During the summit push on the Everest Expedition, the route between ABC (21,000 feet) and Camp 1 (23,000 feet) is separated by the iconic North Col Wall which is a sheer wall of ice and snow, which rises 1000 feet high from its base. During the ascent of that steep wall, I was feeling unusually bad and my pace was getting extremely slow. I was not sure what was going on with me. I had climbed this wall 15 days prior for our acclimatisation rotation and I didn't feel this before.
I was somehow able to make it to Camp 1. As soon as I reached, I told my partner Kuntal Joisher that if I don't feel better tomorrow then I am going back. I knew the highest peak in the world was just 2 days away but I was also aware that if I go higher up in this condition, there's a high chance that I might not make it back!
Next morning I was feeling absolutely fine and confident hence I continued with my climb. Everyone has bad days and I am glad my bad day didn't come higher up on the mountain.
The point is, I knew the ultimate goal of my life was so close and I had put in unbelievable amount of hard work, dedication, sacrifice, money into reaching where I was and I was absolutely ready to turn back! My priority was SAFETY OVER SUMMIT!
As you get closer to the summit, the power and the pull of the summit blinds the judgement and priority suddenly shifts. I saw a live example of this during the expedition with a very dear friend who was lucky enough to survive despite making a stupid decision of continuing on despite the slow pace and storm coming in.
To all mountaineering enthusiasts - Having come face to face with death on Everest, having seen a person die in front of me, I can safely say that not Everest, not any mountain is worth risking your life, your fingers or toes for. Don't glorify any mountain upto a point where it will cloud your judgement. If as a mountaineer, you don't have control over your mind where you can prioritise safety over success and turn back when needed, you need to spend some more time sorting your mind out.