So a few days ago, I was hard at work on my boat, making it bigger so that I could go on a raid. I got a bit thirsty and decided I need to go to the inn to get something to drink before I continued. When I got there, the inn was closed. Being the concerned Viking that I am, I went to investigate. I checked all the doors and windows to see if I could take a peek inside.
While snooping around, I thought I heard screaming coming from the inside of the inn. I took my axe and started chopping down the door so I could get in and help the damsel in distress and hopefully get lucky in the process. Although the last time I saved a damsel she was really mad at me. How was I supposed to know it was screams of pleasure before I lobbed her assailant's head off?
So anyways, as the door gave way, I ran inside yelling my battle-cry. Well, I was yelling something when I tripped over the debris of the door and fell face first to the floor. I must have been knocked unconscious for a long time because, when I got up from the floor, the inn was packed full of people laughing and drinking already. The innmaid was particularly pleased to see me, she was moaning already.
Having quenched my thirst I started back to my boat to continue my work. By the time I got back to the boat it was getting late, but I really wanted to finish it. Being a bit drunk and not really paying attention to what I was doing, since I was not listening while I was busy explaining to myself, I put the ladder upside-down. As you all know, you have to climb up to go down an upside-down ladder and climb down to go up. This got me really confused and caused me to fall off the ladder onto my shoulder.
I had to go to the shaman to get my shoulder fixed up, but we ended up playing "tell me my future" and lost track of time. Eventually he gave me some ointment and balm, which I consumed all at once since I was really hungry. I cannot remember much after that, but I woke up two weeks later and my boat still was not finished. My shoulder is still a bit tender, but it seems like I would not die from it, despite my initial suspicions.
And there you have it. That is how I banged up my shoulder and became unable to drink or tell you stories for two weeks. Peace, prosperity, and promiscuity to you all!
Disclaimer: Ingesting large amounts of balms and ointment is not endorsed by the Guild of Shamans.
Art by @anikekirsten (claiming to be too busy with "actual" work)