Adolescence is a difficult stage for children and parents, and family relationships can be affected by mood swings. Parents do not know how to talk, guide, empathize and cordialize with their children. It is uphill to get involved with some young people because they are closed, lonely and predisposed to the advice of parents and representatives. To the point that many times they end up damaging themselves, many times, reaching suicide.
Being a parent is a beautiful and wonderful role but complicated and confusing. Even in a family with three children, the parenting formula (the same) does not achieve the same results with all the children. One of them may have certain symptoms that can alert parents to behavioral problems. In recent years the statistics of suicide teens have been raised, becoming one of the common causes of death in the world. It is difficult for parents, siblings and other members of the family to notice that the manifest behavior of the suicide will take them along these lines. Suicidal behavior is an action intended to hurt oneself and includes the suicidal idea, suicide attempts and consummated suicide. In suicidal ideation there are thoughts and plans of suicide. Suicide attempts are self-injurious acts that could lead to death, for example, hanging or drowning. That is why it is very important to be alert to certain behavioral characteristics:
1.- Frequent allusions to death or death: They speak of death as something good. If they have talent for painting, make drawings of the dead, scenes or signs of death.
2.- Continuous mood swings: Surprisingly manifest extreme mood swings, impulsive and frequent. Sudden and exaggerated changes of opinions. They scream and get angry for everything, even for trifles. They come to say phrases like "I can not take it anymore", "I want to die", "I'm not the favorite son", "life is not worth it", "it's going to be better for everyone without me", "it would have been better if I would not have been born "," I'm not good for nothing "," nobody loves me ", I'm a crap, etc.
3.- Psychological disorders: We must be alert to adolescents suffering from psychological illnesses such as severe depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress, as well as the recurrent trauma of physical and sexual abuse. More than 50% of suicides are committed by people with depression or mood disorders.
4.- Eating disorders (bulimia and anorexia): They begin to feed inadequately or change the eating rhythm. They are extremists, they go from eating a lot and at all times to submitting to extreme diets. There are also those who vomit after eating.
5.- Academic Conflicts: The grades of the school go down and it begins to fail in the academic. They do not mind studying because they do not believe in the future. You do not see graduates or with a trade.
6 .- They change the way they dress: they welcome strange fashions, they dress in black, they do not clean themselves, they let their hair grow, and hair on their faces. They do not mind looking good, and they criticize or make fun of those who do.
7.- Social Isolation: Avoiding friends, family or study partners is common among suicidal individuals, who are often isolated from normal social interactions.
8.- They are physically hurt: They cut their clothes, they make small wounds to see the bleeding (maybe they are getting used to it or taking courage)
9.- Sleep disorders: They can not get to sleep because their mind is working on issues that depress them. There are also those who, on the contrary, sleep for many hours because it is the way to isolate themselves from the reality that surrounds them.
10.- Tension, anxiety or nervousness: They seem to be in constant movement. Abstracted in a complicated world. They do not stay in one place for a long time. Usually, they move one of their limbs (feet or hands) as if shaking.
11.- Depression: They maintain a sad, pensive and absent expression. Even if you compare photos from previous years, sadness in the look and body posture is noted.
12.- Give away favorite possessions: some even write their will or write farewell letters.
13.- Minimum conversation: they isolate themselves from conversations. When asked about a topic, they evade, respond mockingly or with violence and contempt.
14.- Manifestation of feelings of guilt: They are dismissed or blamed for all the problems that occur around them. -
15.- Direct or indirect suicide threats: They continually express that they will soon die, as they want to be dressed when they die, that they do not care if they remember them or not.-
Risk factor's
Several factors have a characteristic influence on the fact that suicidal thoughts turn into suicidal behaviors. Although there are occasions that there are no factors that serve as a breeding ground for the suicidal impulse. He simply did it without warning. However, some stressful events have been identified that serve as a trigger:
• The failure of a romantic relationship
• A change of familiar or habitual surroundings, school, lyceums or the distance of the friends
• Humiliations by family or friends
• Suffer bullying at school (bullying)
• School failure
• Problems with the law
• Death of a close family member
• Divorce or separation of parents
• Being objects of physical or sexual abuse
• A father with a history of problems with the police
• Lack of communication with parents
It should be borne in mind that not everyone who considers suicide shows obvious signs of risk factors. In effect, around 25% of suicide victims may not show signs in absolutes.
Preventive measures that can help reduce the risk of suicide:
Obtain effective care for mental and physical disorders, and for substance use
Promote effective communication in the family environment
Try not to have strong attention with a child
Do not involve children in the couple's problems
Be alert to the different changes in mood, behavior, spills, hair cuts, hairstyles, tattoos, body piercings, dream hours and habits in general.
Get specialized professional support at the first warning of some suicidal signs
Learn ways to peacefully solve conflicts
Promote cultural and religious beliefs that reject suicide
Mark a deep relationship of LOVE in the family and especially with adolescents with psychological disorders.
It should be noted that in the presence of a suicide you have to be careful when confronting it:
Do not try to do it without help. If someone you know is suicidal, do not try to help them overcome it on their own.
Seek professional help.
If you do everything possible and the person continues with their suicide plans, it is important not to blame yourself.
When talking with a suicidal person:
- Use the right tone. It transmits peace and confidence. Try to demonstrate sententious alterations.
- Be a good listener. Keep eye contact, pay close attention and respond in a kind tone. Treat the subject directly. Ask her.
- If the person says yes, the next step is to ask "Do you have a plan to commit suicide?".
- If the answer is yes, seek help immediately.
- Avoid making the situation worse. There are things that may seem useful, but that actually increase the guilt or shame of the suicidal teen. You should avoid comments like the following:
"Do not be dramatic"
"Everything is the fault of your dad, mom or anyone else"
"Everything will look better tomorrow."
"It could be worse. You must feel lucky for everything you have. "
"Do not worry. Everything will be fine". - Avoid comments that seem derogatory. Some comments may convey the idea that you do not take the other person's feelings seriously. Avoid comments like the following:
"Things are not so bad", "You would not dare to hurt yourself", "I have also felt overwhelmed, but I have overcome it".