Tonight I am writing to you from the hovel my mind has become
Doldrums, we are sailing, no sounds of wind, just the pat of the ocean against the empty tank of my numb brain.
Nah, not really, Tonight I am typing to you from my home, nestled into a strange little seaside village/town/suburb of Machans Beach. Where the mosquitos drown out the planes that go overhead, but not in winter, to my great joy, as I don't have to be suffocating in mosquito coils to sit inside.
Ok Ok, Maybe i am just trying to make you not move here.
Don't make me change
adopt societies ways
They fucked me over years ago
I cant handle the same thing twice
From them
with their empty
heads
expectations
success
empty success
Successly vacuumed
each inch and fibre
of my being
mine
my life
not yours
doing things for me
not you
that includes getting the hell out of this place
insidemyself
where I hide
so you wont shame me
I'll shame myself
make myself laugh
to escape this
unshakeable
misery
The curse of the human condition
The existential knowing
That there is nothing else but this
Nothing else but this