I would like to begin by apologizing for not making a post last week. This is holding me up to one of the accountability measures and consequences from SWAP 2.0 - Developing a Resolution. I felt horrible and even began thinking about my apology letter before the week was even over. It was terrible knowing that there was no way I would be able to make a post, and I had one that I was really excited to get out before the end of the week. Instead, SWAP 3.0 - A New Year History, gets to be posted for this week.
School must come first and it was the last week of a class, with several assignments that had to be turned in and others that had to be worked on to raise my grade. Thankfully I finished the course with an A-! I was ecstatic! Do you know how hard it is to memorize business codes, which Article of which document means what, or whether it is ethical and legal to follow the laws of other countries and ignore the businesses local laws when doing business globally? How about discussing each branch of government and several sub-branches? Or having to memorize information regarding the UN that never seemed to matter before? This was just an introduction course for Business Law, so the next few will most likely get more difficult. Let's hope that I can keep up and build on what I have already learned!
As I mentioned, I had been thinking about what I was going to write when I apologized. It seemed silly to just make a post that said I was sorry. I felt like it needed more than an explanation, too. So I decided I was going to write about apologies.
The Oxford Living Dictionaries defines an apology as "a regretful acknowledgement of an offense or failure."
Merriam-Webster says apologies are "an expression of regret for not being able to do something."
The Cambridge Dictionary defines an apology as "an act of saying that you are sorry for something wrong you have done."
Dictionary.com takes it a step further stating an apology is "a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another."
All four of these definitions state that a party has been wronged, and they need acknowledgement from the violator. This could be something major, like wrecking a car or hitting your brother. It can also be something minor, such as missing a blog post or spilling a drink. Apologies are an important way to let the injured party know that the violator understands they were wrong and accepts the consequences for the wrong doing.
To make an apology the violator must give up being right. They have to step out of their own shoes and try on someone else's. This means the violator has to pretend that they are the injured party. I have to make another apology today, which I am attempting to use as an example. My son had free dress today, which means no uniform, and wanted to wear his skinny jeans so bad! I told him he had to put on his uniform, because I had no information from his teacher or the school. Later I got ahold of his teacher and guess what! Today is picture day and he can free dress. I had to think about how he felt. He most likely thought that I was calling him a liar, which hurts his feelings so much.
Next the violator has to own up to what they did. The best way to do this is with I-statements. These are statements where the violator takes responsibility for what happened. Still working on the example of my son's free dress day, I must tell him I forgot that a paper about picture day came home two weeks ago. I do not need to tell him that he should have reminded me, he already gave me the paper!
While making the apology, the violator must maintain responsibility. None of the blame should be shifted to the injured party. There should be no excuses, unless they are pertinent to the situation. The apology should also come before any excuse and still maintain that the violator is the responsible party.
No matter what, when apologizing, the violator should always keep the injured party in mind. This can change the wording that is used or the style the apology is received, written or verbal. Thinking like the injured party can also allow the violator to cover all of the areas the injured party needs apologized for, such as specific issue, naming the broken rule, acknowledging the feelings produced, or the amount of regret felt. All of these parts are important to make the apology credible.
Thank you for reading and accepting my apology. I will try to stay on top of my school work better so this will not happen again.