I must quit.
I told myself while pulling another cigarette from the box. This is my 16th stick for the day while hiding in the restroom of our 2-bedroom rented flat.
I was once a smoker. I smoke since I was 18 years old (out of curiosity on how it feels like) and stucked for years trying to quit but I ended up losing the battle. I lost count on how many times I tried quitting. There was one time I stopped for almost a month. I was happy, then someone really got me angry and I resorted to smoke again just to well, lessen my anger. Smoking has been my bestfriend for 14 years. It made me calm, my companion on my dark days even with the happy ones. No matter how sick it made me, (sore throats and coughs) and also for my pockets, I still smoked nearly a pack a day. I smoke from the moment I got up, during my lunch break at work and even before I slept. I was a prisoner of my own self. I tried everything I could just to stop the urge. Everytime I bought a pack, it made me feel I was at war with my inner self because I know I must quit but I couldn't control the urge. I have read tips on how to quit smoking, I even printed out some pictures about what smoking does to our body just to discourage me to no avail.
Then one day, I just woke up and I told my husband
I'm going to stop smoking for good.
He just nodded without looking at me, not even convinced with my decision. One of the few decisions that my father and my oldest brother supported (They used to smoke too. My father was the first one in the family who decided to quit smoking. His reason? He wants to live longer for his grandchildren then my brother was next. So the pressure was on me because I was the only one left in the family who smokes.) The first few weeks were hard. The cravings, the mood swings but my husband was with me all throughout. If I have the urge to smoke, I ate chocolates. Since then, it felt like I regain control of myself not the cigarettes anymore. The process was not easy and I didn't expect it to be easy as well, but it made me feel proud of myself. AN ACHIEVEMENT. I was happy to finally get rid of it. I started to gain weight too. A year after, with after so many years of trying to get pregnant, a faint heartbeat was starting to get stronger inside of me. That made me realize God has His own timing. Maybe He was really telling me to take care of myself first for me to take care of my little one.
To those who would like to try, please don't. To those who still smoke, PLEASE STOP not only for you but for your loved ones.
Tips to quit smoking 1
Tips to quit smoking 2
Tips to quit smoking 3
Some helpful tips on how to quit smoking.