If you know me, then it's likely you know I'm an atheist. I'm not an arsehole atheist, I don't try and dump on people's religion or go out of my way to offend them. However I will happily debate over the existence of god and the insanity of religion with anyone that cares to join me.
Something has changed though . . .
I can now say, without any fear of repercussion or ridicule that I have indeed found my religion.
I am now a member of, no sorry scratch that. I am now a proud member of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, otherwise known as a Pastafarian.
Rules
Every religion has rules (mainly applying to women), such as wearing a headscarf or wig, not showing skin. Praying or chanting at certain times of the day or week, using selected words and a whole host of other rules & regulations.
The best thing about the church of the FSM is that there are no rules, apart from eating pasta when you feel like it, if you don't like pasta, that's fine as well.
Holy Relics
Clearly being a fairly new religion, we don't have a holy book like the Bible, Qu'uran or Dianetics, however we do like Ramen noodles, and we say R'amen at the end of some of our sentences.
Holy Symbols
Whether it's a Spinoza, crucifix or prayer beads, every religion needs physical objects in the real world which have symbolic meaning to the people of that particular religion.
We here at the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are no different, we place special significance in the colander.
In fact, I've just discovered today that there is a schism brewing up in the church over whether to use metal or plastic colanders.
I'm not so sure, I like my metal mesh colander, especially when it comes to draining rice, but my plastic one is much more comfortable to wear!
What to do?
Religious Freedom
To some people religious freedom means being free to force their religion on others. Like creating a religious theocracy and entwining divine law into the political and legal system, or forcing kids to pray in schools.
We view religious freedom a bit differently in that we feel that everyone should be able to believe in whatever the hell they want.
Most of all, we believe you should be free to laugh at how ridiculous we are.
Burden Of Proof
I guess you could say that the only similarity we share with other religions is, if you say something like;
*"...that's silly, your god doesn't exist, you just made it up to point out the fallacy of religion and annoy real religious people."
Our answer to that is simply;
"Prove it!"
Because of course you can't.
So if you can't prove there isn't a Flying Spaghetti Monster who demands we eat pasta (if we feel like it). Then that must clearly mean there is a Flying Spaghetti Monster who would really like us to wear colanders on our heads (if that's what floats our boats).
Sexism
Most modern religion is fairly progressive with how they treat women. Of course there will always be factions who take the words written in their holy books literally. However we here at the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster do not differentiate between a male or female follower.
This is because the FSM has no sex, it's not a he or a she, it's simply an it. This simply means that the FSM has equal amounts of contempt and/or love (we're not sure) for us, regardless of whether we have dangly bits between our legs, or not.
Especially as the Divine Quob was drunk when he created us.
Pirates
We like pirates for some reason.
All Are Welcome!
So come today and join the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We don't actually have any buildings you can go to, or any particular joining ritual (apart from maybe eating a bowl of pasta). Just simply declare FSM as your new religion and you shall be welcomed with open arms my brothers & sisters!
R'amen and Quob be praised!
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was "Arrrgh!"
- Piraticus 13:7
Find out more: Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster - official website
Schism Erupts In Pastafarian Church Over Acceptability Of Plastic Colanders
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A NEW RELIGION TO JOIN? DOES THE CHURCH OF THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER APPEAL TO YOUR SENSIBILITIES? OR PERHAPS YOU ARE AN ATHEIST WHO FEELS LEFT OUT? WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE, AS EVER, LET ME KNOW BELOW!