THE STORY OF THE VIZIER NOUREDINE, HIS BROTHER THE VIZIER CHAMSEDDINE, AND HASSAN BADREDDINE
Harun al-Rashid
Source
With the help of the genie, Hassan succeeds in being alone with El-Hosn in the bridal chamber.
ON THE EIGHTH NIGHT
Sheherazade said:
The young bride stopped in front of the handsome Hassan, for whom she was instantly consumed with ardor, and cried, raising her hands to heaven: “Allahumma! let this handsome boy become my husband! And get rid of this hunchbacked groom! »
Then Hassan Badreddine, according to the advice of the gennie, plunged his hand into his pocket and withdrew it full of gold, and threw the gold by handfuls to the servants of Sett El-Hosn and to the dancers and singers, who cried: “Ah! may you possess the bride!" And Badreddine smiled kindly at this wish and their compliments.
As for the hunchback, during the whole scene, he was neglected with contempt, and he sat all alone, as ugly as a monkey. And all the people who approached him by chance, passing near him, put out their candles to make fun of him. And he stayed like that all the time, moping and getting bad blood in his soul. And all the women sneered at him and told him salty jokes. One said to him: “Monkey! you can masturbate and copulate with the air!" The other said to him: “Look! you're barely as big as our handsome master's zebb! And your two bumps are just the measure of his eggs!" A third said, "If he kicked you with his zebb, he'd send you to the stable on your behind!" And everyone was laughing.
As for the new bride, seven times in succession, and each time dressed differently, she made the tour of the room, followed by all the ladies; and it stopped, after each lap, in front of Hassan Badreddine. And each new dress was much more beautiful than the previous one, and each adornment infinitely surpassed the other adornments. And all the time, while the new bride was thus advancing slowly and step by step, the female instrument players were doing wonders, and the female singers were singing the most passionately amorous and exciting songs, and the dancers, accompanying themselves with their little bell drum, danced like birds! And, each time, Hassan Badreddine did not fail to throw the gold in handfuls, spreading it throughout the room; and all the women were rushing on it to have something to touch with the boy's hand. There were even some who took advantage of the general hilarity and excitement, the sound of the instruments, and the exhilaration of the singing, to simulate, lying on top of each other on the ground, copulation, watching Hassan sitting and smiling! And the hunchback looked at all this very sorry. And his desolation increased each time he saw one of the women turn to Hassan, and, with her hand stretched out and suddenly lowered, invite him, by a sign, to her vulva; or another waving his middle finger, winking; or another, swaying her hips and writhing, clapping her open right hand on her closed left hand; or another, with an even more lustful gesture, slapping on the buttocks and saying to the hunchback: "You'll love it in the time of the apricots!" And everyone laughs.
By the end of the seventh round, the wedding was over, as it had lasted most of the night. So the female instrument-players ceased plucking their instruments, the dancers and singers stopped, and with all the ladies they passed in front of Hassan, either kissing his hands or touching the skirt of his dress; and everyone went out looking at Hassan one last time as if to tell him to stay there. And, in fact, only Hassan, the hunchback, and the new bride with her servants remained in the room. Then the servants led the wife into the undressing room, undressed her of her robes one by one, and each time saying: “In the name of Allah!" to ward off the evil eye. Then they left, leaving her alone with her old nurse, who, before taking her to the nuptial chamber, had to wait until the newlywed, the hunchback, arrived there first.
The hunchback therefore rose from the platform, and, seeing Hassan still seated, said to him in a very curt tone: “Truly, Lord, you have greatly honored us with your presence and you have showered us with your blessings this night. But now, do you expect, to leave from here, that you are driven out?" Then Hassan, who, in short, did not know precisely what he should do, replied, rising: “In the name of Allah!" and he got up and left. But hardly had he left the door of the hall when he saw the genie appear and say to him: "Where are you going, Badreddine? Stop and listen to me carefully and follow my instructions. The hunchback has just gone to the toilet, and I take care of it! You, in the meantime, go straight to the bridal chamber, and when you see the new bride enter, you will say to her: “It is I who am your real husband! The sultan, your father, used this stratagem only out of fear for you of the evil eye of envious people! As for the groom is the most miserable of our grooms; and, to compensate him, we prepare a good pot of curdled milk in the stable so that he refreshes himself with it to our health! Then you will take her, without fear, and, without hesitation, you will remove her veil, and you will do to her what you will do to her!" Then the genie disappeared.
The hunchback arrived, in fact, in the toilet, to discharge himself before joining the new bride, squatted on the marble, and began! But immediately the genie took the form of a big rat and came out of the hole in the lavatory, and made the rat cry: “Zik! zik!" And the hunchback clapped his hands to scare him away, and said to him: “Hesch! hesch!" Immediately the rat began to grow and became a big cat, with terribly bright eyes, which began to meow askew. Then, as the hunchback continued to relieve himself, the cat grew fat and became a big dog that barked, “Haou! haou!" Then the hunchback began to be frightened and shouted to him: "Go away, villain!" Then the dog grew fat and swelled up and became an ass, which began to bray in the face of the hunchback: “Hak! hi hak!" and also to fart with a terrible noise. Then the hunchback was full of terror, felt his whole belly melt into diarrhea, and barely had the strength to cry out: "Help me, inhabitants of the house!" Then, for fear that he would escape from there, the donkey grew still bigger and became a monstrous buffalo, which completely blocked the door of the toilet, and this buffalo, this time, spoke with the voice of men, and said: “Woe to you, hunchback of my ass! O most revolting of grooms!" At these words, the hunchback felt the cold of death invade him; he slipped with his diarrhea on the tiles, on the floor, half-dressed, and his jaws clicked together and ended by welding together terror! Then the buffalo shouted to him: “Hunchback of bitumen! could you not find another woman to charge with your ignoble tool, but my mistress?" And the groom, full of terror, could not utter a word. And the genie told him: "Answer me, or I will make you bite your excrement!" Then the hunchback, at this terrible threat, was able to say: “By Allah! it's not my fault! I was forced to! And besides, O mighty sovereign of the buffaloes, I could not guess that the young girl had a lover among the buffaloes! But I ask Allah and you for forgiveness! Then the genie said to him: "You are going to swear to me by Allah that you are going to obey my orders!" And the hunchback hastened to take the oath. Then the genie said to him: “You will stay here all night until sunrise! And only then can you leave! But you won't say a word to anyone about all this, otherwise, I'll smash your head into a thousand pieces! And never again set foot on the side of this palace, in the harem! Otherwise, I tell you again, I will crush your head and bury you in the pit of excrement!" Then he added: “Now I will put you in a position that I forbid you to move until dawn! Then the buffalo seized the groom by the feet with his teeth and drove him, head first, into the bottom of the gaping hole of the lavatory pit, and only left his feet out of the hole. And he repeated to him: "And above all, be careful not to move!" Then he disappeared.
So much for the hunchback!
As for Hassan Badreddine, he left the hunchback and the genie struggling, and he entered the private apartments, and thence into the bridal chamber, where he sat at the very back. And no sooner was he there than the new bride entered, supported by her old nurse who stopped at the door, letting Sett El-Hosn enter alone. And, without distinguishing who was seated at the back, the old woman, thinking she was talking to the hunchback, said to him: "Get up, valiant hero, take your wife, and act brilliantly! And now, my children, may Allah be with you!" Then she withdrew.
At this point in her narration, Sheherazade saw the morning appear and quietly fell silent.*
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