Is it normal to not be afraid to die?
I'm probably just writing this because I'm bored working from home or that I'm in denial of being unable to accomplish my goal for the day. But it IS a Monday (for a few more hours at least), so I still have four more days left to work on things and/or maybe procrastinate on them and then finishing it off with an anxiety-fueled outburst.
I got to ask myself this question after the movie, The Theory of Everything popped into my mind a while ago. I guess I really was bored.
Prior this question, I also asked myself the following:
Would life be still worth living if I knew I was going to have a terrible quality of life? If I knew that I had to be dependent on other people for the most basic of tasks for the rest of my life? If I knew that I had to rely on other people who will inevitably resent me for it and be at their mercy?
Stephen Hawking made his choice of course, but hey. That's Stephen Hawking. The guy had way more use to humanity than let's say, someone who is just a normal person like me. Compared to him, I have nothing much to contribute to humanity at all, so I thought that maybe, if I find myself in the same situation as Mr. Hawking then, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to pull the plug a little bit early before things start becoming unbearably difficult.
These are just random thoughts of course, and reflect nothing of my literal worries at the moment. I'm twenty-four as of writing this, and as much as I agree that I have so much to live for, if the same thing happened tomorrow, that's probably how I would want things to go.
Most people would think that to not be afraid of death is a possession of a kind of bravery. Most people would be afraid of what exists on the other side, or the lack of existence rather. I mean it's what motivates people to pursue religion, right? Most people would fight for their lives even if it means sacrificing their state of living.
But is it worrying if I may not fight for it that much when the time comes? Does it mean that I don't find that much value of my life? and more importantly, is this another subconscious cry for help?
How about you: If it was you who had to face a degenerative or terminal illness, how would you go about it?
Roxanne Marie is the twenty-year-old something who calls herself the Protean Creator.
She is a chemical engineer by profession, pole-dancer and blogger by passion and frustration, and lastly, a life enthusiast. She is on a mission to rediscover her truth through the messy iterative process of learning, relearning and unlearning. Currently, she works as a science and research instructor in her hometown, Tagbilaran City, all the while documenting her misadventures, reflections and shenanigans as a working-class millennial here on Hive.
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