Some good things have been happening
My inactivity has an explanation!
Hello everyone, after so much I can feel proud and say I made it
Summing up a few months ago, it was crazy, I had very heavy days.
The few people who have read my previous publications about my personal life and university know that it has been a very difficult path for me, and that I have had moments where I am under such pressure that I do not even feel able to finish projects on time.
July 2019
It all started this month. Of course, if I wanted to graduate from college I needed to present my degree work or better known as a thesis concerning a subject of study that has to do with the career I was studying. For this you have to have a lot of preparation time, it is not easy.
In July I submitted my thesis project, this means that I delivered a preamble of what my research would be, I had to wait for the approval of the readership committee of my university to proceed to develop it.
suffering and waiting
October 2019
Time passed and it was not until this month that I received an answer
Everyone who was at that meeting was shocked, obviously, we had less than 1 month to finish everything, and they hadn't even given us the approvals of our projects. (This was a big mess in my university, the organization was disastrous and the students had to run against time to finish our thesis if we wanted to graduate this year).
Apart from that, that day we also organized presentation dates for the thesis, ASSUMING THAT WE WERE ALL READY TO PRESENT IT.
At this point I was already crying internally, feeling incapable, stressed, upset with the university, because yes, obviously I wanted to graduate this year, and I would do the impossible to do it but just then I could only think ''I will not achieve it''.
I only had a part of the theoretical research, if I knew how I was going to take my photographs, BUT I DID NOTHING ANYTHING ABOUT THAT, I had less than two weeks to finish the theoretical work, organize with the photographs and the most difficult materialize my ideas. I had everything visualized in my mind, but it was missing, it does not become real until you really do it. And this was the most difficult I think.
Another thing that worried me more than the photographs was the assembly of them, I had to present it in the most aesthetic way possible (to my liking), but something organized, something well done, could not do anything, after all, we are talking about the final product of years of research. I looked for donations of photographic frames because I felt I needed them, if not, I would have to do them manually ... and guess that ... I didn't even use frames at the end.
I remember that when I left the meeting, some tears came out because I already felt so much pressure and felt that I could not do it.
November 2019
The fiery day has arrived! November 7, 2019 (I will never forget this date)
The day of the presentation of my thesis I was very early in the room where I would exhibit my final work, my parents and friends helped me organize everything.
This is the entrance and one of the walls of the room on the day of my final exhibition
I must admit that I did not want anyone to see me presenting this, it was a work so personal and mine that I felt it was like exposing my thoughts and feelings (that was really).
There were tears, lots of tears, my voice broke several times but as I could continue to expose, it was difficult, perhaps one of the few days in which I felt more vulnerable and at the same time stronger. Imagine sharing something that just thinking about it you want to cry publicly and also have to defend it.
During my presentation
But I made it
After the minutes where the jury of my thesis met to discuss my verdict my work was APPROVEEEEEEEEDDDD!!
Oh, I already knew that it would be approved because that is, after your project is approved, it is almost impossible for you to disapprove your thesis, you have worked on it for so long that you know it was worth it, but you do not believe it and it does not materialize that feeling of pride until you hear it publicly, until it materializes on paper, until you see a signed and sealed act that says that you have achieved it.
My closest friends were there, I can't believe they saw me cry so much, today I remember that day laughing but that day I couldn't stop crying guys, seriously, it was an emotional day.
This photo is special because I am with some of my friends and colleagues from the university
I even felt that my parents knew another part of me that they did not know because it is very difficult for me to show my feelings, I always cried hidden as if nobody should know that I cry ... I don't know, I do not like to feel and that they see me vulnerable. It is something that belong to me and it's so personal.
Then I could finally say I FINISHED UNIVERSITY.
This selfie was right on the way home after having presented my thesis, it says: this is how happiness post-thesis looks like
Now there was only waiting for the celebration; My graduation act.
But first I will talk a little about my thesis work, for those who are interested and curious about what I did my research.
It original name is Fragmentos de ausencia, but this is a translation for you to understand the tittle
I share some of the photographs of my work and I quote my thesis verbatim:
It is important that Absence fragments be understood as a personal and intimate theoretical-practical work, which seeks to be seen as a reflection of the current Venezuelan feeling. It has been developed through internal feelings and theorized little by referents with whom symbolic similarities have been established.
Fragmentos de ausencia (Absence fragments) arose from wanting to understand and artistically represent what it feels like when a person has decided to leave, in this context I treat the social fact of voluntary emigration in the Venezuelan population. Latin culture is defined by how close we are in our families, how it is important that our family members participate in our decisions and are present at the most important moments. In this way then one could understand why on this side of the world the separation of the family means something more than it could mean for other cultures.
From a nostalgic feeling this reaction is produced by wanting to create these photographs that attach a series of elements that produce reverie and at the same time is a portrait of the living feeling that runs through the body when we begin to assume the diaspora as something real.
The absence in photography is not literal, because it is not in an emptiness armed intuitively, it goes beyond. It is represented in the skin, in personal belongings, in places, in body expressions, gestures and even in the colors used.
Photography, as we know, is the means we use to freeze time, to treasure memories. When we take an old photograph we sigh and remember that moment with love.
In the photographs I used objects that belong to my family as signs of absence, objects left by their owners. The objects were combined with self-portraits and portraits from the digital manipulation known as collage. In this way, my idea was to integrate the body, and the faces to the things of those who are far away.
For more information about my work you can follow me on my instagram where I develop this project more widely Fragmentos de ausencia
Click here to read my thesis, unfortunately it is only in Spanish for now, I hope to translate it in the future.
Graduation day
Finally came another of the most anticipated days, the super celebration.
December 18, 2019 (another date I will not forget)
I have no words to explain the emotion I felt this day, I woke up early that day because I had two ceremonies, one to sign the book and the other formal for the graduation ceremony where I received my degree and medal.
I could relive that day again and again because it was perfect.
After the first ceremony in the morning, we went to eat and it was a special lunch with my family, we ate at a specialized pasta place in the center of Caracas, that lunch was as delicious as the taste of victory in the face of the whole political situation against which I fought not to give up and drop out my studies.
Special lasagna for special lady
This was just after putting on makeup and dressing for the most anticipated moment
Stage ready
Here we are all who graduate from essential arts, representatives of design, photography, painting, sculpture, mixed media and graphic arts
Obviously it was a very happy moment and we took many pictures together
During the sweet wait I was feeling too anxious
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A few minutes later
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the smile after 5 years in college is the brightest
With the most special people in my family, my parents and my aunt
And after the close of this stage of my life, all that remains is to continue achieving each of my goals, celebrate the achievements, however small they may be, and continue living every day as if I were unique if you can dream it you can achieve it.
If you got here, thanks for reading, I wish you a happy new year and remember, maybe the limit is yourself telling you that you can't
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