Midnight , silence all over except that between our eyes which was making noise to convey every emotion.
Sitting on his terrace , caressing his wedding card , I was smiling .
"What are you smiling at now?" He asked
"I'm so happy for you love, congratulations" I said avoiding eye contact
"Hmm, can I ask you something ?" He said keeping his head over my shoulder
"What?" I whispered in his ear
"I don't know , It's my wedding tommorrow but I feel so empty. I fear losing you as if I'm doing something wrong . I will miss you.
I love her but it's so beautiful when I'm with you .
Theres peace when I'm with you.
I fear that maybe you won't be the same for me like you are now and I won't have you by my side which scares me"
"But you'll have her , your wife, your love,she'll love you and will always be there for you" I said
swallowing the tears within
"Will you be happy ?" He asked
"Of course, I'm so happy for you" I smiled
"No, I'm asking will you be happy ?" He looked at me then
"Love, you have a soul mate now, and in your happiness lies mine so yes, I am happy"
"Hmm, why do you always do this? Why don't you ask me to stay? Why don't you say that you'll miss me and need me ?
Why do you always prefer my happiness even if it means hurting yourself .
I never understood why do you always agree to whatever I want?"
He kept on speaking when I stopped him " enough sweetheart, relax, it's fine"
"Just tell me why?" He asked and held my hands
"Because I... "
Closed my eyes , even after stopping too hard a tear trickled down my cheeks .
That moment I realised what heartache felt like .
Took a breath, swallowed all my pain and said "because I believe few things left unsaid are better "
And I walked away not sure if he understood those unsaid words.
And after all these years those unsaid words still make a noise in my heart.
They are caged and want to run and reach out to him but I can't let them. They'll always live within me, they don't have a place elsewhere.
There's a corner in my heart for the unsaid words and unexpressed love.