Esteemed Master and fellow practitioners;
First, I would like to share about a hint that I received.
One night, during the first weeks of deciding to cultivate in Falun Dafa, I was awakened by a neighbour’s sick child, screaming in a room adjoining mine. The screaming carried on for a long time. I became increasingly more annoyed and started wondering why the mother did not take care of the child, and why the child had so much energy to scream endlessly. I moved around in my bed wide-awake and became increasingly annoyed.
Yet at some point, it dawned on me: “Oh my, I believe it said in Zhuan Falun that a practitioner should not get angry, but should practice forbearance.” This thought helped me to gradually let go of my anger. Then I had another thought, “A practitioner should thank those who create such aggravating situations, as they provide opportunities to raise one’s xinxing.” Thus, I thanked the child in my mind.
This line of thought was completely new for me; I wasn’t sure if it was right. Thus I asked in my mind, “Master, please give me a hint whether this is for me to improve on my cultivation path.” Immediately after this thought, there was some kind of inner response in the form of a question, “What kind of sign?” I answered, “It doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary, just something that addresses my need.” In response to this thought, I felt a tremendous energy flow running though my body and my entire body was then covered in goose bumps. I have never felt anything so intensive and strong in my life. It was as if every cell in my body told me, “Yes, this is right.” It was clear to me that I had received the sign that I had asked for. I felt good and I went back to sleep, although the child continued to scream on and off.
It has been two years now since I have been cultivating earnestly.
My Understanding of Compassionately Saving Sentient Beings
I moved to Hamburg in early 2016. I looked for local practitioners and joined their truth-clarification activities. At the Chinese Consulate, I saw that these practitioners’ vigil was completely different from others that I had experienced. Even when I was only with one other person there, I felt a strong energy field when doing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts. Besides, the honking of horns by cars passing by us was a clear indication that our activity was for sentient beings; they are given the opportunity and chance to live in the future by positioning themselves.
Until recently, I’ve mainly been involved in our information booths and have been prioritizing it in my life. The project has given me even stronger feelings about reaching more people. I’m often there from set-up to set-down and never really take a break. If I stop for a sip of water or a bite of food, I’m immediately filled with the need to give out more fliers, and talk to people about Dafa and the persecution. I have no real desire to do the exercises there, as I feel that while I exercise, a sentient being might miss his or her predestined chance to live in the future. While there, I am always filled with a marvellous feeling of joy. I can smile to passers-by most of the time. Sometimes, my desire to reach people and the joy of clarifying the truth were so strong that almost everybody accepted a flier, and I could talk to many people about Dafa.
However, I experienced negative factors and thoughts at times, which tried to drag me down. Yet, during this phase, sending forth righteous thoughts helped eliminate these factors rather quickly. Besides, it helped me understand the Fa taught in Zhuan Falun, Lecture Five by Master, “One righteous mind can subdue one hundred evils.”
My strongest motivation and commitment to working at the information booth came from clarifying the truth to people. Many people encourage us, saying that they were impressed with our dedication. It often appeared to me as if people’s knowing sides understood the importance of our presence and were thankful from their heart.
Once in a while, my body experienced a sign that sentient beings had been saved; I experienced it during discussions, when saying goodbye, or when shaking someone’s hand. A strong energy current would pass through my body and all my cells vibrated. Such experiences are, to this day, a huge motivation for me to speak to people about Dafa and the persecution.
However, over time, some of my understandings have changed. For example, I now feel that I can also clarify the truth through doing the exercises, because Chinese tourists can see that there are Western practitioners of different ages. People of all nationalities can benefit from the positive field of Dafa. Besides, the exercises help me to calm down.
Once, passers-by stopped in front of us as we were doing the second exercise. One of them said, “They really are in a deeply quiet state.” They were truly impressed that the busy, hectic and noisy surroundings could not stop us from achieving tranquillity.
However, recently, I no longer feel as joyful when participating in the information booths; I feel pushed to do something else. There is a new project that was launched recently. It is the “You Tube Channel” project, which is intended to reach the masses. I have conflicting thoughts—“Should I go and work on the new project, or is there something that keeps me at the information booth?” Once I start talking to people, the joy and wish to clarify the truth about Dafa at the booth is ignited straight away. Yet I feel torn, because I want to be involved in both projects. The new project is very time consuming. It makes it difficult for me to go to the information booth.
Awakening Memories that I had Searched for my Entire Life
I read Touring North America to Teach the Fa (2002), on the recommendation of a fellow practitioner, and was reminded about a situation from a previous life.
I had found myself in a cosmic space, confined into a specific area. There, I talked with a sentient being about my present life and the associated arrangements.
I had arrived in that cosmic space too late to be assigned to the life which I had chosen. I wanted to be born in the country in which the spreading of the Fa would originate. I was certain that there would be many opportunities there. But I was too late, as all assignments for China had been given out. I was worried that I may not understand the deep connotations of the Fa in a different language and in a country far from where I wanted to be. However, I was told that there would be absolutely no problem. Anyway, I could always learn the language that would be originally used during the introduction of Dafa into the world. To be honest, I still remember that I had thought that the Western writing—compared to Chinese characters—was not aesthetic.
Then, a list of lives—already arranged—passed by my eyes. With the recommendation of the being that I had been talking to, who felt that the arrangement “looked quite good,” we agreed on the present arrangement—which is my life now.
Nevertheless, I was not really happy with the selection, but there was no better prospect.
We discussed the circumstance—which basic conditions would be prepared for me and what traits I would have. We also discussed in more detail, some of the stages in my life.
Given the prospects provided by my family, I had understood that it would take me at least 20, if not 25 years to obtain the Fa and begin to cultivate. I had wanted to negotiate for the best opportunities and asked if I could be born into a practitioner’s family. However, I had arrived too late for that. If I hadn't accepted the arrangement, it would not have been possible for me to cultivate in this particular phase of Dafa’s spreading—this was something of great importance to me.
I worried about the way I would be introduced to the Fa. I was told that I would learn about the Fa through a circle of friends and that this was a great and beneficial arrangement. However, I held the thought that there was a risk that those who were supposed to help me gain the Fa would not be given the Fa. I was told not to worry about that—everything would be fine. However, I found out that I had to recognize the Fa for what it was.
We also looked at the arrangement made for earning my livelihood. It was of importance that I had no financial difficulties, meaning that I could devote all my time to my cultivation. Besides, I did not want to earn too much money, as this could be detrimental to my cultivation fundamentals—I thought that material advantages could be of a disadvantage to my cultivation. It should be just enough to provide a decent living and not have to worry.
When we had reached those agreements, we then came to discuss enlightenment ability and attachments. As for attachments, I had started taking away some thick substances that had existed in my memories. I had gained these abilities for the sake of eliminating my attachments and for the improvement of my cultivation.
I had tried using some substances to weaken my attachments. However, it hadn't been as easy as I had expected, because when one attachment had been taken away, another was strengthened. It had been impossible to reduce all my attachments, as it would have made my cultivation far too easy and thus, would have been of no value to my cultivation journey. Therefore I was left with one particular attachment that would be very strong.
But I was rather confident that I would be able to let go of this particular strong attachment without problems. I was told not to underestimate this issue. Today, it is clear to me what this all meant.
When it comes to certain times in my life, I have been experiencing some memories since January 2016. They were meant to remind me of my attachments. It happened when passing an examination or when meeting a particular person. I will try to explain it here.
Once, I attended a seminar arranged by my work place. I thought that the lecturer had not done well in his presentation. I was certain that I could have done much better. I felt especially strongly that the lecture could have been more informal and relaxed. I then decided that I would give some seminars too, after being in my job for a few years—and I would definitely do a much better job of it!
When fantasizing about this, I realized for the first time in my cultivation that I had a strong ego. I also found that I was a fighter, craved recognition, was arrogant and had a show off mentality. I cleared my mind—“I'm a practitioner and I don't want to think like that. These are things that I must give up.” Subsequently, I remembered my previous experience in the cosmic space and about this strong attachment. I felt clearheaded. It was a rather important moment. If I hadn't recognized it at the time, I may have taken quite a while finding this attachment at another opportunity.
Another time, during my first meeting with another practitioner, I was suddenly reminded of something about him. This unremarkable, calm and unimposing practitioner had been a great king. I could even remember his charming and powerful figure.
When he gave me a suggestion during the fifth exercise, I realized that I had selected which suggestion he would give me during my cultivation. There were different kinds of suggestions for me to choose from. But, I could not just choose any one willy-nilly.
I thought that it would be beneficial to remember as many details as possible from my time in the cosmos, which would help me to remain steadfast. So I had been placing great value on what I could remember. However, I was told that I should not only consider memories. Today, I can understand this quite well and am grateful for all suggestions. There are also times when my memory is foggy and sometimes they even disappear. Later, they come back and become quite clear. However, it’s difficult to put these memories into a certain order or to record them. I believe that they appear when most needed.
At times, the memories return regarding certain aptitudes. If I remember correctly, the appearance of such arrangements happen for a reason. They don't appear if the conditions are not ripe; they appear so we can complete a task assigned to us.
Master says about the issue of pursuit in Zhuan Falun, Lecture Two: “The Buddha School believes in predestined relationship. Everyone comes here because of a predestined relationship. If you obtain it, perhaps you are supposed to have it. You should therefore treasure it and not be attached to any pursuit.”
At a particular time, further memories come to the forefront. Thus, I know that this particular issue has happened just as it was ordained and arranged. This tells me the importance of fulfilling our tasks well, because only then can we complete the arrangement well.
Concluding Remark
Before I started practising Falun Dafa, I asked myself when meditating, “What do I want?” After I pondered the question, I came to the following answer:
“I want to do good things and help humanity.” At that time, I understood this superficially. For example, opening the door for someone, etc. I believed that good deeds would result in good rewards. Today, I understand the significance of the answer I received when meditating.
Whenever I face something difficult in my cultivation which brings me close to giving up, I have two basic thoughts that keep me steadfast:
“I know that I chose this life and wanted it, including all of its difficulties and inconveniences. Because of this, I get the chance to truly be good and really help people.”
Before closing, I would like to share Master's Fa in “Inscription for the Russian Version of Falun Dafa” from Essential for Further Advancement II,
"Cherish it!
The vows of Gods are being fulfilled;
Cherish it!
This is what you have been searching for;
Cherish it!
The Fa is right in front of you."
Thank you for allowing me to share my cultivation experience.