How many times have we heard people say "you're over reacting, it was just a joke"? People don't like to be called on their abusive behaviours and one of the more common defense mechanisms they use is to deflect the whole issue by suggesting they were just "joking". This is a covert violent behaviour to minimize their own responsibility and to demean or belittle the other by suggesting that they over reacted or took the whole situation out of context.
I started The Virtue Circle last month to bring awareness to how we interact with one another on social media and to establish boundaries for healthy interactions with one another. I take this seriously and always have since my own recovery from narcissistic behaviours in 2001. This is no joking matter!
What I'm finding though is that our 'armour' is so thick and entrenched, it is often difficult to get past it so that we can have meaningful dialogue and heal. For many years I always thought that the only way for that armour to come down was if the individual went into a life or death crisis which forced the armour to crumble. When that happens, then the individual would face a choice: change or die.
I'm now starting to realize that there is another option and I'm actively exploring it. The armour is there to protect the vessel, most likely as a result of past trauma. However, that armour also causes unhealthy reactions to people around them and often results in narcissistic type behaviours. What if there was a way to bypass the armour?
The armour protects the physical, mental and emotional and exists as a manifestation within the fictional and physical realms. But what about the Spiritual? What if we worked hard to look past all the unhealthy behaviours and peer into the heart and spirit of the Spiritual being as well? What would we find?
We would discover a sacred individual struggling to find a way to work with his / her vessel, desperately looking for help, guidance or assistance. The analogy of a rider and his / her horse is a great example of what I'm suggesting here.
Some riders and trainers use a method of 'breaking' the horse in order to be able to train and ride the beast. This requires breaking the spirit and will of the animal so that it would be obedient. However, this is a violent and abusive technique and does not guarantee that the horse will fully cooperate. There are others that take a different approach, where they work with the animal to build trust so that the horse chooses to work with the individual out of cooperation and free will. By doing this, they work together for the mutual benefit of both and they leverage the strengths of both to achieve more than they could have individually. Both are motivated to work with the other and as such there is no strain or conflict within the relationship.
Our relationship with our bodies is no different. My vessel was broken as I faced a 'change or die' choice. It was at that point that I surrendered to Spirit to learn how to work together as one. It took me 17 years but I am now starting to find ways to have a much more intimate and cooperative relationship between me and my vessel. What if there was a way to help the Spirit to reach out and interact with his / her vessel so that a more peaceful and healthy relationship can be formed without breaking the beast?
We often focus on the physical while we are doing this work, but what if we started focusing on the spiritual as well? We can bypass the physical and all it's armour and communicate directly, spirit to spirit. Spirit is dealing with an injured mustang and it takes a great deal of energy, patience, persistence and experience in order to heal that mustang. If we reach out to spirit, we can thaw the armour from within by expressing love, gratitude, peace and freedom, spirit to spirit.
To do this requires that we drop all of our opinions and judgements about the behaviours of the mustang (vessel) and peer through their heart and directly into their spirit. We can recharge one another so that we have the strength to address the relationship between the physical and spiritual in order to heal and then flourish.
Boundaries are still very important in that process. My boundaries help ensure a healthy relationship between me and my vessel. It is the groundwork that manifested those boundaries as my vessel and I agreed to work together. The boundaries are the terms and conditions of that agreement and form the foundation of my relationship with my body. I take that agreement very seriously and no matter how much guilt or shame people try to throw my way, I refuse to back off from that agreement.
Lots of people have walked away from me as a result, even here on steemit. I used to make about $20 - $25 per post and now it is about $2 - $2.50 per post. That matters not to me. Integrity, peace, non-violence, freedom and healthy relationships is what matters most. It is the Spiritual rewards that I'm after, not the physical or fiction constructs that most people focus on.
I started The Virtue Circle to bring the highest level of integrity, peace and non-violence to all my relationships, even here on this platform. Many people have embraced the idea and added the banner to their posts as well. It takes courage to confront others when they breach boundaries and engage in violence. Now it is time to also reach out spiritually to those who have yet to find a way to have their mustang and spiritual rider working in harmony and mutual cooperation. Now is the time to find ways where both engage together with their own free will for the mutual benefit of both.
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