawals within a few hours. I needed
all of that shit to keep my body satisfied and my brain stimulated. But this had a major effect on my mood. I became sadder and sadder, it became harder to fake the smile I have been faking for so long. I was at a point where I wanted to
be dead, I wanted to just end it all and maybe hope to get another chance, where I would know to avoid this type of fast pace lifestyle.
After my last show one night shit went down. I had a ball as usual. I loved performing, I felt so free and I felt like I was invincible. After the show I hopped on the bus popped 5 Xans, washed them down with some Hennessy
and went to sleep. I was certain this would end my suffering but i woke up the next morning still feeling fucked up. I just began to write more and more music. Happy songs tho, because thats what the fans want right? To them everything about me is
perfect. Im tired of it i want to tell them what shits really like but I am afraid what they will think... What should I do?
