Before I went to church I've been thinking about what to share if ever I got a chance to have a time machine.
The church lesson is about respecting your parents.While listening to the preaching, I convinced myself to share about the time when my mom went abroad.That is the very time that I wanting to bring back.
I was 5 years old then, so young, little, and innocent.Memories that day is still vivid and clear in my mind.We were riding in a tricycle with 3 krys written in front of it Sidecar.I was inside the tricycle together with my dad and my mom was seated at the back of the driver.Even I'm still young back then, yet I am fully aware that mom will go abroad.Tears running down my cheeks, tantrums and saying "don't go, bring me with you".She seated at the back of the driver to con me and perhaps for her to easily jump down from the tricycle and transfer at the bus.Little did I know she's gone from the back seat.
I know for sure, even if I got the chance to bring back the time yet nothing will change.She will still choose to go.I m just a kid back then, innocent, and no nothing but to play and eat.But I want to bring back time not to stop her from going(because for sure she will still go)but I want to bring back time to at least lessen the burden she has in her heart and lessen the dilemma in her mind.I want to make her feel that the path she chose was right.That, it is okay even if she goes (tho deep inside me it's not and hard), but I want her to feel like that for her to not worry so much while away.Saying I understand that she has to go, that I will still love her no matter what and will not plant any hatred for leaving us.That, I will take good care of my little brother and be a good daughter even if she is not around.That, what she is doing is for our family and for my future.At least bringing back that time, she will feel safe and less worried because I understand and a little mature regarding the situation.
But mother will always be a mother, I know for sure she will still feel worried and unsafe.Deep inside her, she is dying and broken.I know, that during the night she can't sleep thinking about us, that every food she put in her mouth she is also thinking if what her children do usually eat if it is nutritious and healthy.Leaving a kid for just a day is hard how much more for years.She had no chance to be with us during our birthdays and special events in our life.She can't prepare our breakfast and goods for school.Even if she deeply wanted to prepare our foods, clothes, and my hair she can't because of the distance in between us.
My two brother's and my father is with me in our house.It is hard to share girly thingy to them of course.For 15 yrs I never had the chance to hug and kiss my mom, that was so hard.I keep longing for her lullabies and soft touches on my hair.The days being so excited to go home to share the story of my day, but no one in our house can understand and feel what I feel.Imagine for 15 yrs, but I understand.I just want my mom not to worry so much while she is far from us, that is what makes me want to bring back time to tell her always that I'm fine and for her not to worry and feel sad from away.
And lastly for her not to get sick from keep on thinking on us.
She went back here in the Philippines last 2014 sick and unsound.But whatever had happened I'm still glad that mom is safe and sound now.That she is with us now.That we had overcome her sickness.
Even if times don't back from the date when my mom went to abroad I'm still glad because those challenges gave me strenght and loved her even more.
