She was in every way my equal. I remember fighting off nerves as we entered the complex where the National Spelling Bee was to be held. She was of course competing for the Spelling contest while I was competing for Vocabulary.
I could feel my teeth clattering and cold sweat running down my temple. My hands clammy and wet, my throat dry and steps leaden. I felt like a cow being led to my death. I was so nervous that I was getting tunnel vision.
Then she held my hand, smiled at me and looking at her brown China eyes I was lost in their warm glow. I was in love.
Neither of us won the top spots but I still felt like a winner.. I was walking on Cloud 9 and wearing a silly grin on my face all the way back to school.
I would not bore you with the endless poems, the late night talks or the first dance that we had during our graduation party. We were young, foolish, naive but in love.
Not to say that everything were made of rainbows and happy thoughts. There would be times that we would split and I would pursue other women but I always came back to her. Always to her.
Fast forward a few years we chanced on meeting again when we crossed paths in a seminar. We exchanged new numbers. Went out for coffees and movies. Returned to an old familiarity of being together and being in love.
They say that love is often sweeter the second time around and it definitely felt that way. Then we started drifting. It started small with us seeing less and less because of projects and work assignments. Dinner plans cancelled because of a meeting going overtime or a planning session moved to a certain important date.
Calls became more infrequent, messages shorter, kisses less happening as we ran towards our professional goals in life that we started neglecting our personal ones. I remember it like yesterday. We were sitting in the park, breathing in the smell of freshly cut grass as kids and dogs played. I remember smiling it was a beautiful day. I remember my phone ringing and she looked at me, her brown China eyes pleading don't pick up.
I silently mouthed the words "I'm sorry" and answered my phone. It was an event for which I had prepared and left a subordinate to deal with but they were calling to ask for help. She silently stared at me as I finished my call. Then she calmly told me she was leaving me. I can see the redness in her brown China eyes. She was anything but calm. She said that she has been thinking of this for quite some time already and this was the proverbial straw breaking the camel's back.
I did not know how to answer. I was already thinking of the event. She turned my gaze back to her brown China eyes that used to make me feel lost. "I'm letting you go." she said and then she started walking away.
I started walking and went to my event.
I've often wondered how my life would have turned out if I did not answer that phone call. Would we still be together and living a life of bliss or would the outcome still be the same albeit delayed.
If I rode a working Time Machine Delorean and went back to that point would I be able to stop myself from answering that call. Would it create an alternate timeline wherein I did not become a workaholic but rather a family man that would have several children, baking pies on Sundays and gazing at her brown China eyes and getting lost and in love.
I never regret any decisions that I have made but this was one of those that gave me pause and think of what if.
Thank you to @coderzairos for running this If I have a Time Machine Writing Contest
