Russophile [ˈrʌsəˌfaɪl] (Noun): a primate of similar appearance to Homo Sapiens but with significantly reduced cognitive skills, which can watch a country invade another under demonstrably false pretexts and insist that those who rally to the aid of the invaded country are "warmongers" and that the invader is the victim.
Habitat: India, Serbia, Hungary, and dark basements in the West.
Diet: consists primarily of crayons and Kremlin propaganda.
"Some truly bad ideas have remarkably long shelf lives. One such idea is the claim that NATO enlargement somehow caused Russia to unleash a full-scale genocidal war against Ukraine.
Unsurprisingly, underlying this belief is an openly apologetic tone bordering on moral indifference: The poor Russians and their strongman president, Vladimir Putin, are merely responding to perceived Western threats, so don’t blame them for starting a war or engaging in atrocities.
The key word is perceived. It is surely possible that the Kremlin genuinely believes Russia is under Western assault. After all, Adolf Hitler truly believed Jews constituted a threat to Aryan civilization. But there is no accounting for unhinged and paranoid worldviews, especially when the measurable reality is radically different, and neither NATO nor Ukraine can be held responsible for Moscow inhabiting an alternative universe."
-Alexander Motyl
Facts?! Ain't Nobody Got Time Fo' Dat!
"And in the case of Russia's sycophants, that claim was that the war was Russia's somehow-legitimate response to 'provocation' by NATO, a claim which will usually contain some form of the phrase 'NATO's Constant Eastward Expansion.'"
Imagine, for a moment: your ex, who you divorced 33 years ago after a long and abusive marriage, unfortunately lives right next door to you. Now imagine said ex breaking into your house and shooting your family. Now imagine that when you call the cops they say they don't want to confront the guy who broke in because it would supposedly start World War 3, but they promise to send you a PR-24 baton, a tazer, a gun with a few mags, and a can of mace...
...eventually.
Now imagine that you somehow hold off the home-invader long enough for these to arrive. Then when you begin using them, the guy who broke into your house, shot your family and claimed that the house had always been his anyway, accuses the cops of using you as a tool of aggression against him and insists that he broke into your house to "liberate" you, from the "constant expansion" of the Neighborhood Watch group (consisting mostly of other neighbors who have also been routinely abused by the same ex) that they claim was an "imperialist threat" to them.
If you're stupid enough to think the ex in this story has a valid point, then you're one of the throwbacks who is still claiming Russia is the freedom fighter in this struggle. Discussion complete.
And one would think that in an age where real-time, first-hand knowledge is so readily available, one would have to work hard to maintain that impressive level of deliberate ignorance. Yet, a staggering number of "people," if you want to call them that, still do.
For example, when Russia's leaders claimed the war currently raging on Ukrainian soil between Russian invaders and the nation they have openly denied the existence of (Perrigo), was "unleashed upon Russia (CBS Staff), using the Ukrainian People," even the foreign minister from India (one of Russia's most slavishly devoted bootlickers) groaned (Kim). And yet, despite the fact that the entire world watched in real-time barely more than a year prior as the polar opposite occurred, there were plenty of Russia's brainless sycophants throughout the world, including here in the West, who obediently echoed this demonstrably-batshit claim.
https://twitter.com/ArtfulDengler/status/1653965456334569472
- ArtfulDengler
https://twitter.com/ericengy/status/1653903516879015941
- ericengy
Now, I am truly not sure which of the three woolly mammoths in this room we should discuss first: the fact that NATO didn't send a single piece of equipment to Ukraine until some months AFTER Russia's invasion (so for NATO to have started the war would require the Russian invasion force to be time travelers), the "Proxy War" claim, which asserts that Ukrainians do not actually have any agency in the defense of their homeland against an invader and would only resist Russia if NATO put them up to it (a claim which dies a brutal death after even the most cursory conversation with absolutely any Ukrainian on the planet, bar-none), or the fact that prior to the war there was never a serious proposal ANYWHERE to actually allow Ukraine into NATO other than the token promises of "yeah, eventually... maybe" that NATO likes to hand out like Hallmark cards.
Of course, many of Russia's still-faithful-supporters were eager to accept the claim that the war was started by NATO, because it doesn't matter how easy it is to prove a claim false as long as that claim dovetails with the chorus one has been echoing for years. And in the case of Russia's sycophants, that claim was that the war was Russia's somehow-legitimate response to "provocation" by NATO, a claim which will usually contain some form of the phrase "NATO's Constant Eastward Expansion."
With that having been said, let's have a look at NATO's (ahem) "Constant, Eastward, Expansion."
You Do Know Which Way 'East' Is, Right?
"Some of the Russians who are being sent to die in the act of committing war crimes in a non-NATO country, pretending to fight 'NATO Expansionism,' were not yet born the last time NATO expanded Eastward."
The Krem-lie that NATO provoked the war, is a popular one. From the Pope (Roberts) to John Mearsheimer (who can always be counted on to jump on any bandwagon that blames the US for anything) to the Eisenhower Network (Fritz et. al.), it has become the go-to line for anyone who wants to prove they are an "independent thinker... just like everyone else." It's truly a sad world when an editorial columnist writing for The Hill (Motyl) makes more sense than the leader of the Catholic Church and a US think-tank whose suggestions are listened to by people in Washington with access to nukes.
The first and most obvious problem with this line of thinking is that Ukraine has never been part of NATO.
The only time they ever actually applied for membership, they were turned down flat (Taylor), specifically for the purpose of not provoking Putin (who later decided to consider himself provoked anyway because... insert KGB reasoning here). In other words, the West spinelessly caved in to Putin's demands in order to avoid a Russian attack, and Russia attacked anyway. That should shut down the "if we make concessions there will be peace" argument in a single blow, but Russophiles are not so easily silenced by petty details like reality. Moving on.
The second problem is that the phrase "NATO expansion" implies that the speaker thinks NATO is annexing countries by pressuring them to join. The opposite is true. NATO's entire charter is designed for exclusivity. Countries have to apply for admission in order to be considered and since admission requires a UNANIMOUS "yes" vote from every member, it's hard as hell to get in because all it takes is one member saying no to derail the admission. Just ask Sweden (Detsch and Gramer).
The third problem with this thinking is the complete absence, from all of Human history, of a single NATO attack ever launched against any part of Russia.
The fourth is that if NATO is such an existential threat to Russia, why did both the Russian Federation (Rankin) and the Soviet Union (Wikipedia) (1) try to join it?
The fifth is that every country that has applied to join NATO since the collapse of the Soviet Union has been a former victim of Russian occupation, seeking entry for the expressly stated purpose of resisting further aggression by Russia. If we go back to the "abusive ex" analogy from the beginning of this article, for Russia to claim they are the aggrieved party here is the equivalent of the abusive ex seeing that all his battered exes are joining the same neighborhood watch group and citing this as evidence that he is being bullied, and thus attacking one of his long line of battered women who hasn't joined.
The sixth is that every time a country has been granted admittance to NATO since 2009 has been an immediate response to a Russian invasion nearby. If you break into your neighbor's house so another neighbor buys a gun, you don't get to sue them for buying it by claiming it is proof that they are planning to shoot you. Albania and Croatia applied and were fast-tracked in 2009, citing Russia's invasion of Georgia as the reason. Montenegro was fast-tracked in 2017, as a response to Russia's 2014 invasion of Ukraine's Crimea and Donbas. Finland spent decades adamantly refusing to pursue NATO membership, until the invasion of Ukraine prompted them to change their mind. If NATO is this expansionist power that Vladimir Putin tries to portray it as, then NATO owes him a recruiter's commission.
And yet, there is an even bigger and more glaringly obvious flaw in this assertion that the Muscovy Regime's Special Genocide Operation is some kind of response to NATO expansion in their direction. The cold, hard reality is that prior to the assault on Ukraine, the last time NATO expanded toward Russia, was 2004. In other words, Some of the Russians who are being sent to die in the act of committing war crimes in a non-NATO country, pretending to fight 'NATO Expansionism,' were not yet born the last time NATO expanded Eastward (Stewart & Sharman).
That rumbling sound you hear right now is a stampede of Krem-bots and drooling Russophiles who didn't know where Ukraine was until Tass told them where to look, on their way to prove their ignorance by copying and pasting some bollocks spouted by Russian State Media in an attempt to refute what I've just said. Argue with the map, Ivan.
So Here's The "ExIsTeNtIaL tHrEaT" Putin Was Barking About
"(The) 'it's because of NATO expansion' argument hinges upon the idea that the alliance's addition of four nations not even close to Russia... was an 'existential threat' to Russia, and they lashed out in 'self-defense' by attacking a non-NATO member who applied for membership and was rejected."
The only nations that have been granted admission to NATO in all the years since 2004 (other than Finland, which joined as a DIRECT RESULT of the Ukraine invasion) were a handful of Balkan states lying to the WEST of NATO's front line, closer to England than they are to Russia. They were Albania, Croatia, Montenegro, and North Macedonia.
Albania has 8,000 troops and a military budget of $289 million USD.
Croatia, 18,000 troops and a military budget of $1.308 billion USD.
Montenegro, 12,000 troops and a military budget of $98 million USD.
And finally, North Macedonia, 16,000 troops and a military budget of $265.2 million USD)
In total, all the countries added to NATO between 2004 and the invasion Putin tried to justify as "defense against a threat from NATO," have 54,000 troops and a combined military budget of $1.96 billion USD. That's roughly 1.5 times the manpower, and one fifth the budget, of (checks notes)...
...the New York Police Department.
Not "the Russian Army." The NYPD. A single city's paramilitary law enforcement force. (2) And again, these four countries are roughly 2,000 km from Russia by the shortest route. This is the big so-called buildup of NATO's military infrastructure, that Vladimir Putin called "a real threat not just to our interests, but to the very existence of our state, its sovereignty (The Spectator)."
So, the "it's because of NATO expansion" argument hinges upon the idea that the alliance's addition of four nations not even close to Russia, whose combined military can be compared to the NYPD, was an "existential threat" to Russia, and they lashed out in "self-defense" by attacking a non-NATO member who applied for membership and was rejected. Imagine how Russia would quake in their boots if we'd sent the Shriners too.
And this has all been brought to you by the same government who were terrified by a so-called "paramilitary religious extremist group" you might have heard of... called the Salvation Army (Keston). I suppose it won't be long before they declare the Boy Scouts of America to be a successor to the Hitler Youth and use that lame line to justify a "sPeShUl MiLaTaReE oPeRaYsHuN" against imaginary "Nazis" in... I don't know, let's say Armenia.
And you know, their faithful little drooling sycophants will buy it.
(1) I hate using Wikipedia as a source but I'm in a bit of a time crunch here. Since this particular article is well-sourced I'll grit my teeth and use the damned thing this time.
(2) Excuse the fact that data in this section is not given parenthetical notation or included in the "Works Cited" section but I'm in a bit of a rush here. Links are still provided)
Works Cited
CBS Staff. "Putin falsely claims it was West that 'started the war' in Ukraine almost a year after he ordered invasion." CBS News. 21 Feb, 2023. Web. 11 June, 2023. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/putin-ukraine-war-speech-today-blames-us-nato-after-one-year-invasion/
Fritz, Dennis; Hoh, Matthew; Astore, William J; Kwiatkowski, Karen; Laich, Dennis; Matlock, Jack; Pierce, Todd E; Rowley, Coleen; Sachs, Jeffrey; Sorensen, Christian; Spinner, Chuck; Wheeler, Winslow; Wilkerson, Lawrence B; Wright, Ann. "The U.S. Should Be a Force for Peace in the World." Eisenhower Media Network. March, 2022. Web. 12 June, 2023. https://eisenhowermedianetwork.org/russia-ukraine-war-peace/
Detsch, Jack & Gramer, Robbie. "Sweden Pushes to Fast-Track Delayed NATO Bid." 7 Foreign Policy. 7 June, 2023. Web. 12 June, 2023. https://foreignpolicy.com/2023/06/07/sweden-push-join-nato-turkey-erdogan-russia/
Keston News Service. "Moscow Bans Salvation Army." Christianity Today. 12 Nov, 2001. Web. 12 June, 2023. https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2001/november12/18.32.html
Kim, Juliana. "Russia's foreign minister gets laughed at over Ukraine remarks at a global conference." NPR. 4 Mar, 2023. Web. 11 June, 2023. https://www.npr.org/2023/03/04/1161128415/russia-foreign-minister-lavrov-laughed-at
Mearsheimer, John. "Why the Ukraine Crisis Is the West’s Fault."Mearsheimer.com. September 2014. Web. 12 June, 2023. https://www.mearsheimer.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Why-the-Ukraine-Crisis-Is.pdf
Motyl, Alexander J. "NATO didn’t cause Russia to invade Ukraine." The Hill. 23 May, 2023. Web. 12 June, 2023. https://thehill.com/opinion/international/4017093-nato-didnt-cause-russia-to-invade-ukraine/
Perrigo, Billy. "How Putin's Denial of Ukraine's Statehood Rewrites History." Time. 22 Feb, 2023. Web. 11 June, 2023. https://time.com/6150046/ukraine-statehood-russia-history-putin/
Rankin, Jennifer. "Ex-Nato head says Putin wanted to join alliance early on in his rule." The Guardian. 4 Nov, 2021. Web. 12 June, 2023. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/nov/04/ex-nato-head-says-putin-wanted-to-join-alliance-early-on-in-his-rule
Roberts, Hannah. "Pope says NATO may have caused Russia’s invasion of Ukraine." Politico. 3 May, 2022. Web. 11 June, 2023. https://www.politico.eu/article/pope-francis-nato-cause-ukraine-invasion-russia/
The Spectator Staff. "Full text: Putin’s declaration of war on Ukraine." The Spectator. 24 Feb, 2022. Web. 13 June, 2023. https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/full-text-putin-s-declaration-of-war-on-ukraine/
Stewart, Will & Sharman, Laura. "Russia buries 18-year-old teen soldier - its youngest victim of Ukraine war." 11 Mar, 2022. Web. 11 June, 2023. https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/russia-buries-18-year-old-26442208
Taylor, Adam. "That time Ukraine tried to join NATO — and NATO said no." Washington Post. 4 Sept, 2014. web. 12 June, 2023. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2014/09/04/that-time-ukraine-tried-to-join-nato-and-nato-said-no/
Wikipedia. "Warsaw Pact." Web. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warsaw_Pact . Accessed 12 June, 2023.