The Unexpected Journey Update
8 months ago I started a journey, a journey of self discovery, self acceptance, and jumping as far out of my comfort zone as humanly possible in an attempt to find comfort in my own skin. I decided to name it my #unexpectedjourney and made a mental list of some of the things I wanted to do.
While it started as just a few random thoughts, it has turned into something much, much more. It's become a part of me, and my story.. which I decided in that same moment, to share with all of you. The goal being, that maybe, just maybe, by putting myself out there and sharing my story it would encourage others to start down their own path of self discovery... to find their better self somewhere along the way.
I realized it would be a good idea to do an update, to self reflect as well as share the process here...* as that was part of the deal.*
Warning: This is a long one, and mostly just to have a blockchain record as an update for this challenge.. I don't really expect any of you to read it all the way through!
How it all started
On a train where random thoughts turned into my first "shit post", which inspired the idea of this journey...
Life is a journey that is always changing, evolving and testing your limits. I believe things happen for a reason and that we all fall down from time to time, the important thing is that we get back up. We have all had our trials, errors and made mistakes along the way, I know I have.. but it’s what we learn from those mistakes that makes or breaks us.
It’s about understanding that we are all broken, every single one of us... but how will we put ourselves back together? Will we follow the same pattern as before, or try something new? Make the same mistakes again or maybe make different mistakes, better mistakes? Be the same person we were before, or be the best person we can possibly be? It is our choice after all.
I’ve decided I am going to try something new, step out of my comfort zone and grab life by every beautiful moment that crosses my path. Do things I would never consider doing before, and also take on those things I’ve always wanted to do...but never made the time or had the courage to do.
Life begins when we stop worrying about the what if’s and instead start embracing the right now’s. Let’s embrace the brokenness, stop pretending we are perfect... and instead, start living...
My Unexpected Journey Starts Here...
When will yours begin?
The idea came due to things that had happened in the last year of my life and realizing that I wanted to do things differently, and what better place than to start with myself? After all, I may not be able to control the world.. but I can control myself and how I respond to the world.. as well as how I interact with it.
After the inspiration, I decided my goals.. and then somehow came to the crazy conclusion that part of this would be to share it here on Steem, with all of you which became ...
My Unexpected Journey
The Overview
The idea is to be more myself, to explore who I really am and be more confident in my own skin... while also doing things I would never do before, but have maybe always wanted to. To stop worrying about the what if’s and start living… really living.
I somehow in this crazy thought process decided to make Steemit a big part of this journey, to document some of the process here and hopefully convince some of you all to join me on the journey.
Why Here?
Well, because it is not something I would normally do in the past… I don’t like sharing personal things and don’t really blog much, let alone about myself. So, since this whole thing is about getting out of my comfort zone, sharing on this platform that I have grown to love only seems fitting.
The Challenge
The idea is to start A Year Of Firsts, I will be sharing a list here (I promise I am almost to the point of this post, stay with me)... not only for the accountability but also to include you beautiful people in my personal journey and hopefully to encourage others to maybe start their own Unexpected Journey. Life is too short to not live it to its fullest.
Now that you are all up to date, lets take a look at my journey so far and what I can check off my list...
My Year Of Firsts To Do List
For me personally, this journey is very much about myself, and growing as a person. To stop worrying so much about what others think, stop pretending I have it all together and just accept that I am a broken human being trying to do the best I can.
#1. Go To #Steemfest On STEEM
Why Steemfest? Because never in a million years would I ever fly overseas by myself, to a conference to meet individuals that I don’t know in real life ... to talk about a platform based on crypto currencies. I mean really… but not that I didn’t want to, in fact when steemfest was talked about I always wanted to go, but it’s just not something I would do normally. It is unexpected... I mean seriously, who the hell am I? To me this is a prime example of why this challenge is so beneficial; Once you conquer one of your fears... the next one doesn't seem so scary anymore. Even the whole process of going to SteemFest put me out of my comfort zone and had me doing things I had never done before.. like doing a vlog.. yeah.. first ever video on the internet.. not to mention the first photos of myself going up on Steem. This first goal really ended up accomplishing quite a bit, and even before I got to Krakow.. I felt like I had already grown as an individual. My Blocktrades Ticket Giveaway Entry - Aka FIRST VIDEO EVER and Part Two Road To Steemfest Freewrites which became such a bonding experience - Three Facts, After Hours, The Physical Road, Fears, and Breaking The Ice. Gosh, there is so much I could write about this one goal as it really was the beginning of it all. I somehow conquered so many of my fears and because of that was able to enjoy an experience I will never forget. Just imagine if I had been to scared to push myself out of my comfort zone? I would have missed out on so, so much. I think I can proudly say, I kicked this goals ass. This is an easy one right? Everyone wants to travel...not only do I want to explore far off places, but also to take the time to explore the beautiful places around me. To notice the small things and live every day reminding myself of the beauty in the world. Travel doesn't always have to be far away, and sometimes it can't be.. so I always am making a point to just explore in my own area to places I maybe wouldn't normally venture to. This goal I think will be ongoing, but I think I am off to a pretty great start! I have always loved photography and find myself noticing scenes I want to capture. While I having been sharing shots that I have taken with my phone (I know, I know… that’s not real photography), I want to learn the art and skills behind photography as well as experiment with film photography and developing my own film. I have taken so many photos and also shared them here on Steem.... too many to even keep track of (including many of the posts I linked above) as well as even trying my hand at some street photography! Nothing like pushing an introvert to go take pictures of random people to really get them to live outside their comfort zone. You can scroll my blog to get a good idea of how photography, and this goal, have really taken over my life a bit .. but I will share some of my favorites... Hauntingly Beautiful | A Foggy Morning Photography Adventure Life's Not Always Beautiful | An Uninspiring Photography Adventure This one is the least likely to happen hahaha... I hate taking my own photo (the first one up there took me hours to convince myself to post). I just don’t like it, I am uncomfortable and awkward and quite frankly feel like a fool posting photos of myself. Sooo what better thing to do to get myself out of my comfort zone?? And hopefully helping me to be more comfortable in my own skin… or just embarrass myself, it could go either way. What I realized though is that when my love for photography started to flourish (see previous goal above), this part just came naturally. I find that self portraits are not only a form of self expression but they also are an amazing way to practice your photography skills. It makes you notice lighting, movement and also prepares you to take portraits of other people.. who knew?! So, I started not only taking self portraits but also sharing them on Steem. Why? Because I hated it. I felt exposed and just not comfortable with it at all.. I hated photos of myself and even more, hated posting them on the internet. Which is why my face can be found all over my blog now.. ha. What I can say now is that I am more comfortable in my skin, just by doing these... even when I don't post them.. there is something about self portraits that just makes begin to accept yourself, it's really hard to explain. Sure I have had amazing compliments here from those I post, and that is lovely and sweet... but it's not about that.. it's that now I can see a photo of myself and not only accept it, but appreciate it.. and that is leaps and bounds from where I was before. There have been many events in my life that have made me who I am, flaws and all… but someone (yes my Mother) seems to think that sharing some of these experiences might help someone else who is in the same shoes. This one I am mixed on. I have shared things... I have been open and honest and expressed my thoughts and feelings, but haven't really shared "My Story." I honestly am not sure how that would even go or if just sharing bits of pieces of me is sharing "my story." So we will say that this is still in process, and I will try to share a bit more... in some way, in the future. But I feel like I have found some way of self expression here.. usually involving some form of photography mixed with a free write style of posting that shares parts of me while being pretty raw and honest... but always of course only sharing what I want to and nothing that makes me too vulnerable, maybe that is ok... I am just not sure it achieves the goal at hand. So, this one is a work in progress... just like me. But I really have shared quite a bit... and way, way more than I ever would normally share. In fact, I normally wouldn't share anything at all... This one is a bit of a compromise.. I feel like I have found an avenue here for self expression that has been healthy for me while also only sharing what I want.. which feels a bit like cheating. So, I say this is a great step forward and I am really proud of what I have been able to "expose" of my inner self, but I am not sure I have achieved the original goal set out above... I do think I have grown from this practice though and let's be honest, that is the true goal here after all. This one has been like 20 years in the making… I love music, and I mean really love it. Music touches my soul and effects me on a deep emotional level. Playing guitar is something I have always wanted to do, but never had the courage to try… so… here goes nothing. (Also part of the deal is that when and if I learn to play guitar, I have to enter openmic.. as it is a promise I make a friend long ago...even if it was a joke at the time.)* Crazy enough this is one of the things I most want to do and have for so, so, so long. I have longed to learn to play guitar as far back as I can remember. I have watched close friends play guitar and I just watch... terrified of who knows what and too scared to just try. To worried about sucking or failing or some other insane inner monologue that has held me back. I even own a guitar... and it just stares at me. UGH. So yeah, this one is a big failure so far... but I still have some time to get over whatever is holding me back here... I even (after a very random and unexpected "lesson") have become motivated again to power through this one. I just need to find my pick... So, goal here is to actually pick up the guitar and attempt to being learning... that's the goal for the next few months. Wish me luck... A few years ago I switched to making all my own natural products rather than buying them. At the time I sold them locally to a few friends and at farmers markets but have never put much effort into it. This one is a bit all encompassing, but I want to focus more on being myself; the goofy, nerdy... silly hearted crazy girl I am… and finding out who I am exactly. I want to say what I mean, and not what I think others want to hear. I want to say no when I want to say no, and not just try to please others. I want to spend time with those that make my life better and not waste time on those that add negativity to it. I want to learn my self worth and live life to the fullest… that shouldn’t be too hard right!? Hey, it’s all about taking one day at a time… Ah, this one might be the most important yet... and why it was saved for last. It may not seem like much to some, but this fully covers everything I want to achieve from this process... to just figure out who the hell I am and fully embrace whoever that is, flaws and all. I spent a large majority of my life desperately trying to be what someone else wanted me to be, and failing miserably at it. Trying to obtain perfection... trying to fight and hide all my quirks as they weren't seen as favorable.. trying to fit the mold that society had put on me... trying to be anything but what I truly am. All of this made me struggle with insecurities and lack of self confidence, which I believe has made me make choices that were not in my best interest.. which lead to unhappiness and the cycle continued. Being able to even acknowledge that is huge, actively working to better yourself to ensure it doesn't happen anymore... that is life changing. Realizing that you are not perfect, and no one expects you to be.. embracing those brilliant flaws that make you unique. Admitting that you are broken, but beautifully broken.. and there is nothing fucking wrong with that... that is the goal here and I feel like I have come so damn far from where I was before, even if I still have a long way to go. I think I have achieved this goal.. to some extent, I’ve tried to show “realness” even is silly photos and honest writing to try to let others know that there is no perfection.. and there shouldn’t be. Honestly I can look back and say, I don't even know who that person was before. Just being able to say that is an achievement in itself. This #unexpectedjourney will be one of self discovery, adventure and taking the time to really live this beautiful life I was given. Hopefully a year from now I can look back and see that this was the start of something special, and I hope it will be the start of something special for you too. Let's embrace the broken... and be who we were meant to be. When does your Unexpected Journey begin? It's never too late... Much Love, Justine
source
It was my first Steem Meetup as well as my first solo trip overseas. It will always be one of my most cherished experiences and well, before this "Unexpected Journey" I would have NEVER done such a thing. Heck, I even did my first ever public speaking event there as well.. which in itself is an insane thing for me.
closing dinner in a salt mine
SteemFest Post Highlights:
#2. Travel To Places I Have Never Been
I have been to Steem Meetups, randomly went to foreign countries by myself, and just enjoyed this beautiful world we live in.. and I can't wait to continue this. In fact, I have a long list of places to go and I hope to continue to check them off that list as much as possible. I find not only is it just the travel to see these amazing places full of so much character and history what makes this important, but the people you meet along the way.. as well as the constant adventures.
My favorite place so far- Belgrade, Serbia
Travel Post Highlights:
#3. Learn Real Photography
My camera has become one of my favorite things and I take it with me everywhere. It's become part of a type of "meditation" where I go out searching for unseen beauty, as a way to center myself and force me to focus on the small details that we normally pass by without a second glance. It has allowed me to capture my travels and adventures in ways I would have never been able to as well as finding a hobby that I really enjoy.
Photography Post Highlights:
This is another goal I feel like I have fully embraced, even though I have a long way to go. I am shooting in full manual mode and learning more and more each day... plus it's something I really enjoy. Mission Accomplished.
#4. Take Self Portraits
Now, I don’t mean selfies!! Selfies will never be a part of my daily life... BUT using yourself as part of your artwork to evoke a certain emotion I think is beautiful.. there are many photographers that do it well on this platform and I am going to try to get comfortable in this… I can’t promise anything on this one though.
My first self portrait, ever.
Self Portrait Post Highlights:
I actually have used Self Portraits in many posts and even use them as a way of self expression... So, I like to think this one is also a win.
#5. Share My Story
I get it, I have benefited from reading many stories of people’s personal struggles and triumphs. I think it makes you realize you aren’t alone in this struggle and that other people have been where you are.. that is important.
While I don’t think I am a good writer/blogger/inspirational speaker, I plan to share more… and try to express those things through blogging here. If it inspires one person it will be worth it.
Self Portrait art experiment that was used in "trust" post linked belowMy Story Post Highlights:
#6. Learn To Play Guitar
#7. Start My Own Business
My passion is more for teaching individuals how to make their own products and giving them the courage to do so through hands on classes. So, I plan to launch a online business to sell my products as well as offer classes locally to teach others exactly how to do it.
I also want to start doing video tutorials here on steemit to help reach as many people as I can. I think knowledge is power, and I want to share all I can with the individuals on this platform. To me Steemit is so full of amazing people learning from each other’s experiences and I want to be apart of that.
This is one that I will be working on to at least begin the process of launching locally as well as having some sort of online presence. I will be starting slow and then just trying to build from there... it's never been about selling the products for me, but rather empowering others with the knowledge and confidence to actually make the items themselves. Video tutorials are a perfect way to start that, as well as offering classes locally... it's time I kick myself in the ass on this one...
#8. Be Real
What I am sure of is that who I am today is a much better version of myself, my true self... and that is due to the decision I made to push myself out of my comfort zone (or throw myself really). This allowed me to discovery who I really am and therefore grow as human being into something so much more than I was before.. and that all started with an idea on a train.
When Does Your Unexpected Journey Begin?
