Decisions are what make us who we are today. I am still skeptical with fate or destiny. Some would say if it is my fate or destiny it will happen, but it will never really happen if I will not put an effort on it. In the end it is still our choice or our decision that creates our fate or destiny. Nothing is pre-destined, we create our own outcome of the story.
I have made a lot of bad decisions and poor choices in life. One of the worst decision is dropping out from school. I was on my 5th year in College major in Accountancy when I fail one of my major subjects, hence I did not graduate. I have a choice to whether accept my failure and continue or be disheartened and drop everything. Due to my poor choices, letting my emotion win over me, I quit and stopped.
It was a selfish decision and I know how heartbreaking it was for my parents and to all who cares for me. It was heartbreaking for me too and recalling it makes me want to bump my head on a hard wall, so hard that I wont remember this nightmare anymore. I feel so dumb, stupid, imbecile (name it), for choosing not to continue.
Due to this I incurred almost 47,000 php (that's roughly 903 USD or 301 SBD) outstanding balance at school and have to pay that just to continue my studies. The outstanding balance was that high because I did not pay for my tuition anymore after learning that I did not pass one of my major subjects and my ticket to graduate has been forfeited. It is so frustrating and I realized it the hard way. I am now working my arse off just to earn that money and continue my studies. It is not easy, given that I have to shoulder some of the expenses at home. I am not getting any younger at all and that is adding up to the frustration.
I am not destined to fail in life and it is not my fate to be an undergraduate. Destiny or fate shouldn't be painful rather it should be a rejoicing moment. It is not my destiny, it is my choice. If someone could build a time machine (I will definitely marry him for he has invented an awesome tool lol) and I can go back in time, I will go back to that moment when I decided to quit college.
I will make sure to continue my studies and graduate, may it be late. I will make my parents proud. I will march and will go up the stage to receive my diploma. In the end of the program I will switch the tassel to the left and receive my degree. I will throw my mortarboard in joy for the success I achieved.
I am quite teary composing this because I only realized now how important education is. A lot of people are even working while studying just to finance their education. I understand how fulfilling it can be to my parents who have supported me ever since. I have to go back to that moment and correct my choice and decision. I have to!
This is my entry to @coderzairos' If I have a Time Machine Writing Contest. I am thankful for you to initiate a contest like this.
Image Source: Pixabay
