Another day on earth. Boring.I want to go back home but I’ve been earthed. You miss one solar system class and wham. Parents on my planet have no recourse but to send their naughty spawn to earth.Why was I born on Flibbergibber, the planet with the worst laws!. Being genetically advanced beings, we have to protect our kind and thrive. But if your best friend find glumpshukles and wants to share them with you, what would you do? Go to a boring class about Uranus instead?
Earth is the worst punishment. I don’t think a dumber race exists in the milky way. Logic evolved out of this race or was never present.
I reached the dump where I spent my punishment. My host was wringing her hands more than usual. According to human etiquette I asked if anything was wrong , even though I knew the answer. The world is about to end. I looked around to see how many bottles of wine were littered across the kitchen.
“Erm, sure Mrs. Stevens. I’ll go upstairs and look at the sky.”
For the first time her drunk eyes focussed on me and gave me a note. It was from home.
Dad had encrypted the following message:
Meteor is going to hit earth. Planet will be destroyed. Will think of other punishment.
I rolled my eyes. There was an awkward silence.
Sorry about your planet.
She started emitting saline water at an alarming rate.
“Save me, take me to your planet.” She pleaded.
In the short five years of my existence, I have never felt so uncomfortable. I could not explain to this lowly creature the difference in atmospheric conditions between this garbage dump and Flibbergibber. Naturally, I turned into a nano particle and vanished.
Mrs. Smith died of liver damage on the third day. Not because of the meteor. I sat as a nano particle for three days, to avoid human emotions.
Mom and Dad sure were taking their sweet time.
As I drifted past the bakery, to forage for my daily pastries, I saw no sign that people were aware of the end of the world.
Fools. A basic calculation of the magnetic field would have alerted them. Not my place to alert them.
Mom and Dad should buy a new spaceship, this one was taking light years.
Just as I was drifting past the crop circles where I made signs to mess with humans after changing back to my circular body, I could sense a disturbance in the field.
Oh My Pizza-deity, I am not dying on earth. But it wasn’t an asteroid, it was my best friend Paco.
“I’m here to rescue you!” He said in his usual ungainly and abrupt manner. Oh boy!
“Paco, did my parents send you?” Is there no end to my punishment. He’s my best friend but really the last person you’d want in an end of the world situation.
“Their spaceship has a broken transkipgort.” He replied. My parent’s old spaceship didn't even have a transkipgort!
“Let’s go” I said as I climbed into Paco’s dumpster spaceship.
“Well there’s a problem” he murmured.
My worst fears came true. Stupid Paco had not the calculated the amount of fuel needed for a round trip. The spaceship was as useless as him.
“ So, where can you find hydrogen fuel on earth?” he asked sheepishly.
“Oh right around the corner from the book shop.” I replied sarcastically.
“Don’t get snarky with me, I just came to save you.” he shot back.
If only the pizza-deity allowed us to choose our friends like they do on earth.
During my extensive studies on escaping from earth, I’d learnt about NASA. If we were to find hydrogen fuel that would be the place.
We both turned into nano-particles, and after setting our speed to max reached this NASA place.
It was interesting place filled with old-timey rockets. We entered their lab where the slow noobs were trying to build a spaceship. We turned into our human form and grabbed the guy with the thickest glasses ( a mark of intelligence on planet earth) for interrogation.
He muttered something about not having had his meds but took us to the hydrogen fuel chamber. After extracting the right amount, Paco and I were about to set forth to the crop field.
But something about the pathetic nature of earthlings compelled me to at least warn them.
So, I sat with the guy and initiated a conversation. He obviously had many stupid questions for me when he learnt I’m an alien. Like am I immortal? Do I need food?
I just glared.
“If you are finished asking stupid questions, I just want you to know that a meteor is about to hit the earth.”
I had not meant to be so blunt but he really annoyed me.
His face took on an even more stupid expression. Before he could ask anymore stupid questions, I left with Paco.
We reached his spaceship. Paco had been quiet during the journey, which suited me just fine. He broke the silence as we launched into the atmosphere.
“Er it’s not really a meteor, I just realized that my science project on apocalyptic widdlebums was missing. I launched it by mistake. Oops!"
I looked wistfully at earth which was at least a Paco free existence.
Thanks to @dreemit for this amazing prompt. Please checkout the competition here.
Thanks to the @thewritersblock and @nobyeni for editing.