Has our ability to establish healthy boundaries been sabotaged as a result of colonization and our modern way of life? Is there any hope that we can heal from generations upon generations of trauma and find peace within ourselves and between each other?
I will admit that there are times where I doubt that we can overcome all the damage and harm that was done and continues to unfold. All the other times I do experience hope and I do believe it is possible to acheive. It is going to take a lot of work to heal ourselves, learn new ways of interacting with one another and confront anybody who would jeopardize our accomplishments.
I've been very open about my journey over the last 50+ years. One of the foundational principles that I learned in that time is that boundaries are absolutely critical to ensure that I don't engage in violence against others AND that others don't engage in violence against me. I've worked hard to live to that standard for nearly 20 years. This foundational principle is behind all the work that I've done to UNGRIP as well. When I setup that one single boundary, I dedicated my life to it. I evaluate ALL my relationships based on that standard. If the relationship does not hold up to the watermark I set, I say good bye. I've taken a zero tolerance to violence in my life.
The other side of that coin is that I've had to say good bye to a lot of friends over the years. I care about a lot of people, but when the line is crossed I confront it and end it. As a result, I experience a LOT of emotional pain and heart ache as deep emotionally intimate loss is very tough to heal and mourn. In fact, I would suggest that this one point is why most people hold onto relationships far beyond any healthy level. Why is it that we are so afraid to feel pain, heart ache or loss? This fear is rooted in many of the syndromes that people experience, whether that be battered spouse syndrome or even battered citizen syndrome.
If we could find the courage, skills and support to help us deal with such loss, pain and mourning, then would we find ourselves trapped by the aggressors in our lives? Could we then find the power and authority to stand up to the violent abusers and put an end to all the violence in our lives?
I believe the answer to those questions is a resounding YES!!! I've worked very hard to work through the fear as we have all been taught to obey authority, don't question authority or surrender to authority. How convenient is it that violence is often done under the guise of authority?
In the US, thousands of children are being held in concentration camps in appalling conditions with many reports of sexual abuse, neglect and illness. This is violence in the extreme, but how many people are considering withdrawing their relationship and support to the state responsible for these crimes? Yes, that would require surrendering benefits and privileges, but is that not worth the price to confront the violence being done on your behalf? Are other people worth the sacrifice? If not us then who? We have seen this type of behaviour before, in Nazi Germany. Don't think it will happen here? What are you going to do about it? Maintain the relationship despite the violence, ignore the ugliness of the relationship because you are receiving benefits and privileges from your master? Shameful and repugnant behaviour.
Canada is not any better either. Despite the MMIWG report that came out a few weeks ago, some jurisdictions are still holding birth alerts. If you are not aware of what that is, some provinces mandate that hospitals must alert the province if an indigenous woman gives birth to a baby. That way somebody from CPS can swoop in, check out the situation and take the baby preemptively if necessary. This happened in BC recently when an indigenous woman gave birth to her first baby via C-Section. CPS took the baby when it was 90 minutes old on a report that it was being neglected. The mom had not even recovered from the surgery before her baby was gone. This is genocide and violence that goes well beyond any sane standard of ethics and morality. What are you doing about it?
How many people are willing to end their relationship with the provincial and federal government out of the principle that violence in all forms is not a healthy, respectful or ethically valid relationship paradigm? If you still have a relationship, then you are complicit in the crimes of your government. How comfortable are you in these ideas? Perhaps the benefits and privileges garnered by your country masks the crimes that are being done so that you can prosper with a clear conscience. But is the consequences to your spirit really clear if you ignore these situations?
How many people are willing to sacrifice relationships, benefits and privileges in order to obtain peace and confront violence? Not many. Even on this blockchain, I've been a lone voice in the void when it comes to the violence associated with flagging. People would rather justify specific behaviours as they fit in with game theory or provides a balance to the system, which justifies the violence or provides a framework to argue that there is no violence in the action at all. How easy is it for us to demonize our enemies so that we can justify our actions and behaviours against others with no emotional, mental, spiritual, moral or ethical consequences. How easy is it for us to lie to ourselves so that we don't have to deal with the ramifications of our actions and behaviours?
I've been a member of a tribe for the last year or two. I've spoken about the tribe a great deal and I was invited as an elder in that tribe. Recently I was accused of harming the tribe as my views on fiat currency is very different than theirs. I view fiat currency as an evil weapon created on the enslavement of many for the benefit of a few privileged people. I've worked hard to completely eliminate my dependency on fiat currency where some key elders within the tribe are working to "transmute the energy" of the money to do good, without first remedying or freeing those who were enslaved. From a moral and ethical point of view, this is violent beyond measure as I fail to see how we can morally or ethically stand on a position of privilege to help some people with the proceeds that come from the enslavement of others. I confronted them on this point, but we are left with agreeing to disagree.
When I reached out for some help due to emotional pain I was experiencing, I was confronted with yelling, swearing and an attempt to force me to surrender to a principle that violates my foundational beliefs. This level of violence crossed the line and I ended the relationships within 24 hours. It shocked many members of the tribe as people are not accustomed to such firm boundaries. It's been nearly a month and people are still working through their feelings about my withdraw.
A similar situation happened with my relationship with fulltimegeek and the stewards of gondor about a year ago. They went to war against other users on this platform and I refused to go along with their plans. I confronted them on it, removed myself from the group and said good bye. Some of those individual have since blocked me as they don't want to be confronted on their behaviour. They would rather hide on their justified principles than look in the mirror and contemplate the violence that they engage in on a regular basis.
This type of behaviour is beyond acceptable!
This world is experiencing a profound crumbling of the moral and ethical standards upon which we all govern ourselves. The people that run the state, whether they be politicians, bureaucrats, lobbyists, licensed practitioners, police, courts or even the voting citizen, are all swirling down into a black hole of violence, hatred, mistrust, bias, discrimination, greed and privilege. What we need now more than ever are people who are willing to shock the shit out of people by breaking up all the violent relationships that people depend on. We are social creatures and we have found ways to be completely dependent on those relationships, no matter the physical, emotional, mental or spiritual costs.
However, our souls are in jeopardy in this place. We cannot afford to sell our soul for comfort in this physical realm. We are here for spiritual growth, which means we must overcome the fictional and physical traps and justifications. How many of us are willing to sacrifice everything in order to stand in the highest spiritual standard? How many of us are willing to pay the price in order to ensure that others are not violated? How many of us are willing to sacrifice ourselves to save others?
The Kicker
When I say "no" and walk away from a relationship, the other individual has no say in the matter. That is what pisses people off the most. Their reaction is often pain and anger, but that is their issue to deal with, not mine. I'm not going to be manipulated by guilt, shame or other behaviours just so that the relationship can be re-established. I'm not going to pander to the discomfort of others. I've lived this way for nearly 20 years and yet people are still astounded that I would behave in this way. I have a zero tolerance to violence and I've said no to some of the most powerful people on this planet. I've said no to the Pope, Queen, Governor General, Lieutenant Governor of Alberta, police, courts, municipalities and very close, dear friends. I've said no to a LOT of people because I refuse to have relationships with people who would contemplate violence as being a part of a healthy relationship.
The Hard Part
As a result of this firm boundary, I've done a lot of mourning and saying good bye to a lot of people. My circle of friends just got a lot smaller again as a result of recent events. My pain is real and I hurt a lot as some of these relationships were very deep with extreme emotional intimacy. But I will do it again as the rewards of having these emotionally intimate relationships far outweighed the costs that I pay now. All relationships will end here, so there is no sense in fooling myself otherwise. I get into relationships knowing what the costs will be. I will do it again knowing that I will get hurt and so with they. There is no getting around those facts.
If we can find the courage to acknowledge this truth, then perhaps it would be far easier for us all to stand up to the violence in our lives. Until then, it may indeed be easier to find Big Foot, explain all the UFO sightings or solve the Jack the Ripper mystery. As I witness social, political, economic and financial institutions crumbling under the weight of abhorrent, evil behaviours, justified by law and supported by billions of people, I know that a day of reckoning will come and those that don't figure this out will have to answer to a higher power as to why they participated in all the shit going down.
[Public Domain]
Are we going to stand on the side of righteousness or will we have to be judged by Creators hands because we did not care enough to sacrifice our wealth, privilege or feelings to stand up for what is right? I'm not the judge, Creator is. But I am a witness to what is unfolding and I am authorized to stand and testify to what I see. This shit has got to stop and I'm willing to end relationships and rebuke people to make the point. Our time is short to make the choice. Which choices are you willing to make?