The automobile. One of the keystone inventions of the past few hundred years which helped us move forward in nearly all aspects of the way humans conduct their day to day activities, move freight, deploy goods and extend the range of their services.
Most automobiles are quite pleasing to look at.. Some may even say that the well designed, higher end sports cars have better curves than most women. However every so often due to either terrible trends, poor body design or someone trying to pull off something new and "unique" an automotive atrocity is born. This new series will look into and bring fourth some of humanities absolute most ridiculous looking vehicles from modern times all the back to the classic car era.
2000 BMW M Coupe
BMW has been a higher end car maker for a long time. Most of their companies offerings are quite pretty to look at but every so often something slips past their normal standard of making beautiful cars and they release an absolute ugly bastardardized vehicle like the one you see above. The body lines on this coupe are basically backwards with the hood and front end looking almost as if they'd brought it in from another vehicle then tacked a Honda Civic style passenger compartment to it.. Needless to say when I think about BMW I don't expect something terrible like this to be put fourth.
1974 Lotus Elite
Lotus is a higher end car manufacturer that has been building cars for a long time. The newer Lotus offerings are absolutely beautiful! However it wasn't always this way, with a number of their older vehicles looking like someone's Ferrari had a one night stand with an AMC Gremlin or something along those lines.. From the front they are not too terrible.. But that rear end makes me giggle to mask my disgust.
1991 BMW 850i
When the designer of the mutant above created this I've honestly no idea what was going through their minds... While it does sport the classic BMW grill style the fact it's smooshed and shrank then crowned with pop up headlights just screams wrong! A "Beemer" and a firebird had a freaky meet up in a dirty truck stop bathroom stall and this monster was the outcome.. Or the designer of this car was waaaaaay to high on something bad. Not sure to be honest!
1973 Volkswagen Thing
Aerodynamics were more than common knowledge in the early 70's leaving me to scratch my head at what the hell the designers at Volkswagen were thinking when they threw together this boxy looking commuter car. Something reminiscent of the Hitler era cars I guess? Either way this "Thing" ain't pretty from any angle.
1962 Chevrolet Corvair Greenbrier
The need to transport the entire soccer team must have been the goal when Chevy designed this bad boy.. Sporting not 8, not 10, but 12> freaking windows you can imagine no passenger would be able to miss any of the country side as you barreled down the highway in this 80 horsepower metal box on wheels. While it does have a certain charm to it.. It's still butt ugly. On a side note only the most forward seats in the front had seat belts.. Lots of windows, lack of seatbelts... You get what I'm saying.
1952 Crosley Super Station Wagon
The folks at Crosley must have been absolutely fucking drunk off their asses when they signed off on this design and put it into production. Above are not one but 2 lovely pictures highlighting how ridiculous looking this car is. The body lines fall somewhere between an old Willys look and a hearse but not really doing well at either look. While the front is butt ugly the minimalist rear of the car was the icing on the cake for me personally.. I can almost hear the designer going "ah, fuck it, good enough" as he was putting it together.
1987 Ferrari Mondial 3.2 Cabriolet
Ferrari makes some of the most beautiful sports cars in the world.. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM. Between the lackluster body lines and the ridiculous mid way mounted hood grill it's not only a prime example of an automotive atrocity but also a testament to proving that not all high end sports car manufacturers make pretty cars all the time. Some may find this car ascetically pleasing.. I think we call those people blind or vision impaired up here in Canada.
1974 Lamborghini Espada
Lamborghini generally makes really beautiful sports cars.. leaving me to wonder what exactly happened in the design process of the Espada to end up with the travesty of a car we see above. The front end is passable but that rear end design makes me want to vomit in my mouth a little bit out of disgust. Almost looks like they decided to try to make something unique and new but then gave up half way through and sent it into production.
2000 Bentley Arnage Red Label
When one thinks bentley the first thing that comes to mind is a Luxurious vehicle with good body lines and a very sleek look.. When I saw this thing I nearly choked on my own tongue and laughed for a good 3 minutes.. Holy f*cking hell is that ugly both from the front and back! I guess nothing says "I'm rich, bitch" than driving around in what almost looks like a cheap chinese knock off of what I consider the classic Bentley look.. Even if it is an expensive luxury vehicle I can't say I'd want to be caught dead in one of these hideous things.. Oh yeah.. MSRP on this ugly bastard is $210,000 USD.
1991 Alfa Romeo SZ
A failed attempt to make a futuristic looking car is what I'd have to summarize the "beauty" above as. While Alfa Romeo makes some really slick looking vehicles I'm not sure what the hell happened here. The front is ugly, the back is downright atrocious.. Leading me to believe that they'd attempted to get a compact sports car built with their design but ended up with the bastardized thing you see above.
This Concludes Volume 1.. Hope You Enjoyed!
