(original photo by me)
There is a need in the world of the sexes to which much attention isn't given. And it is the need for couples to communicate their sexual needs. More attention should be given to these needs because they determine, to a large extent, whether or not the union of these couples is enjoyed. Marriage or relationship is supposed to be enjoyed and not endured.
The major constraint to communicating sexual needs in relationships in the Africa Space is tradition and sometimes religion. Tradition and Religion seem to be reasons why spouses find it 'absurd' to talk about sex. The average African approaches sex mechanically. By this đŸ˜€ I mean, much attention is not given to the sexuality of the partner. When the man feels in need of sex, he goes to the woman and tries to get it in such a way that shows 'compulsion' which shouldn't be the way.
In tradition and religion we are talking about beliefs that pose a barrier to the kind of information that is exchanged between spouse and couples alike. Even in the church, it is scarcely preached. More people need to be educated in matters of this sort. This will put off a lot of issues that invariably lead to divorce.
The average African woman is scared to confront or open up to her husband about her sexuality. This issue is usually a two-edged sword being that, one, she may not know the right words to use in communicating these feelings or needs. In this she finds it difficult to tell her spouse what works for her as a result of her sexual peculiarities. The other issue is the reception she gets from her husband. Her husband may not be the understanding type and may end up taking the information for an insult. This usually sets the tone for the conversation and ends up keeping the woman from opening up to her spouse.
Men must begin to initiate educative sexual conversations with their wives. This usually, is beneficial to the male. No one wants a situation where they are tilling the soil and planting seeds but not getting appreciable harvest. When a man engages a woman in sex and never takes the time to get feedback, he may end up satisfying himself alone. This may result in series of issues in the home.
From series of talks I have had with men and women with respect to nagging in the house, we have found that in most cases when a woman nags at a man for coming late from work, it is usually not because he came late. We have found that most times it is as a result of build up of unsatisfied sexual engagement.
The man must begin to engage his wife in discussions to be informed about the peculiarities of her sexual needs. What ticks a woman is not easily known and as such, the man needs to engage the woman in a conversation in order to know how best to approach her.
Also the man needs to keep an open mind. Women evolve over time, more than most men. So the man must learn to invent or learn ways to make sure the woman gets as much of him as needed to keep a happy home.
The woman is a dynamic being and must be treated as such.
DO RESTEEM, UPVOTE AND COMMENT YOUR HONEST OPINION. I DO APPRECIATE.