Once again it's time for an interesting question by @tribesteemup. This time it's about love, and whether there can ever be too much of it. Is it possible to love someone too much? At first I would immediately reply with a resounding no, shaking my head enthusiastically. How could there ever be too much love? Then, after pausing for a moment, I realize: the matter is way more complex than that. After careful deliberation, I would even admit, that yes, indeed it is possible to love too much, though you could probably argue that it's not the quantity, but the type of love, and whether it's appropriate for a given situation. So let's take a close look at what love actually is:
What Do We Mean by Love?
In our language we use the same word to describe positive sentiments towards a variety of people in a number of different circumstances. There is of course the highly touted romantic love towards the one person we choose as a partner in life. This includes trusting them with our inner secrets, getting joy out of their mere presence, wanting to share our lives with them, and enjoying sexual pleasure. Then there is the platonic love we have towards our friends, or people we like sharing things with up to a certain point. Family love would be another kind, of a parent for their children, or vice versa, or the love of siblings towards each other. Still a further type of love I want to call responsible love, towards people we care for as part of what we do. It's the kind of love that grows out of responsible care, maybe of a coach or a teacher towards their students, or a doctor for their patients. Finally, I want to include universal love, the kind of love you feel towards the whole world, and everyone in it. Each of these types of love is different, and in each case there is a valid question, whether there can be too much of either kind. Let's look at them individually.
Romantic Love - Be Careful Who You Choose
You may think that this type of love is exactly where you should not hold back any of it. If you've found the right partner, you should smother them with all the love you have, and then some more. And yes, there is nothing more wonderful than pouring out all your love for the right person. The gift that keeps giving only makes the love of two people grow stronger, and the more you give the more you have, right? Sure, if it really IS the right person.
What about if you're wrong, though? What if the person who you thought was your dream match turns out to be less interested in you? Or what if their interest fades, or they start developing feelings for someone else? Or even worse, what if they can't or don't want to give back all the love you bestow upon them? In the worst case, they could turn out to be abusive, or take advantage of you in any ways. Is it still a good idea to keep giving them your love? In the end it's you who will suffer most. So I'd say, yes. In such a case there IS such a thing as too much love.
Family Love - Setting Conditions to the Unconditional
When we hear unconditional love it is usually applied to love within the family, especially a mother's love for her children. Wanting to do anything for them seems to be the natural thing, and even if they betray her trust, she is always ready to forgive them, simply because they're her children. Well, at least I hope nobody applies unconditional love to their romantic partner, for the reasons discussed above. But can motherly love be also excessive?
Living in Mexico, it's not uncommon to see this strong love within the family become debilitating when children come of age, and they consider moving out. "What? You want to abandon us?" many mothers exclaim with tears in their eyes, though the same thing can be said about aunts and grandmothers just as well. Fathers and uncles tend to be more reserved in this regard, though the overall culture supports the idea of children living with their parents ... indefinitely really, especially if they don't get married. As a result, there is a whole multitude of young people who neither work, nor study, but hang out "at home," taking advantage of their parents' love. There's even a word for them here: ni-nis, that is neither-nors. So can you blame the parents for loving them too much? Well, I'd call it misplaced emotions, where the adage of "If you love them you'll let them go" hasn't quite been realized.
Of course, this is only one example, and people within a family can be abusive to each other in many different forms. Parents to their children, siblings to each other, not just children to their parents. So, while it may be natural to feel unconditional love towards people in your family, I'd say a healthy love should always be tied to certain conditions.
Responsible Love - Save It For Those Who Deserve It
Moving on to settings where love towards a person doesn't derive from the personal relationship with them, but through the work one does. Can this still be called love? Sure, why not? I do feel a certain closeness towards my students, or towards my customers I sell kombucha to. I cater to their needs, I'm happy if they understand something, I'm willing to go the extra mile for them, and I suffer with them if things don't go so well. It's a completely different type of love than I'd have towards my wife or my mom, but it IS love. And it goes way beyond the love for my fattening wallet.
With these kinds of work relationships it's important to keep in mind, when to go the extra mile, and when not to. Does your student put in the effort they need to succeed? If not, why should you as a teacher do more than the basic minimum? Otherwise it could happen too easily that you find yourself taking up way more responsibility than you should, and as a result get taken advantage of. On the other hand, if you see that the person you're working with is willing to knuckle down and make the necessary sacrifices, it will be so much more pleasurable to pour out all you effort and dedication (=love) as well.
Universal Love - Love the World in a Smart Way
Some may argue that this last type is not even love at all. If you love everyone, than that's like not loving anyone in particular. The way I see it, though, this may be the one kind of love we could really have a lot more of, simply because it is so all-encompassing.
Okay, but how are you supposed to love the really horrible people? Let's say, like the driver this morning, who honked at me for trying to cross on a zebra crossing intended for pedestrians, while yelling some ugly things at me about my mom. (I guess I must have been in his way...) How can I love him? Well, I think it's not that hard: I smiled and waved to him (taking care not to provoke him further by throwing kisses), and at the same time I wished for him well to learn to be a more pleasant traffic participant. If nothing else, this made me feel better, but who knows... it may have other unforeseen effects, possibly even arriving at its originally intended purpose.
Certainly, I would not invite him to my next party, and I'd even be careful about trusting him with such a minute thing as an umbrella. Still, I'm not stingy with my love, even towards someone like him. This may also be the reason why this type of love the easiest to give.
Conclusion
Oh, no! I forgot to discuss the platonic love in detail! But I've written so much already, and I'm sure you can fit it in somewhere between the other kinds of love. The basic concept is pretty much the same: Give as much love as you can, as long as it won't make you suffer for it. After all, you don't want your love to wither away, instead you want to let it grow, so you'll have more to give.
Please check out these great communities I'm contributing to:
#ecotrain | What is EcoTrain | Discord Community
#tribesteemup |The 8 Pillars of @TribeSteemUp
#team-mexico | Discord Community
#cyclefeed | Introducing CycleFeed | Discord Community