In spite of what happened that weekend, there’s still a lot I need to flushed up out of me.
I know I can’t be this happy or clean. I mean, I was meant to be crashed all along. I guess? Like the other trips which I have gotten my genuine happiness.
This time, I’ve got my revenue from the genuine solitude I’ve worked hard for- I’ve got real sick.
But it’s not a big deal.
Mt. 387 is something I can’t have out of an ordinary day. It was a wonderful experience.
…
“The world is so beautiful, but why it is so hard to live?”
That was the question, I begged for an answer. I can’t stop the tears streaming on my face. They are flowing with the cold droplets of rain, and the gloomy mist around me.
Lucky for me that I had the chance to make myself a lone time.
I’ve got my spot. I placed my heart on my sleeves and let it rest; and let it question the word… the universe rather. :)
I was so anxious, so confused, and so afraid.
I don’t even want to know who I want to be. Not because I’m afraid that other people won’t like me, but because I am afraid that I might not like me.
“The world is so beautiful, but why it is so hard to live?”
I can’t stop asking the wind, the trees, the clouds and what’s not. But it felt like the Universe keeps on turning its back when my heart talks.
Maybe I was alone. I asked for it. Maybe I was gone, form the things I wanted to flee from. But I realized, I was never away from myself, which I hate the most.
Why there are black holes? Why does a star die, when it all does is to shine?
…
“The world is so beautiful, but why it is so hard to live?”
I can’t have an answer. Maybe I will never have.
But I shoot an imaginary arrow, farther than what I can see. Like a dart thrown on a map. I must look for it, and that’s where I will see myself again.
Maybe I’ll ask him the same question. And maybe I’ll have the answer.
But if not, I will still keep on shooting and looking and waiting.
Before I know it- maybe, just maybe, somebody else would tell me why.
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