It is just ridiculous how my current life has been, I am just skin and bones and yet I could not have the appetite for me to be able to gain some weight or at least enjoy food.
So any food for me now is uninteresting, I should be having one of the best appetite because I have a very good complete blood count (BC) test result regarding my red blood cell and hemoglobin levels.
My appetite just went out the crapper after I have been taking my Cinacalcet but I could not take it from my life. I did took it off temporarily last December so that I could be able to feel a normal appetite again. It just resulted in a much pain levels for me.
That is why after I had an appendectomy last January my Endocrinologist which is one that gave me a medical clearance had seen me so she just gave me a prescription once again. I took it again twice a day but I really could not tolerate to freak'n drug, I would throw-up not to mention the nausea and appetiteloss and of course the expenses about procuring myself of the said drug.
Now I just can't even build an appetite anymore even with an intermittent fasting that I am doing, I can't have the urge to eat anymore.
But I've got to eat even with one time per day. So it is just like a chore to do just imagine eating as a chore and sometimes I just want to throw the tray of food because I do not like what was served to me. I have an issue too of my parents not being so good of a cook they are as well.
Now I also have to use some phosphate binder whenever I would eat so that I will not for most part absorb what phosphorus the foods are containing.
I have yet to see again how my iPTH and phosphorus levels are until I get tested again for them.
I also have to take an antituberculosis medication and those three factors really puts me into a very dreadful condition regarding how I cannot enjoy foods anymore because all of those drugs just gives me a depression with my appetite issue.
My stomach just doesn't like things to be in it right now and in fact I would get hiccups after I would eat. It is just a sign of an appetiteloss. Now if I know that I would be able to eat I would try to eat a boiled egg and that will be my protein source of the day.
I am also taking an apple a day to help me with my constipation issues as I am under Calcium therapy as well as part of my diet.
I just do not like the way that I live now, what is the purpose of my existence with only to live miserably and at the same time not really being cured and then having to deal with large expenses as well?
Some people admires me with what I am going through because I kept on fighting but I think even a warrior doesn't want to fight every single day of their lives. But this has been my life and I do not like it, it is unfortunate that it had come to this and I cannot end it unless my body conks by itself.
But my body keeps on going and going like an energizer battery. Too bad that I had taken the option to get operated on with my busted appendix last January. I could have requested to give me pain medication and sleep meds too. Wrong decision, it is just I am pain that I didn't realize that so now my sage continues with my Kidney and bone disease and of dealing with cinacalcet, the hardship that it gives me night and day.
I just thank God that at least I have some people all over the world that keeps on being at my back, you are all my heroes and you know who you all are. May God help me.