THE STORY OF THE HUNCHBACK WITH THE TAILOR, THE JEW, THE CHRISTIAN, AND THE BARBER OF BAGHDAD
The Taylor's Narrative, Part 15.
ON THE TWENTY-NINTH NIGHT
Sheherazade said:
The barber said:
"At these words, my brother El-Kouz, without hearing more, picked up his tools and what remained of his strength, and, without delay, he fled and did not rest until he left the city. And he began to walk until he came to another town very far off, which had no king or tyrant like the other.
He resided quite a long time in this city, taking care, as a precaution, not to show himself anywhere. But one day, when he was sadder than usual, he went out a little to breathe the air and stroll around a little while watching; he heard behind him the neighing of horses and immediately, remembering his last misadventure, he fled as quickly as possible and began to seek some corner in which to hide; but he found none. However, he saw in front of him a large door, and he pushed open this door, which gave way, and he rushed inside. Ahead of him was a long dark corridor, where he hid. He was barely hidden there when suddenly two men in front of him rose and seized him and chained him and said to him: "Allah be praised, who finally enabled us to find you, O enemy of Allah and men! We have been looking for you relentlessly for three days and three nights, and you have deprived us of all sleep and all rest. And you made us taste the bitterness of death!" And my brother El-Kouz said: “But, O good people, to what has Allah condemned me? And what order did he give you against me?" They replied, "You want to destroy us and ruin the master of this house with us! Was it not enough for you then to have reduced all your friends to misery, and the master of this house to utter poverty? And now you want to assassinate us! Where is the knife you held in your hand yesterday when you ran behind one of us?" At these words, they began to search him and found in his belt the knife he used to cut the leather of the resoling. So they struck down El-Kouz and were about to cut his throat, when he exclaimed: “Listen to me, good people, I am neither a thief nor an assassin, but I have a surprising story to tell you, and it is my own story!" But they would not listen to him; they trampled him underfoot and beat him and tore his clothes. When they had thus torn his clothes and laid bare his back, they saw on his back the scars of all the blows of sticks and whips he had received in recent times, and they cried out: "O cursed scoundrel! here are the traces of the old blows on your back which prove to us all your past crimes!" And thereupon they dragged poor El-Kouz into the hands of the wali; and El-Kouz reflected on all his misfortunes and said to himself: "How great must be my sins to expiate them thus, when I am innocent of any fault! However, I have recourse only to Allah the Most High!"
When he was in the hands of the wali, the wali looked at him angrily and said to him: “Brash wretch! certainly, the blows whose traces are on your back are sufficient proof to us of all your past and present embezzlement." He ordered that he should immediately be given a hundred lashes! After which, he was hoisted and tied on the back of a camel, and the criers paraded him through the whole city shouting: “This is the punishment of the one who criminally enters the house of another!"
But the news of all these misadventures of my brother El-Kouz, this unfortunate, did not remain long without reaching me. And I immediately went looking for him, and I finally found him, and that just as they were bringing him down from the camel's back. So I, O Commander of the Faithful, made it my duty to collect him, take care of him and bring him back in secret to Baghdad, where I gave him enough to eat and drink quietly until the end of his days.
This is the story of this unfortunate El-Kouz. As for my fifth brother, his adventure is surprising and will prove to you, O Commander of the Faithful, how much I am by far the most prudent and wisest of my brothers.
THE STORY OF EL-ASCHAR, THE BARBER'S FIFTH BROTHER
It is precisely, O Commander of the Faithful, the one of my brothers who had his ears cut off and his nose too. He was named El-Aschar, either because he was tall and had a belly developed like a pregnant camel, or also because he was like a large cauldron. But that did not prevent him from being extraordinarily lazy during the day, while at night he ran all sorts of errands and earned money for the next day by all sorts of illicit and rather bizarre means.
But when our father died, we each inherited a hundred drachmas of silver. El-Aschar, like all of us, took the hundred drachmas that were due to him but did not know what to do with them. Finally, he had the idea, among a thousand, to buy a lot of glassware and sell them at retail; and that in preference to any other profession, because of the lack of movement that this profession entailed.
My brother El-Aschar, therefore, became a glassware merchant: for this purpose, he bought a large basket in which he put the glassware, chose a corner of a busy street, and settled there, putting the glassware basket in front of him. He squatted quietly, leaned his back against the wall of a house, and began to offer his wares to passers-by, shouting:
“O glasses! O drops of sunshine! O breasts of alabaster teenagers! eyes of my nurse! hardened and cold breath of virgins! O glasses! O glasses! »
But most often El-Aschar was silent and, leaning his back against the wall, he allowed himself to dream aloud. And here is what, during one of these days, at the time of the Friday prayer, El-Aschar was thinking:
“I have just invested all my capital in the purchase of these glass works, namely one hundred drachmas. I will certainly manage to sell the whole thing for two hundred drachmas. With these two hundred drachmas I will buy still other glassware, and I will sell them for four hundred drachmas. And I will continue to sell, buy and sell until I have become the possessor of a great capital. Then I will buy all kinds of merchandise, drugs, and perfumes, and I will not stop selling until I have made very large profits. Then I can buy a great palace, slaves, horses, and saddles with gold-worked brocade covers; and I will eat and drink; and there won't be a singer in town that I don't invite to sing in my house. Then I will get in touch with all the most expert matchmakers in Baghdad and I will send them to the daughters of kings and viziers; and it won't be long before I marry, at least, the Grand Vizier's daughter! For it has come to me that this young girl is particularly beautiful and perfect in perfections; so I will constitute for him a dowry of a thousand dinars of gold. And I do not doubt that her father, the Grand Vizier, will immediately consent to this marriage; but, if he will not consent to it, well! I will go and take away his daughter from him despite his nose, and I will bring her to my palace. Then I will buy myself ten young boys for my private service. After that, I will have royal robes made, such as only sultans and emirs wear; and I will order the most skillful jeweler to make me a saddle of gold encrusted with pearls and jewels. And then, mounted on the most beautiful horse, which I will buy from the chief of the Bedouins of the desert or which I will bring from the tribe of the Anezi, I will walk through the city with numerous slaves around me, in front of me and behind me; and, in this way, I will arrive at the palace of the grand-vizier who, at my approach, will rise in my honor and yield his place to me and will stand below me and will consider himself very honored to be my stepfather. And I will have with me two young slaves, each carrying a large purse, and in each purse, there will be a thousand dinars. I will give one of the purses to the Grand Vizier as his daughter's dowry, and I will give him the other purse just to show him my generosity, my magnanimity, and how little the whole world is to me. Then I will gravely return home; and when my betrothed sends me a person to send me her compliments, I will shower that person with gold and I will present them with precious fabrics and magnificent robes. And if the vizier should send me some wedding gift, I will not accept it and I will return it to him, even if it was a very expensive gift and all this to prove to him that I have a highly placed soul and that I am incapable of the slightest indelicacy. After which, I myself will fix the day of my wedding and the details of the ceremony; and I will give my orders so that nothing will be spared, both for the feast and for the number and quality of the players of instruments, male and female singers, and dancers. And I will make all the necessary preparations in my palace, and I will adorn it and spread it everywhere with carpets, and I will scatter the ground with flowers from the entrance to the hall of the feast, and I will sprinkle the ground with rose water and other scented waters.
At this point in her narration, Sheherazade saw the morning appear and quietly fell silent.*
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