CAECUS [Part 2]
Do it Caecus, I want to experience your darkest wound’s death, I want to feel your agony, I want to feel the force of the bullet against human flesh as if it were my own. I have long surfeited this desolated dimension, existing in this deadzone where I am not allowed to live. Kill us Caecus.
In an unconscious agreement, he reveals a shining 44 Magnum and he focuses intently on it as it rests in his hands. The initials carved on each side of the cylinder belonged to his wife, his 2 babies, and his god. Tracing each of them with his fingers, watching all the happiest moments of his past as if it were the equivalent of his last meal issued from the heavens. Imagine that, contemplating everything that you’ve lost in life in the placement of a last meal, how nice of his heavens. I’ll wait, indulge Caecus, stuff yourself full.
The brighter beings are becoming much more obnoxious at this point. They’re swarming and attempting to literally swallow this humans darkness, to feed just enough health to his aura. Screaming in his face, completely surrounding Caecus and I, infinitesimal space between us. Their touch stings me on levels beyond my normal tolerance, their screech is a bloody pierce to my ears, but all the worth if Caecus succumbs. I must feel.
He grips the handle of the gun and carefully places his finger on the trigger while raising it to match exactly his mid forehead power center that radiates the greatest amount of his pain. I place my hand on the gun with his, allowing him to hear the cracking of the black bones of my fingers as they curl around the barrel of the gun.
“Do it, Caecus.”, I can see his body violently shaking inside of my presence, his exhausted eyes letting loose falls of predetermined failure.
Just as I’d gained confidence of my possession of his death, Caecus falls to his knees once more, still at gunpoint, and beneath the final breaking of his spirit, softly voices, “I plead to you, my angels, free me from my mind.”.
It was in that moment that his dimmed aura gave in to the higher beings, it produced a small opening in which light flooded through from his head power center and opened receptive to them. My connection to his pain and body weakened by will of that tiny hole, as if it were to penetrate his depression, much like a sword through the core of a snarling beast. Caecus closed his eyes, listening, his mind empty and residing in a still manner, no waves of thought. My screeching neighbors swarmed that tiny hole and attempted to literally gauge it open. They were screaming into this opening that was now bursting with blinding light, trying desperately to make their voices reach his physical body, his conscious mind.
“DO IT, CAECUS!”, I scream, “PULL THE TRIGGER NOW!”, my voice doesn’t seem to reach him anymore but I must keep trying, I can’t let them steal this from me.
I decide to attempt contact with him in last resorts by placing my other hand on his shoulder to keep our connection straight. Slowly, I reach out to his body, I have never touched a human before, it is said to yield great pain to us lower entities, but all the worth. However, just before I reach his shoulder, one of the brighter beings strikes my hand, causing intense electrical impulses, and then proceeds to actually push me away from him. I withdraw both of my hands quickly and continue to scream at Caecus as I’m being shoved, “KILL US! DO IT ALREADY!”. I’m ready to beg, I have never been this close.
After an empty moment, Caecus decides to pull the hammer of the magnum down, rotating the cylinder to reveal the initials of his wife, his first love, his sacred trust. He presses the gun firmly to his head, he wants the bullet to compact as soon as possible, not a hair’s space between living and dying. I can’t let these angels veer him away, stealing my only chance to experience feeling the death of a human life, one that formidably pushes tsunamis across dimensions. I continue to scream and push back as much as possible, my energy is becoming violent with these higher beings, all the worth. What comes to me afterwards will be of no matter.
Caecus tightly closes his eyes, his tears are becoming thin, he is ready to leave. I can feel his body’s tensed anticipation as his finger slowly weighs down the trigger. Just a little more of a push. Then all at once, he draws his last breath until his lungs forbid further expansions, not allowing the thought flow of anything anymore, and slams his finger on the trigger. I flinch, expecting to feel something great, but feel... nothing.
I quickly look back towards him and immediately witness a being, much brighter than the others, standing in place of Caecus before the gun, blocking the bullet. I have never seen a being of this dimension actually stand in the body of a human. “NO!”, I scream, “THAT ISN’T POSSIBLE!”.
Caecus opens his eyes and pulls the gun back in shock. His frustration begins to build, for he does not want to feel anymore, he is terrified that he will be trapped in the walls of his cemetery and held against will, that gun must remove him. He pulls the hammer down once more, revealing the initials of his 2 baby girls and pushes the gun to his forehead once more. I have no control anymore, all I can do is watch and hope for the savior of at least one bullet
. Caecus takes another breath, clearing his mind once more, and slams his finger on the trigger without allowing thought flow. Nothing. I continue to stare at his body and the being resting inside of it to block these bullets. It looks to have grown brighter, as if several beings had placed themselves in his presence. Adjusting my angle at allowance of the one who blocked my ability to move closer, I saw a 3 beings merging inside of Caecus.
At this point, Caecus was screaming, “TAKE ME OUT OF MY HEAD!”, beneath deep sobs. He pulled the hammer down, revealing the initials of his god, and without hesitation pressed it against his forehead and pulled the trigger again without thought, and yet again, nothing fled through the gun. His entire body was blinding at this point, as if his aura was healing itself after all these years, in this one instant, where he had wanted to take his life.
He finally had given up, and at an instant, everything had left his body. His mind,alone now, embodied a frequency that I could no longer read. He took the gun and proceeded to recover the necklace he had buried, and married them together, to exist as one experience beneath the earth.
To be forgotten.
I am left now, isolated in my gloom. Robbed of my chances to feel. Goodby, Caecus. I’ll see you soon.