but it must be lived forward
― Søren Kierkegaard
Sarah
It occurred to me I never had the desire to visit Paul and Lillian's graves. It would be bizarre to look at your gravestone from a previous life.
And maybe that's why Sarah and I make sense.
Yes, we were together once back in the late nineteenth century, but it was so far back it seems to fade with the memories.
Besides there was a reason why Clare and I sought each other out―we were struggling in this life and needed each other's help.
I also found it strange that Tess and I still had a strong attraction but didn't connect. I'd ask Clare who knows, but sometimes things are better left unsaid.
The odd man out is Nat―he's someone with whom I share no history, but he's in love with the past and helped Clare and I sort out gaps in our memories.
We all agreed to meet at five pm at Turtle Jack's but when I walked in I discovered two additional guests.
Sarah and Ross Parrish were there and I immediately feared the worst―that somehow all of us were still facing some kind of unforeseen threat.
But Clare instinctively read my fear when she saw the colour drain from my face.
She rose to meet me and said, "I hope you don't mind that we expanded the guest list, Marcus."
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Not at all," I laughed, "as long as the presence of 'the fuzz' is purely social."
"Don't worry, Marcus, we're not here to defend you," Ross chimed in.
"But if you get out of line, I might have to body-slam you," Sarah said in her sing-song voice, causing everyone to laugh.
"I guess my secret's out," I said colouring, touching the bruise on my cheek.
Sarah stood and leaned in and kissed me, "He just does this to make me feel guilty."
"And it works ever time," Ross guffawed.
As I sat beside Sarah I noticed Ross seated next to Tess, but more to my amazement, Nat was obviously with Clare.
"A lot has happened in the last few weeks," I smiled, shaking my head in awe.
"They say a crisis brings people together," Nat sagely averred.
Tess nodded, smiling at Ross. "I can't complain about my safety detail."
I held up my hand to get everyone's attention.
"Before we eat I want to say a few words of thanks to Sarah and Ross for protecting us and keeping us safe. And I also want to apologize for putting all of you in danger on my account. I couldn't forgive myself if anything happened to any of you."
Nat blurted out. "That's okay, Pal―we all love you enough to die for you."
Tess shook her head. "Uh, not so fast, Guy―speak for yourself."
We all burst out laughing.
"One last thing," I added, "I saw Luther Crowe today to amend my will."
"That's depressing," Sarah frowned.
"Not actually," I countered, "it's happy news. I bought the Yardley house to give to Clare along with the contents of the Yardley estate―after all, it's hers to claim the inheritance, even though it's a hundred years too late."
"I can't accept such a lavish gift," Clare protested.
"Paul would want you to have it, but he needs me to make it happen."
"This is so cool," Nat enthused, "to see the past connect with the present."
"In that regard, you'll be pleased to know, Nat, that I've set up a Museum for West Harbour with you as director. My father wanted to contribute to the community and I can think of no cause more worthy. to honour his memory."
"I'm speechless," Nat croaked.
"In that case," I laughed, "It's a perfect time to eat."
It was a long journey since I first came back to this house above the lake to find myself. I was twenty-nine and already made a mess of things.
But along the way I recovered my memory and discovered more about my personal history than I ever could have imagined.
As I gazed around the table at friends I made and others with whom I reunited, I realized my past wasn't buried in the graves of Lillian, Paul or my father and my identity couldn't be found in a place, but was inside, just waiting to be uncovered.