Shhh, yes I do. This is a legitimate need that responsible adults commonly have. Shut up, yes it is. Anyway the gadget on my wrist is called the Pyro Mini, which is not a mini flamethrower as you might expect. Rather it ignites rolled up bits of magician's flash paper.
The small explosion propels the burning paper from the tube, sending it flying a few feet while it finishes combusting. The effect is a small but impressive burst of flame from the user's wrist. I have even less reason to own this than the laser, if that's possible.
This is the box it came in. It was surprisingly inexpensive, but then there isn't much to the mechanism. It's just a lithium battery powered ignition device with two tubes the paper goes into. I've also got a refill of flash paper on the way, naturally. I can tell I'm going to use this a lot just to amuse myself, so I stocked up on ammo.
This is what was inside the top layer of the box. The double barrel wrist mounted fireball shooter (which is fun even just to write) and the various tools you need to reload it properly. The other box shaped thing is the remote which you use with your other hand to trigger the device to fire.
The business end. If you can believe it, this is the closest my phone would come to focusing on it. The remote uses a single CR2032 hearing aid battery, while the device itself uses a rechargeable lithium ion battery that's built in. I've got it plugged in and charging now because for serious important reasons I need to shoot fireballs right away.
The extras that were underneath the top portion of the box interior. It looks intimidating but it's just the stuff needed to load the barrels, and a pair of fake sleeve extensions you can use to conceal the somewhat bulky launcher.
I haven't fired it yet but am looking forward to it. Besides the reloads for this thing I also bought some regular full sized sheets of flash paper to make origami animals out of. I can use those as targets, since they will erupt into flame themselves if struck by a fireball (or a laser blast for that matter).
This is the closest I can come to the plasmids from Bioshock. I am pretty pleased with the concept but once again find myself wondering how often I am likely to use this thing before it goes on a shelf. I was a lot wiser with my money back when I barely made enough to live. But then, it's fine to have a little bit of frivolous fun so long as one also puts aside money to help others, which I've been doing as well.
What should I use this for? Lighting the farts of unsuspecting strangers from a distance? Setting off other people's fireworks on the 4th of July? Fire blasting centipedes that sometimes find their way in here during the colder months? I'm open to any ideas, however depraved. I mean you don't buy something like this intending to do productive things with it.
*Stay Cozy!