Ooo I can never completely trust the person who diffuses the situation and highlights the spread of blame… this is so well put together, you drop straight into the action, using carefully chosen dialogue to set a scene and draw us into this distrustful dilemma. You carry the emotional strain of living in this situation for a period of time fantastically, not stating how long they have been there until a way in gives the reader the immersive ‘endless’ feeling the character faces.
Underneath the facade we’ve all put up for the eyes of the public, some were actually nice people.
I just love this line, probably true of most people, a subtle background touch there ❤ the body turning up, and the way what had been an experience people were trying to make the best of takes a sudden turn to the premise set out in the beginning, it adds weight to the characters and drops a little ‘knowing your neighbors’ hint that comes in lovely at the end.
In a way, the people who were killed were saved
a simple line that casts such a shadow over the main character, both of doubt and empathy, emphasizing the weight of the struggle to come. The duel fear of wondering if they want something just as much as they don’t, the ever present axe waiting to drop should they close their eyes. I wonder if it is the same person who killed everyone, you set up a situation where with so many dying, and no way of really pinning down who did it, did someone else snap part way through and join in with the killing? Could they killings have been by a variety of people? Could more than one person left alive here have taken a life in the fear of suspecting someone else? Or could there be someone else in there with them… although no one could dare suggest that without instantly drawing more suspicion to themselves, a perfect set up really!
The ending is just brilliant… it really got me wondering about the killer… the fact that it was someone they had lived alongside for so long, a little note in there about how little we know our neighbors. For all they know, there was a serial killer on their street the whole time, someone who tried so hard to resist the urge in the bunker, but in the end couldn’t give in. Not providing a solid motive for the killings is just the perfect final touch, if they hadn’t had enough food for everyone for so long, or if there was some other pressure, but instead you force us to face this without an excuse.
RE: [Short Story] - Fallout