Dear Sixteen Year Old Kaelci,
It has been fifteen years since we were one and the same, and... oh man, you have no idea. Sixteen, hey? Well, your thirty-one year old self has no patience for the youth these day, so allow me to give you some cold, hard facts:
I do not like you. Though don't take that too harshly; I don't like you when you are seventeen, eighteen, nineteen... et cetera... it's not until the fine age of twenty-seven I decided to start treating myself - and more importantly, others - in a more positive manner.
Your friends? You hurt them. Only two have remained through the trials of your selfishness and you barely speak. Not from pain at least; people just grow apart. It's okay. You have finally found solace and understanding in the fact that a few close friends are better than a hundred acquaintances.
Your family? You have disowned them. You know that it's inevitable. It was difficult, but the toxicity is gone. You have a new family now. You have a wonderful partner, you met on a conspiracy website of all things! Can you imagine? And you have an overly rambunctious son. He'll be 5 soon! You also have two gorgeous lovebirds. I know, it's not the crazy-cat-lady load of cats that you want, but you will love them.
Your studies? You fail them. You repeat your senior years only to quit halfway, to work 40-50hours a week in... retail. Yes, the job that you started this year... the only job you've ever had. You remain in the woeful irate-customer-ridden doom of retail for years. It's ok. You're finally writing that book that you dreamt about. It's not quite how you imagined it. It's no longer a story designed to help others who were in similar situations; it's simply a fantasy novel now.
Do you remember the younger girl you once were? Do you remember reading those wonderful books by Louise Cooper? The realm of the Chaos Gods was your own as you sought to live in your imagination rather than deal with reality. Cycles repeat, dear sixteen-year-old-self, but cycles can also be broken. You may feel as though the cycle is destined to be repeated evermore as you begin to ascend into adulthood, but fear not... you err, we all do, but ultimately you will not become who you hate.
Though, dear Kaelci, if I could change the course of time and have you read this before anything comes to pass, may I suggest... no, may I demand that you heed these words: pull your head out, and take heart. Our mistakes make us who we are so I would not have you change them, but honestly, go about it in a more thoughtful manner.
I do not like you, but I love you. It will all be okay.
Image courtesy of Pixabay
This was a message to my sixteen-year old self, prompted by @cadawg with their #talking16 contest. It might seem like a harsh message, but it brought me to tears... looking back over the years, my teenage-self really needs a kick in the butt.